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Thread: Bullying

  1. #151
    half-nut member Array briochick's Avatar
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    there were isolated incidences of bullying in my childhood but I think two things served to my aid 1. I didn't really care what the other kids thought (I was well aware that they didn't determine the outcome of my life, grown ups did, at least that's how I thought) and 2. I was actually pretty oblivious to most other people most of the time. I think bullying someone who doesn't actually *notice* the effort you put into insulting them half the time looses it's charm pretty quickly. I also, at least through middle school, had a tendency to punch and be very agressive if I felt cornered. By the time I reached high school I was very quiet but I could verbaly skin someone if the need presented itself and while I suffered from depression I seemed to have gained whatever it was that kept me from being ritualisticly bullied. My brother was not so lucky. He was little and got upset easily. He wasn't creative so he didn't write violent scenes of murder in his notebook when he was mad, he just yelled and turned red and that seemed to fuel his bullies more, and his teachers weren't much help. When my brother got some height and muscle on him I know he spent a good year or two paying back anyone who would have caused him problems when he was smaller. Lol, I remember someone came to me saying "did you know your brother had some guy pinned up against the locker today?" All I could do was shrug, esp when he said the guy was dealing drugs.

    But, as a teacher I've seen bullying in a much less biased light. In both of my middle school classes there is a boy who is both younger and smaller than the rest of the students. One is(was? I think the problem is less now, at least in school, I don't know about after school, but I can't follow my student home) bullied, one is not. I spent a lot of time wondering about the cause of this. The one who was bullied was physically bigger than the one who wasn't so size wasn't the issue. No, it was more like...the child who was bullied didn't notice social cues, like when he was beginning to annoy the other kids, and if he didn't understand why I was telling him to do something (change desks, or stay where he was while someone else changed desks, or be quiet, or stop reading over the shoulder of the kid who normally pins you to a wall) which was often, he wouldn't do it. If there was free time he would often wander to the *very* point in class that would make him most phsically vulnerable (a corner, or a covey, or behind me where I couldn't see). And, when they started picking on him he had this high pitched whining cry, Interestingly similar to wounded prey, that would incess them to do it more. I felt bad for him but I admit, I also felt that if he didn't learn social-life preservation skills this would continue for quite some time. The other boy, the smaller one, was just as smart and just as young, but if someone pushed him he would usually just glare. He didn't talk a lot and that "dignity" if you will often seemed to trigger the protective instincts of some of the other students and so if there was trouble he ususally had aid in the form of someone bigger and older. It's a hard thing, both for teachers and for students. I can vouche that one of the boy's main bullies was a really good kid asside from that. Always did his work, got along well with others, was smart as all get out, kind to his siblings, participated in class, the whole bit. It's just...he hated that poor boy. I was often torn between wanting to throw the bullied kid out of class because it would make the whole class more harmonious without him, and wanting to throw everyone else out of the class because, despite the fact that the kid was annoying, their behavior was enethical and unwarrented and cruel.

    It's a very complex issue.
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  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    Regardless of what you do or do not carry around in your bag, surely you realise that when you posted that it was a rather charged statement (kidding or not) for such a topic given the replies. Was kinda asking for trouble.
    What kind of trouble ? Are y'all gonna start bullying her now ?

  3. #153
    Magical Array BlackCat's Avatar
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    I got bullied a lot. It sure as hell "added to my character." It made me an angry person. I got suspended for beating the shit out of the bullies like three times. I have no sympathy for bullies whatsoever.
    () 9w8-4w3-7w6 tritype.

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  4. #154
    A GOD Array Mace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I got bullied a lot. It sure as hell "added to my character." It made me an angry person. I got suspended for beating the shit out of the bullies like three times. I have no sympathy for bullies whatsoever.
    Wow.

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    Senior Member Array MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I got bullied a lot. It sure as hell "added to my character." It made me an angry person. I got suspended for beating the shit out of the bullies like three times. I have no sympathy for bullies whatsoever.
    You're a rare breed. Were you close to your parents? Meaning, were they supportive and caring? I ask because I could see somebody reacting this way if they got real support from people outside of school.
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  6. #156
    Senior Member Array MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitzy View Post
    oh god. why are you guys being uptight. obviously i was joking. well maybe not so obviously since apparently my sarcasm didnt get through too well.
    Nah, not uptight, just unable to tell if you were serious. I suppose the smilie should've been the tip-off, but, eh, well ... it's behind us now.

    Usually, when I'm being sarcastic online, I'll close out my comments with something like: </sarcasm>

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  7. #157
    Magical Array BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    You're a rare breed. Were you close to your parents? Meaning, were they supportive and caring? I ask because I could see somebody reacting this way if they got real support from people outside of school.
    Yes. I had a few friends too, and plenty of people I could/did stand up for.
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  8. #158
    Senior Member Array millerm277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I got bullied a lot. It sure as hell "added to my character." It made me an angry person. I got suspended for beating the shit out of the bullies like three times. I have no sympathy for bullies whatsoever.
    You had to do it three times? You've gotta get the intimidation part down better, give whoever it is something to actually fear. Sticks with them for far longer than any injury. My (only) fight...I cracked someone's rib, along with them breaking something in their hand from their bad punching. However, (as I had gotten a few bruises too), the message that I wasn't to be messed with didn't get across until I pinned the person, and just clasped my hands around their neck (tightly) and looked them angrily in the eye until they freaked out. Left him lying there (No, I didn't do it for long enough to actually cause any actual harm.), and walked away. He still can't manage more than a glance at me.

    Anyway. That solved my bullying problems, and more. No one even thought of bothering me again...and it bought me a sort of respect.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    Regardless of what you do or do not carry around in your bag, surely you realise that when you posted that it was a rather charged statement (kidding or not) for such a topic given the replies. Was kinda asking for trouble.
    ^ I second that.

    I think Mitzy said it out of naiveté - no harm intended. But this IS a serious thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    With girls:

    Imagine a pack of wolves. Now imagine that pack circling around a herd of deer. Imagine them slowly singling out one person who they perceive to be the weakest. All right, now imagine the wolves unendingly isolating that person and managing to turn the entire herd of deer against that isolated one. The wolves never eat the deer. They only nibble on it, bite it, shove it when it starts to look like it's getting tired/stronger.

    That's what girls do. All of this is verbal, by the way. None of it is ever physical, but it's that same kind of subtle manipulation that ends up becoming unnoticed until it's too late.



    Not cool. It's that kind of attitude that allows bullies to thrive in the first place. Bullying destroys character rather than builds it.

    I recognize your Dark Tower avatar. It’s not surprising that a Stephen King fan would have issues with bullying, since that is one his main themes. His Richard Bachman novel, “Rage”, foreshadowed the Columbine massacre and other school shootings by decades. Relentless bullying can push an unstable teenager over the edge, though unfortunately many people don’t want to consider that this is a significant factor in some of these shootings.

    When a victim of bullying or some kind of recurring harassment goes psycho, whether it be at school or in the workplace, no one seems willing to assign any of the blame to the instigator(s). That part of what happened is too often hidden from the front page, almost as if by unconscious conspiracy.

    I remember bullying and harassment at school as being more or less accepted by everyone, including teachers. Especially when it was the popular kids doing the bullying. It was almost viewed as something righteous, as if the losers were just getting what they deserved.
    Last edited by mysterio; 01-23-2009 at 06:04 PM.

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