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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I would say it's definitely unusual. I would consider paying more attention to the friends with whom you have a deeper connection just a part of human nature. I would go crazy if I thought I had to give equal attention to every person I consider a friend. I just don't have that energy to give.
    Yeah I know it's unusual... I see it as myself having for once achieved something good though that most people don't, rather than the unusualness of it being a reason to 'go back' to how I was before.

    What I mean is i don't prioritize my TIME according to personal feelings towards the people. I still have people I prefer to spend time with and when there's no other out-ranking demand on my time I'll choose to spend time with them when I can. But they kinda expect the friendship to make them automatically outrank most demands on my time, even if it's not anything particularly important that they want me for. I'm saying where I put my time doesn't correlate exactly to where I put my attachment and affection.

    Your commitment to the human race is certainly admirable, though. I just wonder if you're creating an expectation for yourself that is not strictly necessary, thereby making life harder for you?
    I don't think the expectation of myself is unrealistic at all, like I say it's second nature and I do it very naturally now. Sure it'd be easier if my friends could all be supportive of my commitment to my convictions rather than admiring it - until it means they are the ones I'm refusing special treatment for... haha... well then I wouldn't have to put up with their bitching, but you can't have everything. Most are supportive though, actually.

    I mean if I've achieved something good in myself I tend to see it as others' job to come 'up' to me in that respect, or not, but rather than mine to go 'down' to them, as it were... cos it's either that or I'm having to condescend and patronize, which I really can't do...

    It's true, and I do try to make an effort to keep the friendship going, but I am also very out-of-sight, out-of-mind sometimes, too. I'm just not the kind of person that feels like i have to be in constant contact. If I don't hear from you, I don't assume that you're mad, etc. I just assume people are busy, and I am, too, and we'll get together sometime.
    Yeah, me too. I've learned to figure out though how likely a person is to take my 'out of sight' as me having forgotten them, not care about them any more, not liking them or whatever. So with those people I make a special effort to keep in touch, it's so damned easy to just every week set aside half an hour to just make a couple of phone calls saying hi, how's it going, or send a bunch of quick e-mails to acknowledge them in my life... it's not like it's taking up all my time. I do spend an awful lot of time getting drunk and hanging out and doing fuck all ...people are pretty easy to appease, y'know, and it slashes my cost of living when I've got a friend who can give me a discount or whatever on just about anything I ever want to do!! lol it's not like I don't get anything in return for my effort. It's not why I do it, but yeah it is a real bonus!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  2. #102
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    That's when you go: Shut up, you stupid deep all-knowing monk person!? [optional profanities]


    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    If a person wants me to call back, they should tell me that they want me to call sometime. I do not presume much of anything about what to do with a person, so I do nothing unless given permission + encouragement.
    Okay... I guess though I'd just take the fact that they call me as implied permission and encouragement to call them!

    All of this was assuming that I'm interested in the person involved. If I'm not, then they certainly can't expect that I will reciprocate their gifts. A person can't say to someone "I love you, now love me in return", it doesn't work that way.
    Agreed. I wouldn't be saying 'I love you' though lol I'd just be saying 'I think I dig you a bit, let's see if a friendship grows outta this'.

    Thing is I'm reactive too by preference, I'm a P too!! I don't like being the initiator and organizer!!! That's as much a chore for me as for you! That's why it sorta irritates me when someone uses introversion as an excuse to sorta delegate all the coming out of the comfort zone to me! lol

    Pink -
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  4. #104
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Okay... I guess though I'd just take the fact that they call me as implied permission and encouragement to call them!
    I really don't. It's not like I've never tried to take the initiative you know. I've had bad experiences.

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Agreed. I wouldn't be saying 'I love you' though lol I'd just be saying 'I think I dig you a bit, let's see if a friendship grows outta this'.
    The point remains.

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Thing is I'm reactive too by preference, I'm a P too!! I don't like being the initiator and organizer!!! That's as much a chore for me as for you! That's why it sorta irritates me when someone uses introversion as an excuse to sorta delegate all the coming out of the comfort zone to me! lol
    I above all else, I use me and my philosophy to justify what I'm doing, regardless of type. I spoke as a representative here because this topic was about Is and Es.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  5. #105
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    Heheh, that begs the question then, to whom is it most uncomfortable to initiate? The I or the EP? lol I think an argument could be made that with the P function being dominant, the EP should be more hesitant to be proactive, whilst with the Judging function dominant, the IP should be able to make decisions easier
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  6. #106
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    But I'll still give higher priority to an Introverted function, so there's less reason for me to be externally focused.

    Either way, I think things are more likely to work when someone else takes the initiative.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    But I'll still give higher priority to an Introverted function, so there's less reason for me to be externally focused.

    Either way, I think things are more likely to work when someone else takes the initiative.
    Sure, I sympathize with you, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying not being externally focused doesn't absolve a person from focusing from time to time on others' needs rather than their own 'self-preservation', and making the odd effort. As much as being extraverted can make a person prone to acting without proper reflection and sometimes inadvertently barging in unwelcome to someone's alone time, I think being introverted, internally focused and self-preservation focused can cause a person to be... well... selfish, from time to time.. which isn't really, y'know, good?

    I don't mean to pick on you dude, honestly, I think you're pretty cool actually. I'm just talking generally, trying to see some reason behind some people's behaviour that helps me in my struggle to not judge them as... selfish!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  8. #108
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Sure, I sympathize with you, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying not being externally focused doesn't absolve a person from focusing from time to time on others' needs rather than their own 'self-preservation', and making the odd effort. As much as being extraverted can make a person prone to acting without proper reflection and sometimes inadvertently barging in unwelcome to someone's alone time, I think being introverted, internally focused and self-preservation focused can cause a person to be... well... selfish, from time to time.. which isn't really, y'know, good?
    I'm more Intimate than Self-Preservational. My only way to advance on people is to open up my own personal world to them. My efforts to pursue others usually results in scaring them, I think.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  9. #109
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    I've noticed that extroverts can be intimidated by me. Especially as they can observe I'm not shy and I can be talkative on occasions, when they then see that I'm not as giving again it might confuse them in someway.

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    I'm more Intimate than Self-Preservational. My only way to advance on people is to open up my own personal world to them. My efforts to pursue others usually results in scaring them, I think.
    Haha, I can't imagine you being scary
    it's cool, I get where you're coming from. I'm not saying everyone has to go out and make friends with the entire human race' lol just y'know, like wondering why someone might feel intimidated from approaching someone they actually DO want to be friends with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lithium View Post
    I've noticed that extroverts can be intimidated by me. Especially as they can observe I'm not shy and I can be talkative on occasions, when they then see that I'm not as giving again it might confuse them in someway.
    Yeah, but ISTP's really are scary. One of my three closest friends is one and he still scares me sometimes
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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