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Bitches Be Jealous

BadOctopus

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If there's one thing that infuriates me beyond words, it is the "You're just jealous" defense. Chances are, you're familiar with this, and have experienced it for yourself. It's when you express your dislike of someone -- or maybe something that someone does -- and somebody replies, "You're just jealous."

Of all the inane comebacks out there, this one irritates me the most. It's as if you can't possibly have a reason for disliking someone other than a childish case of envy.

Take, for example, my personal dislike of a certain singer. I won't say who it is, but I don't care for her music, her lyrics, or her voice. But apparently, according to her fans, this means I am jealous of her looks, her talent, and her success. The thing is, I am perfectly happy with my looks, and I wouldn't want her voice or her success. So what could I possibly be jealous of? Is it really so inconceivable that I just don't like her work?

Not only is "You're just jealous" a lazy, nonsensical retort, but there's pretty much no way to respond to it without sounding defensive. It's the perfect cop-out.

What are your opinions? What do you think is behind this specious reasoning? And how does one counter it successfully?
 

á´…eparted

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If someone says that to me, I stop associating with them. Simple as that. It speaks a lot of them as a person and I have no patience or tolerance for people like that.
 

Jaguar

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Take, for example, my personal dislike of a certain singer. I won't say who it is, but I don't care for her music, her lyrics, or her voice. But apparently, according to her fans, this means I am jealous of her looks, her talent, and her success. The thing is, I am perfectly happy with my looks, and I wouldn't want her voice or her success. So what could I possibly be jealous of? Is it really so inconceivable that I just don't like her work?

They sound delusional.
 

chickpea

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oh yes, i completely agree. they can't handle confronting their own flaws or shitty behavior so everyone is 'just jealous' or a ~hater~. i know plenty of people with cool lives, that don't have any haters because they are kind and gracious people.
 

HongDou

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Anyone who uses "you're just jealous" seriously just has a poor ability to accept that others don't like what they like. :shrug: But I say it sometimes when I joke around with my friends.
 

prplchknz

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usually not, but i like the fact that you have such high confidence in youself that you think i'm sooo jealous that i'm not you. I'm practically green which might be botulism, but yeah sure blame it on the jealousy :rolleyes:
 

Doctor Cringelord

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It's the laziest possible comeback. Where is the logic in that thought process? If A does not like B, then A must be jealous. :thelook:

It's almost as annoying as when someone asks if you like something, you say no, and they take it as a personal attack/criticism on them.... Uh, you asked, dude.
 

Oaky

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Initially used as a sympathetic response to people who are upset with a "they're just jealous", such grows and expands as its sensibility torturing nonsense is wailed about like the trench coat of a bold predated sex offender.
 

Qlip

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If a person said something like that to me, then anything else said after would be translated to Charlie Brown 'wah wah' noises. I just don't have the energy to spare to attempt to communicate with people like that and I couldn't imagine what they payoff would be.
 

Rasofy

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If there's one thing that infuriates me beyond words, it is the "You're just jealous" defense.
What if they just want to see you furious, and you're providing them exactly what they seek?

 
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If there's one thing that infuriates me beyond words, it is the "You're just jealous" defense. Chances are, you're familiar with this, and have experienced it for yourself.

God, tell me about it.

I'm so sick of people being jealous of me. Like, get your own life. Amiright?
 

INTP

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Seems like you are just being jealous to people who can freely use the "you are just jealous" argument against you.
 

five sounds

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i seriously can't think of any case when someone used that as a retort and i respected it in any way. it's mostly just concerning to me that such a simple, broad, and uninformed explanation is what so many people operate on. yikes.
 

SpankyMcFly

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If there's one thing that infuriates me beyond words, it is the "You're just jealous" defense. Chances are, you're familiar with this, and have experienced it for yourself. It's when you express your dislike of someone -- or maybe something that someone does -- and somebody replies, "You're just jealous."

Of all the inane comebacks out there, this one irritates me the most. It's as if you can't possibly have a reason for disliking someone other than a childish case of envy.

Take, for example, my personal dislike of a certain singer. I won't say who it is, but I don't care for her music, her lyrics, or her voice. But apparently, according to her fans, this means I am jealous of her looks, her talent, and her success. The thing is, I am perfectly happy with my looks, and I wouldn't want her voice or her success. So what could I possibly be jealous of? Is it really so inconceivable that I just don't like her work?

Not only is "You're just jealous" a lazy, nonsensical retort, but there's pretty much no way to respond to it without sounding defensive. It's the perfect cop-out.

What are your opinions? What do you think is behind this specious reasoning? And how does one counter it successfully?

[MENTION=13260]Rasofy[/MENTION] speaks the truth. This is an emotional "argument" (not really, but lets pretend). When/if you respond emotionally they "win" in their eyes because you are giving them what they want, an emotional reaction. I think of this as vampirism myself. Like internet trolls you can "win" by not feeding them emotions, starve them. No immediate gratification though.

On the off chance you feel like doing battle...

1) As you mentioned this is also a "lazy" comment and I find that when you follow up their comment with a request for information and/or an explanation to their thought process THEY are the ones who can get flustered because your request is basically asking them to "work" mentally. "Oh really? How did you arrive at that conclusion? What's the thinking there? Do you mind explaining? (lol, of course they mind!!!)

2) Jujitsu: I take it you don't hate/dislike anything and it's difficult for you to empathize?

3) NO U!: "Yeah just like your hate of X (insert something they hate here) is jealousy" Be sure to snicker for maximum effect. Be ready to rumble.

3a) "Hmmm, I guess that explains why you hate X." (insert something they hate)

4) Good ol' ad hominem: You're just of fan boi of X, I bet you have posters of X in your room (or buy/listen to their product, own their cd, etc.). Be sure to eyeroll when you say this.

5) Sock them in the jaw, they had it coming. Make sure you have a get a way, lest it become a police action.
 

Lark

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It might be true. On the other hand I honestly dont believe that everything is or should be rationalised as a consequence of subjective projecting or some sort of Jungian shadow, I think that's a gross simplification.

When a number of people, different people, experience the same individual and the same circumstances in the same way then you can bet your life that it isnt just them, all of them, in concert being bent out of shape in the same way, its possible but highly, highly unlikely surely.

This all, I think, can be traced back to whether or not you actually believe there is an objective ordered cosmos, I do not mean orderly necessarily but ordered as in possessing physical laws such as cause and effect, or if you believe in subjectivism alone, or intersubjectivity at best, in which everything and anything is individually or socially constructed and can be deconstructed again, all things being mere opinion and relative to the individual alone.

Interesting as those things can be, philosophically, academically and perhaps methodologically from a therapy point of view I think the hard sciences are right not to take it seriously like the soft sciences have.
 

Coriolis

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On the off chance you feel like doing battle...
I would add:

6. You must be right [that I'm jealous]. Who could possibly be satisfied with [my own very real accomplishments and good situation in life] when instead I could have [known problems this celebrity has, or problems of celebrity in general]?

7. If it makes you happy to think so, go right ahead.
 
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