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  1. #11
    Sniffles
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    Infinite questioning will get you nowhere, you'll only end up going in countless circles. As Descartes once stated, the point of any questioning is to actually reach a conclusion. Your conclusion maybe right or wrong, but you'll never fully know unless you actually walk down that path. If you're wrong, retrace your steps and use your experience to better find the right path.

  2. #12
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Is there any way the OP's demands on 'self' are too extreme for what actually is believable to them? trying to hold a POV that you know you can't place that much faith in eventually results in an internal clash/crash.
    Bingo. You've hit the nail on the head, I believe. I was PMing earlier today and I came to some conclusion along those lines. Over the past 5 or so years I've been through a lot dealing with my (now previous) faith, and I have always felt like it didn't quite fit. I remember going to church, and now that I look on it in retrospect, it seems like I just had an exoskeleton on and I was just playing the chameleon, trying to fit in with these beliefs that had to be correct. And with the denomination I was associated with, it was an "or else" kind of thing. (And, frankly, it wore the shit out of me.)

    Ultimately, there's some core part of my personality I believe, that doesn't really permit me to become lodged into one belief system. It's just utterly anathema to me. Therefore, trying to force myself to do that basically plugged my pipe, so to speak. I've been crashing ever since I started, and I realize that now, and I have been realizing it over the past few weeks and months. It's amazing how I got into something and never saw how contrary it was to the "real me" inside. And it's caused me a lot of pain (physically, mentally, emotionally) to try to conform. I'm also a heavy dreamer, and such a "defined" and rigorous faith doesn't really do me well. At the most, I think I should be spiritual in some way, if anything. Discordianism fits me, hehe. (I don't want to believe anything, I want to believe everything on some level, etc. If you're not familiar with the philosophy, here it is: Discordianism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

    Most recently, what I've been working through are the ideas that I /must/ believe this, or that I /must/ believe that. I've had a lot of requirement-oriented ideas that have found their way into my system, and it's been like shackles on me. I've worked through a lot of logic and it has taken a lot of time and effort, but I have yet to work through the emotional imprints that have persisted. (And I'm not sure exactly how.)

  3. #13
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I think skepticim and checking your beliefs about the world is a great way to gain wisdom. Maybe the reason you're losing sleep is because you're coming to face the fact that you've sacrificed a lot of yourself for the sake of an organized religion you never really chose. In that case, maybe your confusion is a necessary step in your personal development.

  4. #14
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    I think skepticim and checking your beliefs about the world is a great way to gain wisdom. Maybe the reason you're losing sleep is because you're coming to face the fact that you've sacrificed a lot of yourself for the sake of an organized religion you never really chose. In that case, maybe your confusion is a necessary step in your personal development.
    Again, exactly. I sacrificed my inner personality for something that wasn't really me, and I'm not sure how it really happened. Except that it was very uhm, externally magnetic if anyone can understand that? I know that when I was a kid, my definition of reality was the feeling I got by looking outside at twilight and feeling the emotionally charged atmosphere of the night, perhaps relating it to something I'd read, seen, or felt in some book of Fantasy, hehe. :0 Or something I'd seen in a game. So yeah, it is necessary confusion. Though I do wish I was through it already hehe . And it just reached the point where I was exploding and there was no way to shut down the skeptic thoughts. Kind of like a chain reaction.

    On a side note, if I had to describe my "inner self" as a color it'd probably be indigo or electric blue.

  5. #15
    Sniffles
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    Remember Socrates' saying that the wise man is one who knows he's ignorant. He even told the Oracle of Delphi he knew nothing.

  6. #16
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eldanen View Post
    Again, exactly. I sacrificed my inner personality for something that wasn't really me, and I'm not sure how it really happened. Except that it was very uhm, externally magnetic if anyone can understand that? I know that when I was a kid, my definition of reality was the feeling I got by looking outside at twilight and feeling the emotionally charged atmosphere of the night, perhaps relating it to something I'd read, seen, or felt in some book of Fantasy, hehe. :0 Or something I'd seen in a game. So yeah, it is necessary confusion. Though I do wish I was through it already hehe . And it just reached the point where I was exploding and there was no way to shut down the skeptic thoughts. Kind of like a chain reaction.

    On a side note, if I had to describe my "inner self" as a color it'd probably be indigo or electric blue.
    I get that completely. For me, it's something I usually enjoy when it comes to things that are theoretical or philosophical (god, reality, psychology). It gets to be a problem when it starts infecting my personal relationships (am I good enough, will she leave me, what's she thinking, what will I say next). When that happens, I give it a label or character (in your case, you might image an insatiable skeptic with a magnifying glass, perhaps) and just gently watch it all go by me, like I was watching traffic pass by. You'llfeel less compelled to answer and chase down all the inquiries you've ignited. The gentleness is a key aspect because otherwise you end up creating more disturbance. If you really don't enjoy it, you can try something like that, though I think it'll prolly just pass on its own.

  7. #17
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Didums View Post
    Questions need answers, you need to go buy some books about the subjects you are questioning.
    And on that note, someone name me some good science books with accurate information intelligently and interestingly presented . (Maybe stuff that you like personally?)

  8. #18
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eldanen View Post
    And on that note, someone name me some good science books with accurate information intelligently and interestingly presented . (Maybe stuff that you like personally?)
    The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science - Tom Bethell, certainly explores the ways science is often misused to serve political agendas.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science - Tom Bethell, certainly explores the ways science is often misused to serve political agendas.
    Tom Bethell is an evolution and HIV denying kook.

    Upping the Anti (Doubt and About)
    Yes, Virginia, There is a War on Science

  10. #20
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassafrassquatch View Post
    Tom Bethell is an evolution and HIV denying kook.
    Rather nice ad-hominem charade you got going here.

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