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  1. #31
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    My therapist says I have PTSD, which may to true. In childhood my brother verbal and emotional abused me. I also was verbally and emotionally abused by my wife for years during the worst of her trauma related mental illness. I am codependent from childhood emotional neglect from my parents. I also have struggled with depression for 30 years. CBT has really helped me see myself better and grow as a person.

    My three adopted sons were drug exposed during pregnancy. The oldest two are ASD, ADHD, and additionally are diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. One son is also likely schizophrenic. Both birth moms were also bipolar. One son was inpatient after a severe episode, hearing voices telling him to attack young children, the other has tried to kill himself several times, as well as being violent towards children and adults. Third son also was inpatient after an extreme episode.

    My wife has PTSD and/or borderline personality disorder, untreated. She refuses therapy and can't admit her problems. She also had post partum depression.

    My mom is bipolar. My sister is bipolar. My mom's mother was most likely bipolar and committed suicide.
    That's heart breaking, I really feel for you and for your family, specially for your kids [emoji174] [emoji174][emoji174] and I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother it must have affected your mother in a very bad way [emoji20][emoji22]
    I never went to a counselor therapy because I never thought that I needed it, but if I do in future,I would definitely do that.. I think most of my family have mental illnesses although they never went to a psychiatrist, it's something not very popular in my region..
    Since I'm a mother of an autistic child, may I ask you about your ASD son how old is he? At what age did you find out about his condition? And is he speaking or did you guys have to go through a speech therapy stage with him? How intense is it? What other therapies did he receive other than speech therapy? Does he receive enough affection and love from his mom? Because these children needs much more love and cuddling than any regular child and their mother is a key for them to get better..
    Work for a cause not for Applause
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    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


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  2. #32
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    That's heart breaking, I really feel for you and for your family, specially for your kids [emoji174] [emoji174][emoji174] and I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother it must have affected your mother in a very bad way [emoji20][emoji22]
    My mother can't admit it 50 years later. When she found out I knew, she got very upset.

    I never went to a counselor therapy because I never thought that I needed it, but if I do in future,I would definitely do that.. I think most of my family have mental illnesses although they never went to a psychiatrist, it's something not very popular in my region..
    I never did therapy until this year. I found it useful catalyst in exploring myself and unblocking myself. She quickly saw things about myself I was blind to, that were shaping my life. It felt liberating to let all the pain out.

    Since I'm a mother of an autistic child, may I ask you about your ASD son how old is he? At what age did you find out about his condition? And is he speaking or did you guys have to go through a speech therapy stage with him? How intense is it? What other therapies did he receive other than speech therapy? Does he receive enough affection and love from his mom? Because these children needs much more love and cuddling than any regular child and their mother is a key for them to get better..
    My adopted twins were born at 28 weeks. They had numerous health problems and were in neonatal intensive care for 4 months. They were very delayed and didn't talk until they were almost 4. And we gradually recognized that their world was each other.

    We gradually realized they were still delayed and they were first treated as ADHD. Then a few years later they tested as Autism Spectrum Disorder, not otherwise specified, pervasive developmental delayed. Their speech continued poorly and is barely intelligible until the last year (they are early trends now). Our biggest problem is the behavior. They didn't develop normal raises to things, so now they either get homicidal or suicidal when stressed.... They have had a rough year, but things appeared to have stabilized, a bit.

    They had speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, social group therapy, and are in a special autism program at school.
    They have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for years.

    My wife was always loving to children when she wasn't withdrawn and isolated with her own issues. I have given them tons of affection, that they don't usually even see that. They take my wife's issues especially hard.

    Anyway, it has been very difficult their entire lives. Extremely difficult..... And they are more aggressive than most autistic children.....But I hear that many go through a violent stage.
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  3. #33
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I've never been diagnosed with anything, as I only ever went to a psychologist once, for about 3 months, about 10 years ago, and I think she was against labels; also my main issue at that point was anxiety and thinking something was wrong with me (I was going through a funk and anxiety became very heightened) and so I think she probably knew that if she gave me a label it would just make it worse when there wasn't actually anything significantly causing me issues other than my being anxious about the concept.

    That said, I don't think I have an anxiety disorder anymore but out of anything, that would be what I have most addressed throughout life -- specifically social. As a pre-teen/teenager, had I seen someone, I wouldn't be surprised if I would have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I was functioning, but I didn't get close to anyone and interaction with people approached the level of being fearful. Anyhow, through my own reflection and self-cognitive-therapy over the years, I'd say the bulk of that is gone. I still have some elements on occasion but it's nothing to the level it was when I was younger, and at this point I kind of thrive in a social, light-hearted atmosphere.

