Women, "Play Nice" and the Danger Instinct

[disregard]

Also, a panic button on your car keys is a handy thing to have.

You press it and the lights start flashing and the alarm goes off.

I use it to find my car sometimes.

 

[Domino]

Also, a panic button on your car keys is a handy thing to have.

You press it and the lights start flashing and the alarm goes off.

I use it to find my car sometimes.

I saw something of the sort advertised for what, BMW? Anyone remember? A heartbeat detector alerting you to someone hiding in your car.

lol @ locater function... that's using the ol' noodle!

 

[Anja]

So. A lull.

Anybody want to take this into the way we use language to perpetuate the problem posited?

 

[Mole]

So. A lull.

Anybody want to take this into the way we use language to perpetuate the problem posited?

Boyfriends have many uses.

One is as an unpaid bodyguard.

 

[Domino]

So. A lull.

Anybody want to take this into the way we use language to perpetuate the problem posited?

"Play nice" language is the worst.

There was this guy who was stalking me and my sister, and I mean stalking us across town. He'd follow our car and sometimes pop up in places we were totally not expecting him. I was taught to be polite but firm (which is good form generally), but this guy was just crowding us and acting creepy and would NOT go away. One night, me, my sis and a bunch of our guy friends (including a guy J was dating) were at a pool hall, and Stalker Guy came in, stood at the front of the room. I spotted him before he spotted us and blanched. He turned, saw us, and waved in this pointed way like "You have to acknowledge me. I know where you are and I can find you." J's boyfriend almost had at him, but Stalker Guy left immediately. We had to be walked out to our car that night, and we still didn't feel safe. If he could find us there, he could find our house easily. He lived nearby.

Finally, he showed up on our porch AGAIN - my mom and my sister had each told him off at separate points - and we were in the middle of a family argument. He showed up, I saw him on the porch, I stomped out outside and hissed, "What the **** do you want?!" He stood there in silence, began to stammer something, and I told him to get the **** out. TWICE. He looked at me like I was being rude. The irony. I mean, I was practically in his face growling and standing my hackles up. It was so primal, and HATED him.

I would laugh if it hadn't been so awful. I actually beat myself up over being rude after that exchange! Can you believe that? He deserved a boot to the head and got off easy, and I was still automatically upset with MYSELF for being so acid.

 

[Anja]

Thanks, Pink.

I'm thinking in a different dirrection. Your story speaks loudly to the fear "nice" people have about using big guns when they are called for.

Off to swim and ponder.

I'd someday like to talk about what I mentioned - street talk being full of casual sexual brutalities. And how that may be lowering peoples' resistence to brutal acts.

Maybe a separate thread is called for?

Later.

 

[Algora J]

"Play nice" language is the worst.

There was this guy who was stalking me and my sister, and I mean stalking us across town. He'd follow our car and sometimes pop up in places we were totally not expecting him. I was taught to be polite but firm (which is good form generally), but this guy was just crowding us and acting creepy and would NOT go away. One night, me, my sis and a bunch of our guy friends (including a guy J was dating) were at a pool hall, and Stalker Guy came in, stood at the front of the room. I spotted him before he spotted us and blanched. He turned, saw us, and waved in this pointed way like "You have to acknowledge me. I know where you are and I can find you." J's boyfriend almost had at him, but Stalker Guy left immediately. We had to be walked out to our car that night, and we still didn't feel safe. If he could find us there, he could find our house easily. He lived nearby.

Finally, he showed up on our porch AGAIN - my mom and my sister had each told him off at separate points - and we were in the middle of a family argument. He showed up, I saw him on the porch, I stomped out outside and hissed, "What the **** do you want?!" He stood there in silence, began to stammer something, and I told him to get the **** out. TWICE. He looked at me like I was being rude. The irony. I mean, I was practically in his face growling and standing my hackles up. It was so primal, and HATED him.

I would laugh if it hadn't been so awful. I actually beat myself up over being rude after that exchange! Can you believe that? He deserved a boot to the head and got off easy, and I was still automatically upset with MYSELF for being so acid.

Hmmmm. You sound like a celebrity or something being stalked by the paparazzi.

 

[Domino]

Hmmmm. You sound like a celebrity or something being stalked by the paparazzi.

I had my little Zsa Zsa Gabor fist raised and waiting to punch!

That guy also showed up at my place of employment. I was working in the back at a deli, in charge of the delivery staff. Sis was out front with our bf Athena. Stalker Dude showed up, Athena took one look at him, shoved Sis off behind her and proceeded to chew him out. Never tick off an ENTJ.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

GABRIELLE UNION - RAPE VICTIM UNION URGES WOMEN TO TRUST THEIR INSTINCTS

Women should take up self-defense. I do Kung Fu. There are some women there who do it too. It really does build inner strength. I used to be a wimp. Four years of Kung Fu has given me the inner strength to push back with force if I feel it is necessary. I very rarely have to do that, but sometimes I will when someone is acting like a moron and tries take advantage of my good nature. It never even gets physical, it doesn't have to.

Also worth considering a stun gun. You can get them shaped like cellphones these days. But be careful. You don't want to end up in the situation where an attacker takes if off you. That's why self-defense is worth considering.

 

[Domino]

Self-defense classes are something Sis and I have been discussing for some time.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Self-defense classes are something Sis and I have been discussing for some time.

