1 person in your life who has changed you the most

[Bilateral Entry]

Have you ever heard the saying that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Just how much influence does your inner circle have on you? Let's put it to the test.

I want to hear your stories on the 1 person in your life who has changed you the most, for better or for worse.

Also, if you like, share 1 event or experience that happened to you that made a big difference in who you are today.

 

[Chrysanthea]

I can't say I've learned much directly from any person I've come across in my own life... if anything, they have changed me by allowing me something to oppose. Everything my family values I have grown to despise, and I pretty much create my own values from within... from my own experiences. Though this is not a person who I have personally met, I believe that Siddhārtha Gautama has helped me more than anyone else in understanding who I want to be and how I want to live.

tl;dr: Society because it allows opposition and criticism, and possibly Buddha because his ways of living opened my eyes to true happiness.

 

[Bilateral Entry]

Naturally, I should go first.

I first met my wife 3.4 years ago. I wasn't really that big of a goober douchebag back then, but I wasn't winning any congeniality pageants, that's for sure. Since you all know MBTI, I'll tell you that she's an INFJ. She's always coming around with all her gay feelings and shit. Sigh. The most noticeable impact she had on me is that my conversation ability has SKYROCKETED. You talk to someone for hours everyday, you get pretty good at talking. Just by mere virtue of having a good companion, I didn't feel lonely anymore, my depression magically vanished, and I became the kind, gentle, caring, and incredibly funny person you see before you. Oh and modest. I also used to be really sarcastic as well. Seriously though, a good companion will solve SO many problems.

I heard somewhere, a psychologist said that when his clients have depression, there are 3 factors that are a huge predictor of whether they'll recover: 1. Are they in a happy romantic relationship? 2. Are they addicted to drugs? 3. Do they have a job? He says that if they're single, addicted to drugs, and have no job, they're fucked. Well, he put it a little more eloquently than that. But he recommends to his clients to try to spark a romantic relationship, kick the habit (much more difficult than it sounds, but where there's a will there's a way), and to find a job. Not necessarily an ideal job, but the least objectionable job to start with.

I totes digressed there. Sorry about that. As you can see, my improved conversation skills also cause me to ramble a bit

The one event that changed me the most, was that I was fired. I worked in a big bank, fresh out of university, and I was an arrogant prick. I got my bachelor's, I'm the fucking shit now. Yeah! Y'all betta respect meh! Nonononononononononononono. Got a few kicks in the ass, then was showed the door. They paid a handsome severance though, lol! If I hadn't been fired, I have no idea where I'd be, or what I would be doing right now. I might still be working there.

 

[Xann]

I remember you briefly from vent (lol), and I just want to say that I'm glad to hear things have worked out for you since then.

 

[BadOctopus]

For me, I think the person who had the most influence on me was my junior high school English teacher. He wasn't exactly charismatic or inspirational like Robin Williams's character in Dead Poets' Society. In fact, he was one of the most irascible curmudgeons I've ever known. But, he was the first teacher I ever had who saw my potential and encouraged me to reach it. I had always loved reading, but I hadn't really been challenging myself. He noticed that, and gave me a list of classics to read, and then write reports on each of them when I'd finished. I was just... blown away. No one had ever encouraged me to read the classics before, so I never knew that books could be so... life-changing.

I'll never forget what he said to me when he handed me back my report on Great Expectations. He said, "Your observations and insights are keener than most of the adults I know. You should be teaching this class." However, he also said he was disappointed in me, because I was hiding my intelligence in an effort to fit in. And he was right. After that, I resolved not to dumb myself down even if it meant being unpopular, and to let nothing stop me from reaching my true potential.

Good old Mr. Mahedy. I loved that old grouch.

 

[EcK]

What? No one said Jesus yet?

 

[EcK]

Naturally, I should go first.

I first met my wife 3.4 years ago. I wasn't really that big of a goober douchebag back then, but I wasn't winning any congeniality pageants, that's for sure. Since you all know MBTI, I'll tell you that she's an INFJ. She's always coming around with all her gay feelings and shit. Sigh. The most noticeable impact she had on me is that my conversation ability has SKYROCKETED. You talk to someone for hours everyday, you get pretty good at talking. Just by mere virtue of having a good companion, I didn't feel lonely anymore, my depression magically vanished, and I became the kind, gentle, caring, and incredibly funny person you see before you. Oh and modest. I also used to be really sarcastic as well. Seriously though, a good companion will solve SO many problems.