    -----------

    My brother was at a treatment center for a few months in his very late teens, due to being suicidal. He was diagnosed with chronic depression and I think generalized anxiety disorder. Very little of that was evident though when interacting with him prior to hospitalization, though. For many years now he's been med free and he figured out a lifestyle and such that works for him and he's managing it I think, and seems well.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #34
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I've had diagnosis and medication for depression and anxiety various times in my life. A psychologist describes that I have something much like PTSD. I don't know if it is a formal diagnosis for PTSD.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #35
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    My adopted twins were born at 28 weeks. They had numerous health problems and were in neonatal intensive care for 4 months. They were very delayed and didn't talk until they were almost 4. And we gradually recognized that their world was each other.

    We gradually realized they were still delayed and they were first treated as ADHD. Then a few years later they tested as Autism Spectrum Disorder, not otherwise specified, pervasive developmental delayed. Their speech continued poorly and is barely intelligible until the last year (they are early trends now). Our biggest problem is the behavior. They didn't develop normal raises to things, so now they either get homicidal or suicidal when stressed.... They have had a rough year, but things appeared to have stabilized, a bit.

    They had speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, social group therapy, and are in a special autism program at school.
    They have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for years.

    My wife was always loving to children when she wasn't withdrawn and isolated with her own issues. I have given them tons of affection, that they don't usually even see that. They take my wife's issues especially hard.

    Anyway, it has been very difficult their entire lives. Extremely difficult..... And they are more aggressive than most autistic children.....But I hear that many go through a violent stage.
    I'm so sorry for you having to go through all of that, with two autistic kids and other family issues [emoji20][emoji20] I really really hope everything will get better for you in future and that someday you and your family would find a peace of mind [emoji253]
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3


  6. #36
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    I'm so sorry for you having to go through all of that, with two autistic kids and other family issues [emoji20][emoji20] I really really hope everything will get better for you in future and that someday you and your family would find a peace of mind [emoji253]
    Well, hopefully. It has been a huge struggle. But we have survived, barely. I feel it was actually helpful to make it so far that my wife and my issues left us resistant to a lot of the pain at the time. My childhood did help me in this in part.

    My son's therapist said that most families with a single child like ours usually divorce, and we have 3 challenging adopted children.

    I can only hope my wife will improve so she no longer is a negative factor in their own development...

    Thanks for you good wishes.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  7. #37
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Default Your experiences with mental illness

    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post

    My son's therapist said that most families with a single child like ours usually divorce, and we have 3 challenging adopted children.

    I can only hope my wife will improve so she no longer is a negative factor in their own development...

    Thanks for you good wishes.....
    I see what you mean since I've been through so much with my husband because of our son, he keeps blaming me and our son for everything that he goes through, and we've been through so many arguments and fights and I keep handling his rages and mood fluctuations, but I insist on keeping this family together, I'm not a kind of a person who just walks away in a first given opportunity, specially for my son's good he loves his dad and me so much..
    I've been told by his therapists that I'm one of the best mothers they've ever met, and my husband admits that I'm so strong to be able to handle all of that, I think that's our nature we give our best to everything we do, we may breakdown but never give up..
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3


  8. #38
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    I see what you mean since I've been through so much with my husband because of our son, he keeps blaming me and our son for everything that he goes through, and we've been through so many arguments and fights and I keep handling his rages and mood fluctuations, but I insist on keeping this family together, I'm not a kind of a person who just walks away in a first given opportunity, specially for my son's good he loves his dad and me so much..
    I've been told by his therapists that I'm one of the best mothers they've ever met, and my husband admits that I'm so strong to be able to handle all of that, I think that's our nature we give our best to everything we do, we may breakdown but never give up..
    You have my sympathies. My wife will randomly get very angry at me over the children and I know the stress doesn't help. I have supported her so much and focused my life to help with the children. I can't give up, but the personal cost is huge. I can only hope for peace one day.

    I hope your husband will start accepting that his anger is about his own issues. It sounds like you fell into the typical ENFJ trap of getting involved with someone with serious unresolved issues. I have yet to meet a ENFJ who avoided that trap....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  9. #39
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    It sounds like you fell into the typical ENFJ trap of getting involved with someone with serious unresolved issues. I have yet to meet a ENFJ who avoided that trap....
    Obviously we're just fulfilling our destiny [emoji23][emoji23][emoji174] I really hope everything will work just fine for all of us [emoji72]🏻
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3


  10. #40
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    Obviously we're just fulfilling our destiny [emoji23][emoji23][emoji174] I really hope everything will work just fine for all of us [emoji72]
    Haha, yes. I suspect my natural born son is a ENFJ so I will do my best to help him see that love can be easy and you can serve others outside your family instead of just finding hurting people to save....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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