What I mean is i don't prioritize my TIME according to personal feelings towards the people. I still have people I prefer to spend time with and when there's no other out-ranking demand on my time I'll choose to spend time with them when I can. But they kinda expect the friendship to make them automatically outrank most demands on my time, even if it's not anything particularly important that they want me for. I'm saying where I put my time doesn't correlate exactly to where I put my attachment and affection.
I don't think the expectation of myself is unrealistic at all, like I say it's second nature and I do it very naturally now. Sure it'd be easier if my friends could all be supportive of my commitment to my convictions rather than admiring it - until it means they are the ones I'm refusing special treatment for... haha... well then I wouldn't have to put up with their bitching, but you can't have everything. Most are supportive though, actually.Your commitment to the human race is certainly admirable, though. I just wonder if you're creating an expectation for yourself that is not strictly necessary, thereby making life harder for you?
I mean if I've achieved something good in myself I tend to see it as others' job to come 'up' to me in that respect, or not, but rather than mine to go 'down' to them, as it were... cos it's either that or I'm having to condescend and patronize, which I really can't do...
Yeah, me too. I've learned to figure out though how likely a person is to take my 'out of sight' as me having forgotten them, not care about them any more, not liking them or whatever. So with those people I make a special effort to keep in touch, it's so damned easy to just every week set aside half an hour to just make a couple of phone calls saying hi, how's it going, or send a bunch of quick e-mails to acknowledge them in my life... it's not like it's taking up all my time. I do spend an awful lot of time getting drunk and hanging out and doing fuck all ...people are pretty easy to appease, y'know, and it slashes my cost of living when I've got a friend who can give me a discount or whatever on just about anything I ever want to do!! lol it's not like I don't get anything in return for my effort. It's not why I do it, but yeah it is a real bonus!It's true, and I do try to make an effort to keep the friendship going, but I am also very out-of-sight, out-of-mind sometimes, too. I'm just not the kind of person that feels like i have to be in constant contact. If I don't hear from you, I don't assume that you're mad, etc. I just assume people are busy, and I am, too, and we'll get together sometime.