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how do you read people's intent/thoughts?

danseen

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2013
Messages
781
MBTI Type
INTP
I find many people do this...so how is it done?
 

Chthonic

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Jun 18, 2014
Messages
683
I dont bother. Its invariably some variation of....

Fuck this person's irritating. Oh look there's my friend!

Kthnxbai....love you. XOXO
 

Hitoshi-San

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Jun 26, 2014
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1,078
MBTI Type
esfp
Enneagram
???
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I wouldn't have the best answer for this, but probably just going got context of the situation, reading the other person's body language, and their own experience.
 

Xander

Lex Parsimoniae
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Apr 24, 2007
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Same way you recognise a tree as a tree, you compare it to previous affirmed experiences and use some inductive logic.
 

laterlazer

good, hot, fresh, fly ~
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sp
Just look at facial expression, body language, tone of voice etc, use what you already know about them, idk doesn't everyone naturally try to/do this anyway though?
 

highlander

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Just look at facial expression, body language, tone of voice etc, use what you already know about them, idk doesn't everyone naturally try to/do this anyway though?

Not everyone. But yes that's what I do as well.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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i try my hardest not to get hung up on motives and focus on what's said and done. sometimes intention is clear to me, and that's good to be aware of, but i really prefer to deal with concrete communication.
 

Cygnus

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Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
If it sounds like bullshit, ask a bunch of follow-up questions. If they have a whole story perfectly weaved together and the pieces all logically fit, it's probable they're not lying.
 

Mychemicalkilljoy

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Jan 14, 2015
Messages
224
MBTI Type
NOPE
I don't really try... It literally just happens. It honestly is super creepy that I can read people a bit TOO well... It creeps me out so much. I am trying to decide if I'm sane or just perceptive. This is going a little off topic but wjen i was in fourth grade i tried out for an acting evaluation and i played a role where i was a depressed teenager and the evaluator literally said "dont change yourself. You are unique. Keep acting and you will go far." that literally still affects me today. I changed myself and I quit acting. That has affected me so much... I quit acti g because I was super shy and hated being on stage... So yeah. Don't judge
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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I don't. I ask them if I really want to know. It's too easy to make mistakes and end up in serious misunderstandings otherwise.
 

Bush

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Knowing a thing or two about human nature and psychology, the needs, wants, and communication styles of people in the general sense, will provide some broad strokes for the picture. To fill in some details, be mindful of the person's personality, experiences, and relationship to you. This all establishes context for interpretations you might have along the way. Your gut might have a thing or two to say, too.

It's best to not rely upon all of that for anything other than forming a hypothesis. Asking clarifying questions during the process, using your interpretations as a navigation tool, goes a long way in avoiding grievous misunderstandings.
 

Dannik

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Dec 6, 2013
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ISTP
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9
I think that "reading" people is just a delicate balance of weighing your experiences and your prejudices.
At times I have felt strong impressions from a person -
and although I would like to believe that I had powerful insight,
it is more likely that my past experiences and my social perspective shaped and set my understanding of interpersonal interaction.
 

Daydreaming Swan

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Mar 17, 2015
Messages
58
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
Step 1) Evaluate facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
Step 2) Consider existing knowledge of the person. If this is someone I just met, I go off my first impression.
Step 3) Consult my Fi and go from there.
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
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I generally don't care enough about other people's motivations to really try to figure them out, I suppose though body language, tone, inflection, word choice, are all good indicators, though generally easy to misconstrue especially if you are lacking practice/reference.

Most people generally only have shallow motivations anyway, they might say what they are saying to be friendly, trick you, whatever, but once it is over they are on to the next thing, and only you can control how you felt about it.

It is easy to get wrapped up in hidden motivations if that is what you are looking for, doesn't mean to accept people at face value, but just that at the end of the day don't waste your life worrying about agendas, especially if you are easily distressed by them. You can only focus on so much at once, try to take everything in and your mind just becomes a mess.

Back of the mind, not the front. Aware but not controlled by. Do the best you can to deal day by day, watch how others interact and try to muster up enough energy to put on a similar front. May be repressive, but sometimes it might be necessary to attempt to focus on the here and now and ignore your preferences. Harder for some, I personally have always hated it and have never been good at keeping it up for long, but most interaction is inherently shallow. It's sad.
 

Destiny

A wannabe dog
Joined
Aug 5, 2013
Messages
452
There is a reason why people often said that eyes are the windows to the soul.

You can easily spot a person's intents/thoughts just from their eyes alone. See that person there who is nice and friendly toward you yet their eyes reflect wariness and coldness whenever they look at you? Now this is a frenemy who secretly dislike you.

See that person there who often act cold and aloof toward you yet their eyes often have this very warm and gentle gaze whenever they look at you? Now this is a shy person who is hiding a secret crush on you.
 

prplchknz

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Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
I get that i'm not him but there's a lot of similarities so why is he less liked than me? don't get me wrong i'm not his friend by any means, but it seems he gets bans comes back and is banned again 50 seconds later.
 
Joined
May 31, 2015
Messages
181
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7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't. I ask them if I really want to know. It's too easy to make mistakes and end up in serious misunderstandings otherwise.
I do the same, although body language can convey some useful additional information that I've completely ignored a few years ago.

Some people make use of body language to a much higher extent than some others. People who rely on reading body language too much can easily become confused when meeting a pokerface like me.
 
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