I heard somewhere, a psychologist said that when his clients have depression, there are 3 factors that are a huge predictor of whether they'll recover: 1. Are they in a happy romantic relationship? 2. Are they addicted to drugs? 3. Do they have a job? He says that if they're single, addicted to drugs, and have no job, they're fucked. Well, he put it a little more eloquently than that. But he recommends to his clients to try to spark a romantic relationship, kick the habit (much more difficult than it sounds, but where there's a will there's a way), and to find a job. Not necessarily an ideal job, but the least objectionable job to start with.

I totes digressed there. Sorry about that. As you can see, my improved conversation skills also cause me to ramble a bit

The one event that changed me the most, was that I was fired. I worked in a big bank, fresh out of university, and I was an arrogant prick. I got my bachelor's, I'm the fucking shit now. Yeah! Y'all betta respect meh! Nonononononononononononono. Got a few kicks in the ass, then was showed the door. They paid a handsome severance though, lol! If I hadn't been fired, I have no idea where I'd be, or what I would be doing right now. I might still be working there.

Why did you get fired?

Btw it's nice to hear someone facing up to being fired. Ppl tend not to except if they feel it might make them look good or worthy of sympathy

In general

what do u do now

 

[Bilateral Entry]

Why did you get fired?

Btw it's nice to hear someone facing up to being fired. Ppl tend not to except if they feel it might make them look good or worthy of sympathy

In general

what do u do now

People tend to connect more with honesty and genuineness, so I just say whateverthefuck.

I've done a few different things since then, but nothing's really sticking. I did up to (and including) level 2 of the Chartered Financial Analyst exams, then I became a paramedic, then I did construction safety, then I did first year science at college (straight A+'s, AYYOOO). I'm currently set to do 2nd year biochemistry at a good school starting September, but I think I'm gonna drop out before it starts. I live apart from my wife, and I need to save up some money so I can relocate and be with her.

 

[baccheion]

No one has ever had a strongly positive effect on me. It's always patronage, someone trying to get me to conform, or trying to screw me over while incessantly trying to say they're just trying to help. The only thing I've done in life is steadily get worse. I'm at an all time low, I keep sinking lower, and soon there'll be nothing left but the shit everyone has always tried to say I am. Every suggestion anyone makes ends up being bullshit, every attempt to "help" me (always forcing it in, as I didn't ask for any) ends up being more thinly veiled BS, etc. Every attempt I make to get away from these idiots or to get around something else fails, and I end up right back around the same garbage. Everywhere I go it's the same. And the only thing after are a bunch of idiots saying once again that it's therefore me, and trying to force their way in to try to force in more bullshit.

 

[Bilateral Entry]

For me, I think the person who had the most influence on me was my junior high school English teacher. He wasn't exactly charismatic or inspirational like Robin Williams's character in Dead Poets' Society. In fact, he was one of the most irascible curmudgeons I've ever known. But, he was the first teacher I ever had who saw my potential and encouraged me to reach it. I had always loved reading, but I hadn't really been challenging myself. He noticed that, and gave me a list of classics to read, and then write reports on each of them when I'd finished. I was just... blown away. No one had ever encouraged me to read the classics before, so I never knew that books could be so... life-changing.

I'll never forget what he said to me when he handed me back my report on Great Expectations. He said, "Your observations and insights are keener than most of the adults I know. You should be teaching this class." However, he also said he was disappointed in me, because I was hiding my intelligence in an effort to fit in. And he was right. After that, I resolved not to dumb myself down even if it meant being unpopular, and to let nothing stop me from reaching my true potential.

Good old Mr. Mahedy. I loved that old grouch.

What effect did his actions have on you? Did you start doing things differently?

 

[SpankyMcFly]

My oldest daughter. She didn't change me so much as I changed for her and eventually my younger daughter as well. I had gotten quite used to the idea that I was never going to have kids, I mean they're quite similar to parasites when you think about it, always wanting, needing of your time/money/resources and they are pretty helpless... Then you gotta be constantly vigilant lest they find a way to get themselves hurt or killed. Yeah, I was cool with not having kids.

