I don't really have anything to be upset about, but I still feel depressed.

[Avocado]

I took a 30 minute walk today (still sore from the jog Monday, so I took it easy) and I felt elation listening to the birds sing their song and the rising sun. I admired how easily the birds took flight and how the morning light illuminated the dogwoods, their white flowers pinkish in the dawn. I then went to a diner alone and indulged myself in some food. I don't know, something about when they asked if I was there alone got me down a little. I don't have anything to really complain about, but I still felt depressed as soon as my emotional high during my walk died down. Now I just feel desolate and lonely, but I couldn't tell you why. I'm a little early for work today, so I'm just killing a few minutes in my car before I head in. I've learned being too early is just as bad as showing up late, so I have a good 10 minutes to do whatever.

 

[Olm the Water King]

What you describe is very similar to the feelings of emptiness I've dealt with for much of my life, and have only recently begun to understand and overcome. They're only a part of a whole plethora of interconnected unpleasant emotions and thoughts I've had, but probably the most painful and also the hardest to understand and overcome. I've really had to dig deep into myself to make some sense of it all, and to break down some of the defense mechanisms I've built for various purposes, mechanisms that might have served me well a long time ago, but have become maladaptive.

I'm not sure I want to say more about it in public though.

 

[Noon]

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to really know someone - know, like instinctually, and not simply comprehend, intellectually, because thus far my feeling is almost always that the friends I make are casual to the point of familiar stranger, like I'm playing a role and they enjoy me for something surface-level like my 'silliness,' which is not how I see my own self dominantly. That can sometimes make being with others feel lonely.

Somewhere around here, I read that it's better to get to know someone through activity and that shared history will ultimately build the sense of 'knowing' I'm looking for. So, it might all have a disproportionate amount to do with where I'm sampling; in the place I live I think the only setting I'd find people to genuinely connect with again either in activity or psychology would be on campus.

Very patience.

 

[Avocado]

What you describe is very similar to the feelings of emptiness I've dealt with for much of my life, and have only recently begun to understand and overcome. They're only a part of a whole plethora of interconnected unpleasant emotions and thoughts I've had, but probably the most painful and also the hardest to understand and overcome. I've really had to dig deep into myself to make some sense of it all, and to break down some of the defense mechanisms I've built for various purposes, mechanisms that might have served me well a long time ago, but have become maladaptive.
I'm not sure I want to say more about it in public though.

Let's private message on this.

 

[Frosty]

No I think I understand where you are coming from. I often wonder if there is more to life than what is around us. Why people are just able to keep moving, going through the motions, engaging in trivialities, and I don't know... Just not caring in the way that they fully could. Or maybe you just cannot care enough, and that makes me sad. It feels greedy, that this world, with all of the amazing things that it provides, just sometimes feels as if it is missing something improtant. That people are missing something imprtant, and that I am missing something important. Why can't we care about everything? It just seems unfair, to be shown this fake world, this way to live your life, and then realize at the end of the day everything is just a distraction and that we are all alone. Don't want to get more morbid than that right here. Anyways, I get it, or at least I try to.

 

[Tellenbach]

The birds' chirping is triggered by increasing oxygen levels which occurs as plants start to respire at sunrise.

The depression could be due to a host of factors, but I'd start by increasing Vitamin D3 levels since that is very easy to accomplish.

Vitamin D Deficiency and Depression

Another extremely promising small test was conducted on three severely depressed women, ages 42 to 66; all with a vitamin D deficiency. For 12 weeks they were given oral Vitamin D supplements, bringing their levels to normal. All three reported feeling much better and markedly less depressed.

 

[Avocado]

No I think I understand where you are coming from. I often wonder if there is more to life than what is around us. Why people are just able to keep moving, going through the motions, engaging in trivialities, and I don't know... Just not caring in the way that they fully could. Or maybe you just cannot care enough, and that makes me sad. It feels greedy, that this world, with all of the amazing things that it provides, just sometimes feels as if it is missing something improtant. That people are missing something imprtant, and that I am missing something important. Why can't we care about everything? It just seems unfair, to be shown this fake world, this way to live your life, and then realize at the end of the day everything is just a distraction and that we are all alone. Don't want to get more morbid than that right here. Anyways, I get it, or at least I try to.

I understand you.

 

[Avocado]

The birds' chirping is triggered by increasing oxygen levels which occurs as plants start to respire at sunrise.

The depression could be due to a host of factors, but I'd start by increasing Vitamin D3 levels since that is very easy to accomplish.

Vitamin D Deficiency and Depression

If there is a biological cause I can stop, great.

 

[Tellenbach]

If there is a biological cause I can stop, great.

All emotion and mood is chemistry. You just have to identify the improper chemistry and see if it can be fixed.

 

[Avocado]

All emotion and mood is chemistry. You just have to identify the improper chemistry and see if it can be fixed.

Another thing could be low testosterone, though I only suspect this and haven't tested it, yet. There's also the whole "common sense" thing everybody says I don't have. I'm not sure where you learn that.