Why are Americans so FAKE?

[OptoGypsy]

America is my wet dream

Why are Americans so fake? Fake Smiles, fake greetings, etc? "How are you" without meaning that shit, small talk is bullshit and a way to either wast time. They think they're being courteous with one another when in reality they are RUDE AS FUCK. People should be honest with another, and instead of pretending to care, show what is within themselves. why is such a small percentage real? Don't say because it's herd mentality and a fucking problem with self, e.g Russia is nothing like this. With Russians it's rude to be friendly with others because you don't know them giving them a perception of self preservation so they won't have to stab the person at a later date, no one asks "how are you" unless they know you, and it isn't a joke question but something to be taken seriously. This attitude creates a people that are loyal to one another.

 

[Xann]

Why are Americans so fake? Fake Smiles, fake greetings, etc? "How are you" without meaning that shit, small talk is bullshit and a way to either wast time. They think they're being courteous with one another when in reality they are RUDE AS FUCK. People should be honest with another, and instead of pretending to care, show what is within themselves. why is such a small percentage real? Don't say because it's herd mentality and a fucking problem with self, e.g Russia is nothing like this. With Russians it's rude to be friendly with others because you don't know them giving them a perception of self preservation so they won't have to stab the person at a later date, no one asks "how are you" unless they know you, and it isn't a joke question but something to be taken seriously. This attitude creates a people that are loyal to one another.

Your opinion is a side effect of there existing a world perception of Americans based on Hollywood movies that are mainly filmed capturing the spirit of big-city gridlock traffic and a time-is-money ideology. Many Americans also buy into this perception and tailor their behavior to match it as a result. Russians are still recovering from the nightmare of communism, they are resultantly a lower trust society, even amongst strangers very similar to themselves.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Your opinion is a side effect of there existing a world perception of Americans based on Hollywood movies that are mainly filmed capturing the spirit of big-city gridlock traffic and a time-is-money ideology. Russians are still recovering from the nightmare of communism, they are a lower trust society as a result, even amongst strangers very similar to themselves.

That much is obvious, I live in America. I know what I see and understand. Americans are friendly with one another and no one trusts one another unless it's a church community, and never the less trusting a friend is seen as naive even thought trust is the American Mantra. I'm talking about youth too, I myself am 21. Just some observations I've made. Pretending to be courteous, or feeling you need to do so because of societal norms only creates dishonesty and resentment.

 

[violet_crown]

Fwiw, I hate everyone

(..with exceptions. Mostly David )

 

[Xann]

That much is obvious, I live in America. I know what I see and understand. Americans are friendly with one another and no one trusts one another unless it's a church community, and never the less trusting a friend is seen as naive even thought trust is the American Mantra. I'm talking about youth too, I myself am 21. Just some observations I've made. Pretending to be courteous, or feeling you need to do so because of societal norms only creates dishonesty and resentment.

Maybe if your friends think your trusting them is naive, perhaps it's time for some new friends?

 

[OptoGypsy]

Maybe if your friends think your trusting them is naive, perhaps it's time for some new friends?

I have a couple of American friends, I mostly chill with the blacks or the Europeans (mainly Russians). I know this because of the borderline difference in the church between the members and the authority... it's a product of Americanization.

What I'm saying is that you're naive, but I don't know you and your group of friends so I can't judge lol. I'm speaking of societal interactions in the general. If you honestly think that people are real with one another... you are the prime example of naivety!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a Side note: This is the prime example of the white dumbass, satirizing real shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ociMBfkDG1w

 

[Forever]

Yep blame it on the Americans. I understand your problem but blaming it on a country isn't going to solve how you choose to perceive your reality.

Think twice, because I bet someone has thought of the same of what you did.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Yep blame it on the Americans. I understand your problem but blaming it on a country isn't going to solve how you choose to perceive your reality.

Think twice, because I bet someone has thought of the same of what you did.

I'm not blaming Americans, I'm blaming the social norms. I'm sure that someone of the mind set that they need to be courteous with others even though their feelings are telling them that they are lying, and suppress them for the better good, or seek to be fake friendliness with everyone to be liked view me as a rude, angst jerk.