Once I knew my first child was on the way I put on my game face and got down to work. I read just about anything related to parenting as well as much self help & psychology books in an effort to up my 'father' game. Now that I was going to have skin in the game, life became more serious and much more meaningful as well. While I had a 'social' conscious it grew even more since I was going to have to teach a lil human being how to navigate the world and make their way in life.

I had quite the dysfunctional upbringing myself and needed to also spend time on myself and address internal matters. In this regards I've grown the most. In teaching my daughters what 'love' is I also began to heal myself of wounds I had thought were lain to rest. In a way my daughters are therapy. Every time I give them a mischievous twinkle & smile, a soft touch, hug or a kind words not only am I doing my 'job' but I endlessly rehabilitate myself. The cycle stops with me.

However in the likely scenario (don't all kids emulate or polarize with their parents in some way?) I did/do something 'off' I think I'm going to set aside an IRA for each of them so that when they hit their early 20s they can use it to get a tune up with a therapist , just in case.

 

[ceecee]

In all honesty, I'd have to say my husband. I turned down his proposals more than once, I didn't want his help, I did NOT appreciate his ENFJ pushiness, I didn't appreciate him trying to make me into a less introverted person.... I didn't want to change. I didn't want to open up emotionally and I certainly didn't want to grow. Well, I did do all those things.

I'm only talking about the positive things he did for me, I'm not even talking about what he did for my kids or all of us as a family unit. He made me a better person, period. I'm more empathic and understanding than I was before. I listen to people with more enthusiasm for what they are saying. Fortunately he isn't a super extroverted E, this helps. I knew I would have to be vulnerable to some degree if our relationship had any hope of surviving, he was understanding with my baby steps. He had vulnerability too so maybe it was just as cathartic for him. He's never tried to change me - only to improve the areas I needed to improve. And he was very happy to have a person who had his back. I have a strong need to protect the people I love but I had to be careful not to offend his masculinity. He just wants to know I'm there. And I am. It isn't a perfect relationship, those don't exist. But it's real good.

 

[Mademoiselle]

Nonone really, I worked my way through all the people who were either helpless or trouvle makers.
Distraction.

I learnt from things not people.

Sad isn't it?
Anyway, I've learnt, anyway.

 

[Codex]

My sister.
She taught me what people truly are capable of.
She taught me independence, strength, determination, and believing in myself. She taught me I can achieve anything I set my mind too. To believe In myself, and to have a mind of my own. Without her, I would not be where I am today.

I owe her everything.

 

[Poki]

I learned the most from my parents. Both listening to them and also watching them and learning.

 

[Kas]

The first person who had influence on me was my sister. I spent a lot of time with her. We have very different characters... She is very charismatic and it could make me a little bit more shy. On the other hand she has amazing imagination and I think it could made me more creative she also made me more disciplined and thanks to her I'm not the most wastful person in the world ( I had potential). And I made a great effort to be half as smart as she is
Edit: Important thing, she taught me how to share

Second was my fantastic teacher in classes 2-3 of primary school. I have never met other person who believed in me so much. It gave me a lot of courage later. She was the most tolerant and caring person I knew. Also creative and innovative. I wanted to be just like her.

 

[EcK]

People tend to connect more with honesty and genuineness, so I just say whateverthefuck.

I've done a few different things since then, but nothing's really sticking. I did up to (and including) level 2 of the Chartered Financial Analyst exams, then I became a paramedic, then I did construction safety, then I did first year science at college (straight A+'s, AYYOOO). I'm currently set to do 2nd year biochemistry at a good school starting September, but I think I'm gonna drop out before it starts. I live apart from my wife, and I need to save up some money so I can relocate and be with her.

Oh? That a bummer.
How come you guys are living appart?

- - - Updated - - -

My sister.
She taught me what people truly are capable of.
She taught me independence, strength, determination, and believing in myself. She taught me I can achieve anything I set my mind too. To believe In myself, and to have a mind of my own. Without her, I would not be where I am today.

I owe her everything.

Is it prison? Are you in prison?

 

[Codex]

Is it prison? Are you in prison?

You picked up on the negative relationship well!

 

[Bilateral Entry]

Oh? That a bummer.
How come you guys are living appart?

- - - Updated - - -



Is it prison? Are you in prison?

Because we met on an internet forum :O not this one

 

[ceecee]

Because we met on an internet forum :O not this one

Did you get married by proxy?