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  1. #11
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default The Pot and the Kettle.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    ok yes, but their are personality differences even if MBTI is unreliable. So even if the part in question doesn't believe MBTI they should have at least an inkling that people are different. Some are quiet some are loud some work better alone with no background noise. Not everyone is going to get the same satisfaction from something. So my point is you don't need MBTI to understand that people have different modes of living, but people do need understand that not everyone is like them. So asking someone to be energetic and enthuisiastic, just because that's how they are is like asking a cat not catch bugss. Not that it's impossible for a cat to not catch bugs, but very unlikely.
    The point is this -

    Nobody is saying that personality differences don't exist. Only that MBTI doesn't measure personality differences.

    And yet we have this very odd situation where a member is criticizing her co-workers for not understanding personality differences. When it is as plain as the nose on your face, that no one here understands personality difference either.

    It is a case of the pot calling the kettle, black.

    It's not so much a question of them not understanding, but of we not understanding and thinking we do.

  2. #12
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucrativeSid View Post
    If it bothers me too much, I just pretend like I'm the way I am because I'm a genius. When people bug me, I don't worry about being kind very much. "I'm sorry, I'm far too intelligent to do something like that." (What does that imply?)
    heh. To me that would imply that you think you're clever enough to convince gullible people you are, but not clever enough to make it self-evident through your actions. Hasn't anyone called you on your bs?
    I don't wanna!

  3. #13
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    How do you deal with people who just don't understand personality difference? I run into this frequently, but the most recent person is a co-worker. We have training the whole agency attends every year or every other year on personality type and difference, but it doesn't seem to take with some people. She criticizes people for a wide variety of things, but it generally comes down to not being like her. For example, she keeps telling me I should be more energetic and enthusiastic about getting new assignments. I'm INTJ, so that isn't going to happen.

    Every time she does it I feel like explaining to her about personality difference, but I refrain. Probably it would be better to just ignore it. After all if she didn't get anything from a one day workshop, she wouldn't get it from my explaination.

    Also, she tends to assume that everyone has the same values and motivation as her.

    Has anyone been able to change someone's attitude by explaining personality difference to them?

    Ilah
    I have to say, I would never try to change anyone. I dont think you can solve such problems, by making a person to think about the world more like you do.

    Wisdom comes in different forms and flavours on this world. The most devastating boss can sometimes be the most loveable friend, cause his approach at things, so completly differ from yours, that the spelling opposites attract kicks in.

    I have had my fair share of mean people in my life. But I have grown a custom, to the fact that reason is the most efficient weapon against people that bug you. If you do not get angry, when they try to make you so and if you stay on top of every conversation in the sense that you are reasonable, they can not beat you. Most of the times, they stop trying so at a certain point, thinking you are dumb and do not understand. That is when you have won.

    The meaner comrades, who do not apply to reason, I picked out for a personal conversation. In that I laied out the facts and how I think about it. That happend one time in my life so far and the woman I spoke too, was like 15 years older than I was, so I really kept the ball on the ground. But she did understand and after that we disliked each other even more, but the professional relation worked out fine.

    I do not think that you should tolerate other people mocking you. But you should think about a reasonable cause that makes the thing called mocking. If you act out of a feeling, you wont win the case.

    Reason is unbeatable, in every situation, in the most bad situation, you can consult your boss and explain your situation. But you have to invite the person too, so that there is no bad blood.

  4. #14
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I have to say, I would never try to change anyone. I dont think you can solve such problems, by making a person to think about the world more like you do.

    Wisdom comes in different forms and flavours on this world. The most devastating boss can sometimes be the most loveable friend, cause his approach at things, so completly differ from yours, that the spelling opposites attract kicks in.

    I have had my fair share of mean people in my life. But I have grown a custom, to the fact that reason is the most efficient weapon against people that bug you. If you do not get angry, when they try to make you so and if you stay on top of every conversation in the sense that you are reasonable, they can not beat you. Most of the times, they stop trying so at a certain point, thinking you are dumb and do not understand. That is when you have won.

    The meaner comrades, who do not apply to reason, I picked out for a personal conversation. In that I laied out the facts and how I think about it. That happend one time in my life so far and the woman I spoke too, was like 15 years older than I was, so I really kept the ball on the ground. But she did understand and after that we disliked each other even more, but the professional relation worked out fine.

    I do not think that you should tolerate other people mocking you. But you should think about a reasonable cause that makes the thing called mocking. If you act out of a feeling, you wont win the case.

    Reason is unbeatable, in every situation, in the most bad situation, you can consult your boss and explain your situation. But you have to invite the person too, so that there is no bad blood.
    Yeah, restraint is the sign of emotional intelligence.

  5. #15
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    we have this very odd situation where a member is criticizing her co-workers for not understanding personality differences. When it is as plain as the nose on your face, that no one here understands personality difference either.

    It is a case of the pot calling the kettle, black.
    I don't think so. It seems that the OP is criticizing her co-worker's criticism of her personality, which she claims stems from her co-worker's ignorance of personality differences. She is not criticizing her co-worker's personality per se (which is what her co-worker did to her). Now, if the OP had said "my co-worker should be less enthusiastic and bubbly (or whatever)", that would be an equivalent criticism, since it's aimed squarely at her co-worker's personality. However, that is not what the OP said, and unless we want to argue that "lack of knowledge about personality differences", or "propensity to criticize others" are the result of personality differences themselves, then I don't see how it's hypocritical to be critical of such criticism (or the people who dish it out).

    It's like claiming that intolerance is a part of someone's personality, therefore we shouldn't tell them that they should be more tolerant of other people's personalities (even if they're stepping on our toes) because then we'd be being intolerant of their personalities ourselves. That is senseless.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  6. #16
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    Your co-worker sounds like an idiot.
    She shouldn't get so stuffy about your lack of enthusiasm, get her head out of her asshole and let you both do your jobs.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  7. #17
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    How do you deal with people who just don't understand personality difference?

    Ilah
    By telling them to shut up.

    All kidding aside, avoid dealing with these types of people as much as possible. My husband is an INTJ and he doesn't care about most people so these types of situation never happen to him. He just doesn't get involved.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Ilah's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone. I will resist the urge to try to explain things to her.

    Maverick: I identify with what you are saying. I have noticed this desire to explain things to other people is a strong tendancy for me.

    Ilah

  9. #19
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    How do you deal with people who just don't understand personality difference? I run into this frequently, but the most recent person is a co-worker. We have training the whole agency attends every year or every other year on personality type and difference, but it doesn't seem to take with some people. She criticizes people for a wide variety of things, but it generally comes down to not being like her. For example, she keeps telling me I should be more energetic and enthusiastic about getting new assignments. I'm INTJ, so that isn't going to happen.

    Every time she does it I feel like explaining to her about personality difference, but I refrain. Probably it would be better to just ignore it. After all if she didn't get anything from a one day workshop, she wouldn't get it from my explaination.

    Also, she tends to assume that everyone has the same values and motivation as her.

    Has anyone been able to change someone's attitude by explaining personality difference to them?

    Ilah
    It really is annoying. Some just can't seem to conceptualize that you have different priorities. At first I suggest (gently) the other possibilities to them ("well, maybe..."), but if they are bullheaded about it I avoid them. Efforts at communication will be met with a glare until the explosion.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #20
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    I don't bother understanding them per se. I just figure out which way I could communicate to them efficiently if we have to get work done.

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