I'm viewed as rude or depressed for not constantly smiling to strangers, and asking them mundane questions. How am I not supposed to take this as a Joke?

Several NTs, SPs, and NFs are outside of this as they usually don't give a Fuck, or existentialist.

 

[Forever]

I'm not blaming Americans, I'm blaming the social norms. I'm sure that someone of the mind set that they need to be courteous with others even though their feelings are telling them that they are lying, and suppress them for the better good, or seek to be fake friendliness with everyone to be liked view me as a rude, angst jerk.

I'm viewed as rude or depressed for not constantly smiling to strangers, and asking them mundane questions. How am I not supposed to take this as a Joke?

I say let people have their own problems. Be honest with them on it, see how they react. Don't expect people to know what you want or value.

 

[Also]

I can't speak for the entire country but my community is polite but not friendly. I can be polite without being familiar. Being courteous and well-mannered is very much so a 'stay in your lane' technique. It's seen as formal, distant, non-familiar. We understand that "how are you" does not mean "I trust you".

 

[indra]

Typically I would be disingenuous to myself by strolling on down to the next thread.

But today I shall show you American crude: this thread's a turd and your posts suck.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Typically I would be disingenuous to myself by strolling on down to the next thread.

But today I shall show you American crude: this thread's a turd and your posts suck.

That's not rude/crude, my point is that telling me the opposite even though this is the way you feel about it would be rude.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

That's not rude/crude, my point is that telling me the opposite even though this is the way you feel about it would be rude.

You seriously misunderstand the society you live in. Just because the society is different than Mother Russia does not make it fake. It makes it different.

And your expressions do represent your emotions. The expressions are universal independent of culture.

The Russians I know are either like you, solemn and morose in public, very unemotional, or very friendly. The key difference is if they grew up in Russia or the West.

Migrating to a new culture is difficult. You can close to look down on others and demean them or try to integrate and understand them.

If you are truly a INFJ, you should be able to understand this pretty easily. But you might just have underdeveloped Fe......

A developed FJ very much is in tune with his/her environment. But young NFJs often go through a very difficult time transitioing to adulthood, unless they grew up with ideal conditions.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

Perhaps it is a habit people develop, maybe from church, that they can't just pass a person without saying how are you. Over time, the routine becomes comfortable and it would bother you if they didn't ask. Or maybe not. But some people need to follow scripts and they need others to follow theirs too. I've seen people get spooked by an irregular answer. Maybe in colonial days, I'd be called a witch for being weird and burned.

 

[OptoGypsy]

You seriously misunderstand the society you live in. Just because the society is different than Mother Russia does not make it fake. It makes it different.

And your expressions do represent your emotions. The expressions are universal independent of culture.

The Russians I know are either like you, solemn and morose in public, very unemotional, or very friendly. The key difference is if they grew up in Russia or the West.

Migrating to a new culture is difficult. You can close to look down on others and demean them or try to integrate and understand them.

If you are truly a INFJ, you should be able to understand this pretty easily. But you might just have underdeveloped Fe......

A developed FJ very much is in tune with his/her environment. But young NFJs often go through a very difficult time transitioing to adulthood, unless they grew up with ideal conditions.

Have you read the book the stranger. He was, and would be seen as a sociopath for being different. I'm not looking down upon anyone, this comes down to what [MENTION=21203]Grand Admiral Crunch[/MENTION] had to say. An NFJ is good at observing people and using their intuition to help them and and encourage them. You have completely misunderstood me. I'm not saying to be unfriendly to others but to get to know someone before you ask them how they are good to receive and give the typical answer: "Good". People don't share personal things with those they are not close with therefore they detach themselves while pretending that they are friendly with the other person. This is classic Sartre shit. It would be better to truly understand someone through a cup of coffee/tea then to pretend and go on living your life. Pretending only has the person lie to themselves and the rest of society.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Have you read the book the stranger. He was, and would be seen as a sociopath for being different. I'm not looking down upon anyone, this comes down to what [MENTION=21203]Grand Admiral Crunch[/MENTION] had to say. An NFJ is good at observing people and using their intuition to help them and and encourage them. You have completely misunderstood me. I'm not saying to be unfriendly to others but to get to know someone before you ask them how they are good to receive and give the typical answer: "Good". People don't share personal things with those they are not close with therefore they detach themselves while pretending that they are friendly with the other person. This is classic Sartre shit. It would be better to truly understand someone through a cup of coffee/tea then to pretend and go on living your life. Pretending only has the person lie to themselves and the rest of society.