I've been doing Shaolin kung fu, but it's kind of artsy. They do teach some self-defense, but I would prefer to try something a bit more technical--I want to spend much more time learning techniques. I think I will try Wing Chun next--Bruce Lee Kung Fu.

 

[Domino]

A friend of ours does kick-boxing which maximizes a woman's strong lower body.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

A friend of ours does kick-boxing which maximizes a woman's strong lower body.

Just teach women to do this and there will be no more rape:

YouTube - Very rare fight shaolin kung fu vs. Karate

A friend of ours does kick-boxing which maximizes a woman's strong lower body.

Yes, that would be ideal for a woman. Tae-Kwon-Do too. Your legs are your strongest muscles and women usually have excellent flexibility. But you'll have to do a heck of a lot of kicking to make it worthwhile.

 

[Jae Rae]

Just teach women to do this and there will be no more rape:

YouTube - Very rare fight shaolin kung fu vs. Karate

Fascinating. I watched the video and then another Shaolin demonstration. I'd love to be able to move that gracefully.

 

[sciski]

Gotta say, Wing Chun is probably one of the best options. They teach you to maximise your force and speed and also deflect incoming attacks as opposed to meet them using force. This helps if you are smaller than your opponent. Wing Chun was also developed by a woman.

Also, whenever I read this thread, I feel the urge to FLY YOU AND YOUR SISTER OUT OF THERE PINK!! Argh!! *kicks your place of residence, or at least the creepy men there*

 

[Mole]

Thanks, Pink.

I'm thinking in a different dirrection. Your story speaks loudly to the fear "nice" people have about using big guns when they are called for.

Off to swim and ponder.

I'd someday like to talk about what I mentioned - street talk being full of casual sexual brutalities. And how that may be lowering peoples' resistence to brutal acts.

Maybe a separate thread is called for?

Later.

Yes, my dear sister, was stopped coming home at night in the dark by rapist. She immediately resisted and threatened to smash his face with a milk bottle and he ran off. She returned home shaken but safe because she resisted.

I have also been stopped by a criminal when I was alone. It was apparent to me that he was skilled in immediately taking control of his victim. And my first impulse was to be polite and go along with him. But I resisted my impulse and didn't let him control my feelings or actions. And I escaped.

What struck me was how skilled he was in provoking and controlling my feelings. In fact he used my feelings against me. So it was by restraining my ordinary natural feelings that allowed me to remain in control.

My criminal was emotionally intelligent in this situation. However the mark of emotional intelligence is restraint. So it turned out that I was more emotionally intelligent than my attacker.

Also I have been taught to box so I have been trained to keep my eyes open when I am being hit in the face.

So I would suggest, for both men and women, that they learn physical self defence.

And I would even more strongly suggest that we learn emotional intelligence by learning emotional restraint.

Also emotional intelligence can also be learnt by not letting anyone put you into a trance against your will. For this is what the attacker will do - he or she will use induction techniques to put you in a trance so they can control you.

Unfortunately MBTI also uses induction techniques, such as jargon, to put you in a trance. So MBTI trains us to enter a particular type of trance, let's call it the MBTI trance. This is a similar technique used by other cults - it distracts the mind with repetitive jargon so that a trance may be induced.

And unfortunately most members here use MBTI to emotionally manipulate others. And the sad truth is that those who manipulate are easily manipulated themselves.

And last but not least, the casual sexual brutalities of the street also induce a trance, which makes us easier to control by those who wish to use us for their own purposes.

Hmmmm. You sound like a celebrity or something being stalked by the paparazzi.

This is a good example of blaming the victim.

So the right thing to do is to resist the suggestion of Algora J.

And if I were a moderator, I would ban him or her for a period to make it plain that we will resist.

 

[helen]

Unfortunately MBTI also uses induction techniques, such as jargon, to put you in a trance. So MBTI trains us to enter a particular type of trance, let's call it the MBTI trance. This is a similar technique used by other cults - it distracts the mind with repetitive jargon so that a trance may be induced.

And unfortunately most members here use MBTI to emotionally manipulate others. And the sad truth is that those who manipulate are easily manipulated themselves.

Like, so what do you mean by this? How might MBTI be used to manipulate others? What would an "MBTI trance" look like?

Just curious.

 

[Algora J]

Stalker Dude showed up, Athena took one look at him, shoved Sis off behind her and proceeded to chew him out. Never tick off an ENTJ.

Agreed..or at least an ENTJ who has seniority! Of course, I always think male ENTJs are sort of cute when they're angry.

Watching very composed and calm men suddenly become enraged at something is sort of humorously sexy at times.

 

[Mole]

Just Curious?

Like, so what do you mean by this? How might MBTI be used to manipulate others? What would an "MBTI trance" look like?

Just curious.

If you ask open ended questions, it gives the impression you might be interested in the reply.

But if you ask closed questions, it looks like you want to be controlling and manipulative.

And you have asked closed questions above.

Of course you don't have to ask questions at all, you can just say what you think - but that would make you vulnerable.

And to protect your vulnerability, you try to control me with closed questions.

And you hide your intention behind, "Just curious".

I find it hard to believe you are motivated by simple curiosity.

Curiosity, they say, killed the cat. Perhaps the cat's name is Victor.

But look to your left - I am not a cat, I am a panther.

Perhaps you have just made a mistake, if so, do tell me your feelings on the matter - I would be delighted to listen.

 

[Anja]

*Ducks behind bush to watch the big puddy-tat ferociously pounce on the leaves blowing past.*