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  1. #51
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    I blame everything on human nature that I don't understand... such as why some people act the way they do. The world is such a complex place that everyone we meet has such a unique understanding of their own surroundings. While I don't understand someone trying to goad me into going to a party, they don't understand why I don't want to go. If I take the time to think about it, I can put myself in their shoes and understand that person's viewpoint. But it just isn't that commonplace, in reality, for people in this world to take the time to see the situation from the other person's perspective. I'm really not certain that everyone even has the ability to think outside the box regularly.

    With that said, it would be nice if the world worked in terms of everyone always seeing the other side of the story, but it's just not going to happen. I've found, as I get older, that as people mature they do understand the subtleties of others points of view a bit more. I haven't been prodded as much since college or when I was younger to come out of my shell. I've met more independent mid 20ish, 30ish and later who, whether introverted or not, enjoy a more settled down lifestyle. Maybe this is due to me learning over time to only surround myself with people who will respect my space? or maybe it's just a maturity thing? Regardless, what I'm trying to say, is that I think the conflict between E/I fades a bit over time and with maturity, for reasons that I'm not exactly sure of.

  2. #52
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    It occurred to me over a period of time that many introverts are shy and nervous, even intimidated by many extraverts.

    But it seems they're mostly unaware that extraverts can find introverts incredibly intimidating too.

    Thoughts, anyone? Do you find your opposite difficult to approach or are you nervous of them, and if so or even if not, then why?
    Definitely true, at least at when first encountering someone. And, I've gotten comments from an extravert who's now my friend that she found my very intimidating at first because I didn't really say much, even when being talked to.
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  3. #53
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Is this because you think your school and life would not be interesting to the other person, or because you really don't have anything that you'd like to talk about, even if it's taken as read that the other person does want to hear it?
    I really don't think it's that interesting. I'm bored just talking about it. If it seems the person really wants to hear I'll be more willing to share, but if I get a sense of they're just doing small talk and don't care I'd rather not. I will make an effort, but I usually don't have anything to talk about. What I do no one usually wants to talk about like how a cloud looks or some theoretical endeavor that's never going to happen as it is not possible/ unlikely. Such as kidnapping an elephant and traveling around the world on it.

    I will bring it up sometimes but based on their reaction, I know when to back off and not talk about things like that. I'm less likely to bring something like that up first conversation.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #54
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    This is a common misunderstanding and since I've started to understand the root cause of it I've been able to adjust, however I do sometimes wonder why it's always me that has to do the adjusting and wouldn't mind if people made a little effort to meet half way...

    What it is, is that the E thinks the reason the I isn't talking is because they're nervous or don't feel at ease, or that nobody's said anything that's triggered the I's interest. So what the E might be doing is trying their damnedest to a) assure the I that they're welcome and that their contributions are valued and b) keep saying different stuff in the hopes the I will find something of interest and respond.

    The E doesn't know it, but he's making the I feel bombarded and like you describe nolla. But the I doesn't realise that by retreating further and further they're making the E feel like nothing they can do or say is of any interest, that they're seen as contemptible and not worth their time. Without realising it, the I is making the E feel very frustrated and even hurt, because as far as the E is concerned, if someone has something to say then why don't they just say it? And if they don't have anything to say and just don't feel like talking, why not just say that also? Why sit there and let me blabber on, boring you to death??

    It can seem to me like the number of 'requirements' for an introvert to actually speak, the circumstances that they seem to need in which they feel willing to share, open up or just participate at all, seems to sometimes be so specific and almost diva-like, a list of demands that are hard for the E to fulfill or even identify, and if we don't manage to get everything right for them then they just write us off and leave.
    Yeah, exactly. And that is what frustrates the hell out of me regarding Is. Jeez Louise folks - open your mouths. It ain't hard. And if you don't say anything, I cannot read what is going on in your brain. So I either think a) You feel uncomfy, and I want to help you to try to relax. b) You just don't give a shit or c) You are just retarded. In the case of b or c, I am likely to just move on and think, "What a dipshit! This person has a tree so far up their ass that there is no hope for them. And if they ARE so bright, why don't THEY introduce a topic?!"
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  5. #55
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    The reason why an introvert is afraid of the extrovert is obvious... too much bombardment, too much attempt to try to pry them away from their thoughts. For the extrovert, however, the introvert is not sharing anything... they're not getting any feedback, which scares them, because that's mostly what they've learned to respond to. Like walking around in the dark and never bumping into anything. If you at least bump into something, you at least know that there's something there...

    Well, it's a wild guess. When extroverts try to talk to me usually they get this stupid, 'deer-in-the-headlights' expression from me. A guess says that people when talking to me get the impression that I'm not very bright.
    What I don't understand is - what is the real problem? I mean - why is it so hard to step outside of your brain for a moment and interact with others? I'm not trying to be a snarky ass here, I'm serious. I just don't get it.
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  6. #56
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    What I don't understand is - what is the real problem? I mean - why is it so hard to step outside of your brain for a moment and interact with others? I'm not trying to be a snarky ass here, I'm serious. I just don't get it.
    It's a physiological (and difficult and awkward and exhausting) thing. Too much blood flow in the frontal lobes and the anterior thalamus.

  7. #57
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leysing View Post
    It's a physiological (and difficult and awkward and exhausting) thing. Too much blood flow in the frontal lobes and the anterior thalamus.
    Heh. Sounds like a weird variety of bird.

    Okay, I will take your word for it.
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  8. #58
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I have a question for the introverts here.

    Would you be content living your life as a hermit?
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  9. #59
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    It occurred to me over a period of time that many introverts are shy and nervous, even intimidated by many extraverts.

    But it seems they're mostly unaware that extraverts can find introverts incredibly intimidating too.

    Thoughts, anyone? Do you find your opposite difficult to approach or are you nervous of them, and if so or even if not, then why?
    This may sound a bit strange, but I'm easily intimidated by INFJs. I don't know. They just seem so contained and mysterious, and for some reason, I always expect that they're going to react in more adult manner than me on any subject from self-adhesive envelopes to spandex trademark infringement. They see some angle I don't, and then they might say it aloud, and then I'll be sitting there thinking, "Good point. I didn't see that" and everyone's nodding, "oh yes, INFJ person has done it again! how clever!"

    I feel like the drunk aunt with the skirt over her head.

    ISTJs and INFPs can be very intimidating for me too.

    I don't find most Es to be daunting.
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  10. #60
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Man, if I had to live my life like a hermit, I would pretend that there are people around me and would have imaginary conversations and stories and interactions with them just to prevent myself from going crazy.

    BAH! Life as a hermit - terrible.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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