Yes, I read it 30 years ago.

Again, you misunderstand Fe. Fe is truly connecting with others. With developed Fe, one can connect with casual strangers and engage them. It isn't fake. It just makes you uncomfortable, which is always a good sign of am area we need personal development.

I meet people every day and can chat with them as if we are long term friends, having them tell me how much I seem to know them and how easy it is to talk to me. People share deeply personal things constantly, but I usually have sensed it long before they tell me.

The deep profound connection can develop pretty easily. It is about you opening up to yourself, so that you can open up to others. It bothers you so much because you repress it. Been there, down that.

I don't expect you to believe me. Your frontal lobe has another 4 years to fully develop anyway, so your judgment has a ways to go. But hopefully you will accepr the fullness of Fe and open yourself up to others, even casual acquaintances.

And dumping the grumpy face will make your life much better....

 

[Xann]

[MENTION=20474]OptoGypsy[/MENTION] I think you are a mistyped sx/so ESTP mistaking your focus on the inauthenticity of cultural greetings as Fe. If you were really an Ni/Fe user you would have a more laser-like ability to see through frivolity and semantics and detect the emotional sentiment underlying American customs, or at least the inherent mentality in which emotions and trust are distributed throughout the greater social sphere. I don't usually like to be so straightforward with my accusations of mistyping but it seems you may be one of the few to actually appreciate it.

 

[ceecee]

That much is obvious, I live in America. I know what I see and understand. Americans are friendly with one another and no one trusts one another unless it's a church community, and never the less trusting a friend is seen as naive even thought trust is the American Mantra. I'm talking about youth too, I myself am 21. Just some observations I've made. Pretending to be courteous, or feeling you need to do so because of societal norms only creates dishonesty and resentment.

Perhaps you should strongly consider leaving America for a more real environment. Church communities are the only trusting places? That's hilarious.

 

[Coriolis]

Why are Americans so fake? Fake Smiles, fake greetings, etc? "How are you" without meaning that shit, small talk is bullshit and a way to either wast time. They think they're being courteous with one another when in reality they are RUDE AS FUCK. People should be honest with another, and instead of pretending to care, show what is within themselves. why is such a small percentage real? Don't say because it's herd mentality and a fucking problem with self, e.g Russia is nothing like this. With Russians it's rude to be friendly with others because you don't know them giving them a perception of self preservation so they won't have to stab the person at a later date, no one asks "how are you" unless they know you, and it isn't a joke question but something to be taken seriously. This attitude creates a people that are loyal to one another.

During my brief time in Russia years ago, one thing that struck me is that people - including college students and other young people - appreciated the value of real conversation. Conversation with depth, beyond the pleasantries. Several of our get-togethers involved simply walking around the city for hours, discussing everything under the sun, and especially the different perspectives Americans and Russians had on the same topics. Most Americans I knew, especially young people, would have had no patience for that. The Russians also had an understanding and appreciation for great literature far beyond that of the average American.

Bottom line: I can see what you are saying, and have noticed similar trends myself.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Have you read the book the stranger. He was, and would be seen as a sociopath for being different.

He was seen as a monster because he did not defend himself or offer any reasoning for the murder he committed. He was a blank slate and he got no mercy from others for it. In the end, his death was empty to him as well and he gained no insight from it all. Absurdism.

This is classic Sartre shit. It would be better to truly understand someone through a cup of coffee/tea then to pretend and go on living your life. Pretending only has the person lie to themselves and the rest of society.

Don't get too caught up in the existential bullshit and please don't read Catcher In The Rye, until you've gotten a handle on basic social niceties. You might find your Bible and your religion in one and that has a history of not working out.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes when someone asks you how you are, you say 'doing great' and you move along even if you aren't. Not everyone has to or wants to go deeper. The US isn't Russia. So, there are different norms.

If you want to have deeper connection with people, you will have to be patient and build trust with others. This means going through some tedious motions.

Adapt.