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  1. #51
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    When I called the police the officer laughed and said the man had already called them to report my verbal "attack" on him and added that they had received several other phone calls that day from other women.
    Just hearing that makes me want to kick the snot out of him. Belligerent galling freak. Proud of you for taking charge, girl. You knew better and you weren't out off by his desperate maneuvers. You played it smart and cool.

    Good job, Anja.

    Did the police ever file charges against this man? Was he a predator?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #52
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I was nearly kidnapped once on my own street. Granted, I lived in a VERY bad neighborhood, but nothing like that had happened to me before.

    I, my sis and two girlfriends were walking to my house. I was up front with my ISTJ friend, Mae, and Sis was behind several paces with Mary. Suddenly a car - a Safety Cab, ironically named.... - came roaring up beside us, with three men in it. The doors to the front and back flew open, and I heard them shouting leeringly to get in. I was walking to the outside and the doors almost hit me. One of the guys started to make a grab for me. I was so stunned that I froze, but Mae shouted "No!", seized me and flung me behind her into a ditch.

    The evil perverts sped off when my next door neighbors - a bunch of construction workers - came flying up behind them in a Torino. "Did they hurt you?? Did they say anything?? GIRLS, RUN HOME NOW...." and then they tore off after them. They didn't catch them.

    I remember lying in the ditch with Mae standing over me. "You saved me!" I said.

    "Nobody snatches MY friend!" she snapped. (haha, love that ISTJ "bring it, fool" attitude)
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #53
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    It's good to be able to find a chuckle in the grimmest of stories and my INFP-ness shines through. You made me laugh, Pink.

    I did go home and search the directory of phone numbers to find that he lived and worked in a town twenty miles away.

    Edit: I wrote the Department of Motorized Vehicles.

    Since then I have sometimes wondered what finally happened but haven't been willing to give that person any more of my time and energy than I can spare.

    I'm in mind of how tremendous the power of that incident has been, though.

    The pond was a place I had frequented for over twenty years. Sometimes with others, sometimes alone. It was a special place of rest and recuperation for me.

    For several years thereafter I found myself avoidant of wanting to spend time alone there anymore.

    Now I have overcome that man's influence on enjoyment of my leisure time and frequent the pond at my choice. Nonetheless there isn't ever a time I go when I don't have a flashback of what possible danger I was/could be in. I know other women here can relate to that.

    A secondary thought is the remembrance of the policeman's laughter. Yes. There was ironic and predictable humor in a man blaming the woman. I got that part and laughed along. In retrospect, I can admit some sense of confusion about how seriously he was taking my observations.
    Last edited by Anja; 08-20-2008 at 02:21 PM. Reason: Memory error
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #54
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Boys will be boys?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #55
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Boys will be boys?
    The cop's humor is both understandable AND inappropriate. Sounds like he needed sensitivity training. Most cops are hard people, mostly due to the unpleasantness of their jobs, but come on.

    That was not the best reaction and while it may have derived from "this wackjob is too much, eh?" consternation, I wouldn't be laughing if "many other women" had called to report this same man. Why on earth was he allowed to continue this behavior when he'd been reported multiple times in ONE DAY? That to me is unforgivable. The police should have dispatched to your location well before you ever had to call and add your justifiable complaint to the other ones.

    I called the police once because I was home alone at midnight and was being harassed by a drunk transient on my front porch. My neighborhood was atrocious. Lived there almost 20 years. Got desensitized to the violence and rot largely, but not entirely. Someone showed up on my doorstep when I was home alone again (avoided this home alone-ness like the plague or kept the dogs in the house to defend me) pounding and pounding on my door. I wound up down in the hallway away from the open windows (dead of summer....) until the cops showed. I got a belligerent officer who fussed ME out for calling. I still have no idea why. He just laid into me as if *I* were the perpetrator.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #56
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    Anja, thank you for sharing your story. I agree - it takes some men awhile to understand how a woman feels when she's being sexually harrassed. Parenthood often does it.

    There are even judges who don't understand why a woman would want a restraining order against a guy. "Can't you just talk to him?"

    Where were you a librarian?
    Busy, busy mind here this afternoon. There are so many angles to approach this from.

    I trust you Thinkers will help me stay focussed. . .

    Your comment about judges is appreciated, Jae.

    Once in a meeting of various public health care disciplines I heard a "prestigious" psychiatrist from the U of M go into a rant about why did people think that incest was necessarily an unpleasant experience for a child. Yes! I did witness that.

    My colleagues and I sat in stony silence, cowed by his obvious superior position to ours and job security in mind, no doubt.

    He ended his blathering with the comment that even addressing the issue just breaks up families.

    I suddenly was aware of more information about this man's private life than I cared to know.

    With "helpers" like these from where is our social direction to come? (Frood rears his ugly head once again.)
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #57
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Horrifying!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #58
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I've got a list of them. .

    All similar examples of the shambles which our Social Services have become. Same old, same old. Used to nearly drive me to tears.

    One of many reasons why this discussion is germane.

    Others? Societal/sexual attitudes shared by males Inadequate parenting by fathers. Uneducated parenting by mothers. Our oblivion about how the language we use can reinforce harmful behaviors. Fear of lawsuits. The media. Testosterone. (Yeah. I know I know.)
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #59
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Once in a meeting of various public health care disciplines I heard a "prestigious" psychiatrist from the U of M go into a rant about why did people think that incest was necessarily an unpleasant experience for a child. Yes! I did witness that.
    They used to talk like that here too, until we started putting them in jail.

    And even more tragically, they excused Aboriginal men of child sexual abuse on the grounds of cultural difference. This destroyed the sense of self and the lives of many Aboriginal children.

    But just recently we have awoken from this dream of the Noble Savage - we have awoken from this Romantic, anti-Enlightenment dream and sent in the Army, the Police, the Prosecutors and medical workers backed by both sides of Parliament and billions of dollars.

    The Enlightenment has had three great successes - the Abolition of Institutionalised Slavery by the House of Commons in 1833, the Emancipation of Women in the Twentieth Century and the enforcing of the laws against child sexual abuse today.

    Always remembering the Enlightenment has its enemies - the Romantic Movement and the myth of the Noble Savage, the New Age Movement and MBTI, and Islam.

    The Enlightenment has given us everything we value in the Modern World but at the cost of some stress which we try to relieve by turning back to the irrational.

    This is why we find it hard to resist the Romantic Movement, the New Age Movement, and why Islam is on the rise.

    Each and everyone of them is irrational and anti-Enlightenment.

  10. #60
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry to hear of these things that happen and am very encouraged by all of your strength.

    A tip for getting in/out of your car when it is dark out:
    -as you're walking up to your car, make sure to scan underneath the car. Also make sure to peek in the backseat before getting in. Those two places are the amongst the most common but least announced places for a predator to hide.

    On a news program about a year ago there was a segment that showed the reactions of little girls vs. little boys drinking heavily salted lemonade. Not one little girl made a complaint about the lemonade, but kept on drinking when it was obvious on their little faces that it was horrid. Some little girls even accepted another glass when it was offered to them.

    The boys for the most part, flat out said the lemonade was not good or even proclaimed loudly how gross it was.

    I can't remember what channel or program it was on, but I was hoping to find it on youtube.
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

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