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Deep shame

birdseye

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2014
Messages
9
MBTI Type
INTP
so..I seem to have a permanently guilty conscience for reasons I don't understand. A deep sense of shame, and lately it has been really bothering me.

Just to clarify some things..I've never killed anyone, never been in a fight, never stolen things, never physically hurt an animal or human, never cheated in a relationship, never bullied or tormented someone, never committed fraud, never been arrested, etc.

So what am I feeling this shame for? Maybe it's from low self esteem, social anxiety, feeling guilt that I have not reached goals? Does anyone else relate?
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
This is something you should talk to a therapist about. It's very likely this is deep seated and would take a lot of work to tease out.
 

Chthonic

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2014
Messages
683
So what am I feeling this shame for? Maybe it's from low self esteem, social anxiety, feeling guilt that I have not reached goals? Does anyone else relate?

Or maybe you have a destructive parent who knew how to pull your strings and you just haven't put it all together yet?
 

Evee

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 3, 2014
Messages
2,285
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Maybe you're just an E 4!!! :D
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I've been told I have shame but its more of I'm scared of being judged harshly and scared of what comes after I do 90% of possible actions.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
so..I seem to have a permanently guilty conscience for reasons I don't understand. A deep sense of shame, and lately it has been really bothering me.

Just to clarify some things..I've never killed anyone, never been in a fight, never stolen things, never physically hurt an animal or human, never cheated in a relationship, never bullied or tormented someone, never committed fraud, never been arrested, etc.

So what am I feeling this shame for? Maybe it's from low self esteem, social anxiety, feeling guilt that I have not reached goals? Does anyone else relate?
During your development years, was there ever an authority figure who treated you unkindly? Anyone who hurt you?

Very young children don't understand the world and tend to absorb the worldview that their trusted authority figures present them. It is usually a great survival instinct to do this, but when the authority figures are dysfunctional and harmful, then it creates a deep, subconscious, distorted view of the world. It could even be a kindergarten teacher, a Sunday School teacher, an aunt, or anyone who you trusted. This can also result from millions of tiny, micro-attacks in what would otherwise appear to be a reasonably functional environment. If the child is especially intelligent, sensitive, and perceptive, then the impact can be greater than average.

Children who have been abused are especially vulnerable to this free-floating guilt that keeps trying to map to something in reality and often results in feeling disproportionately guilty for small things. I deal with it myself.
 
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