User Tag List

Page 19 of 39 FirstFirst ... 9171819202129 ... LastLast
Results 181 to 190 of 388

Thread: Bullying

  1. #181
    Once Was Array Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hirsch63 View Post
    This is very similar to my situation...I decided to hit the wieghts when I was about 16 or so...I grew fast at the time and the biggest reaction that I remember was not so much that the bullying abruptly stopped, but that people who never would have noticed me before and others who deliberately ignored me suddenly courted me as a friend...invited me to parties and wanted to share confidences and resources...WTF? I was the same person I was before, just much stronger. I began to resent this shallow treatment and kept my habit of isolation or building solid relationships one at a time...One good friend is worth a hundred acquaintences.
    Do you think it's possible this had more to do with a change in your attitude? In other words, maybe they were responding to a new confidence encouraged by your brand new physicality rather than the physicality itself? I noticed in high school that when I started growing and became less of a sad sack that people seemed to be around again. I think there is this tendency to avoid people with "bad luck".

    Also, the rest of your post was well said. Several things worth thinking about.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #182
    Senior Member Array Hirsch63's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    IS??
    Socionics
    InFj
    Posts
    525

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    ...In other words, maybe they were responding to a new confidence encouraged by your brand new physicality rather than the physicality itself? I noticed in high school that when I started growing and became less of a sad sack that people seemed to be around again. I think there is this tendency to avoid people with "bad luck".
    Thanks. Well, I was certainly not what could be described as "popular"...I was born with a slightly inconvenient birth defect that made my participation in conventional activities of youth difficult and I had always been heavier than my school mates. Fat+Crip = avoidance. I had some popularity as an artist in my school days but that was the extent of my personal glory.
    I took up the wieghts when I noticed that I seemed physically weak compared to everyone else in my class. While I couldn't run and jump well, I knew I could handle the lifting at a pace I could deal with and tolerate.

    After I "grew out" a bit some of the people that were now paying attention to
    me were the very same ones who had actively tormented me earlier growing up. I was still me. And there was no reason to believe that they weren't still them...I could clearly see that they still treated others, who were no different than I was with the same disdain or indifference...Oh well, they were just kids and that is how kids behave. How could they know better? I watched others around me who were also marginalized for one reason or another...I saw over the years how my new "friends" treated them. I was not perfect. I also made the shameful mistake of marginalizing some of my calssmates...feeling powerless and needing some validation of my "superiority" Ironic. And I could not forgive myself for this so I wasn't about to cut anybody else (especially those with advantages) some slack.

    Did my confidence level change? Sure. Did I carry myself differently? Yes I did. My body was different. I became a threat. I became useful to others as a source of protection. But the things that were me that mattered were not why my class mates were interested in being my new found friends. I stuck with the friends who had always been there when I was less "acceptable".
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  3. #183
    Member Array TheJimbo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    44

    Default

    I deterred bullies by accumulating over 9000 friends and making myself out to be dangerous/insane (sharped my pencils with knives openly during class, etc)

    In reality I'm pretty harmless until seriously crossed, then I passive-aggressively plot vengeance.
    "Whoever stands on the highest mountains laughs at all tragic plays and tragic seriousness." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

  4. #185
    Nips away your dignity Array Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,189

    Default

    Does bullying bullies count. :P

  5. #186
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    XNTJ
    Posts
    145

    Default

    I was friends once with a girl that competed with everybody and ran her
    mouth to get stuff started to get everyone else blamed for dumb stuff
    she got herself into and tricked others into taking on her responsibilities.
    I realized I was completely dumb to this but when she visibly started cutt-
    ing people down to size and dissing everyone but getting posessive with
    them and being a cling on when none of the cliques she'd started hanging
    out with were available and tried to get her 'friends' to take their places
    because she was addicted to the things they talked about and stuff they
    went around doing I felt like slowly clapping and saying "Bravo performance."
    How I handled it? I just told her exactly what I thought of her attitude
    and never spoke to her again when she used that tired old complete oppo-
    sites excuse.

  6. #187
    I'm a star. Array Kangirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,470

    Default

    Bullying makes me puke. And I say this as someone who tries to be honest enough (with myself) that I recognize that, sometimes, I have the propensity to bully. I have bullied. I try to see/recognize the feelings that lead to it and nip it before it starts, but everyone now and then I meet someone who comes off as extremely weak/absurd, and I'll go after them.

    That said, I've *never* been involved in systematic bullying, especially the vicious kind one often sees in grade school. And I continue to be amazed that so little is done about bullying of/by children. Stuff that would get adults charged and jailed is routinely just ignored if it occurs between children. I saw bullying when I was in school that went on for years, targeted always at the same kids, that still makes me want to cry it was so cruel. Their lives must have been pure hell. And no one did anything. Not teachers, not parents, and not uninvolved students (i.e. me).

    If someone bullied my kid, I would want to torture and kill them.
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

  7. #188
    Senior Member Array uberrogo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    istj
    Posts
    126

    Default

    If a kid was experiencing bullying, all I could think to do would be to to make a scene and 'bully' the principal/superintendant into pulling his head out of his ass and stopping unacceptable behaviors at his school. If that didnt work I would just tell the kid to be imaginative and walk up to the bully/ bullies and spit in thier faces in the middle of class and to make a huge scene. Being perceived as crazy/ physically violent is sometimes a good to ward of bullies.

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post

    umm... am I the only former bully here?
    I turned into a bully as an adult in the army - bullying popular people. Its a fine line I walk and luckily I havent gotten my ass kicked for it yet. I feel like retiring from that though lol.
    If Men's Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue.

  8. #189
    Senior Member Array sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    Bullying makes me puke. And I say this as someone who tries to be honest enough (with myself) that I recognize that, sometimes, I have the propensity to bully. I have bullied. I try to see/recognize the feelings that lead to it and nip it before it starts, but everyone now and then I meet someone who comes off as extremely weak/absurd, and I'll go after them.

    .
    You know Kan I saw this a bit with one of old VPs. He was a very strong ENTJ, and I loved him dearly, but what I noticed is that he was really annoyed by super weak people. For our workplace this means ISFJs mostly. They drove him nuts.

    Since I have had to start being more direct w folks I feel some of the same irritation. Is it the lack of directness which makes them annoying? They tend to be super feelers so getting a straight answer out of them can take awhile.

  9. #190
    Senior Member Array uberrogo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    istj
    Posts
    126

    Default

    A little trick I picked up is that if someone is making fun of you is to say something like: "I think I used that one in 2nd grade" or "I've been told worse by better." Something to make the bully feel stupid. If you can get the bullies friends to laugh at him then you win.

    For physically violent bullies I don't have much advice except to find some stronger friends. I was lucky that I had some of those in H.S.

    I tend to think that bullies who make fun of me are funny and sometimes I cant help but laugh if I am getting picked on.

    To the OP, I feel bad for your situation but I find this thread facinating.
    If Men's Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue.

Page 19 of 39 FirstFirst ... 9171819202129 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Group Bullying
    By Mole in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 12-04-2010, 10:06 AM
  2. The Psychology of Group Bullying
    By Mole in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 78
    Last Post: 09-18-2009, 01:26 AM
  3. [NT] INTx and bullying.
    By Angry Ayrab in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 10-11-2008, 11:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •