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  1. #131
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Yeah, I'm not saying it applies to everyone!! And I agree it's kinda fun to segue the topic into the real world - I've done it myself, and people can respond to it pretty well!

    But I still stand by some of my general statements...
    Hey, rock on. Don't just stand by 'em, point to em with both hands and say "YEAH!!"
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  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    I dunno casca, I think I was drawn to it very coincidentally. I wasn't really looking for communication tips. But now that I've read all this stuff, when i get the opportunity to introduce the whole concept to people, and hit them with the real life application of it for real people they know or celebrities or athletes or whatever, its a frickin RUSH, I'm all fired up I'm like opening people's minds up and stuff. It's awesome, my body temp is rising just thinking about it!
    Yeah, I remember when I was going on about self-actualization (they don't teach it around here, have to order the book from U.S.) Its nice to get people so hyped about self-improvement

  3. #133
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    This is so not me... I guess I pay a lot of attention into the observing. I don't see myself going through threads for clues into someones lies.
    well no, I don't either!! I just mean that over a period of time you get to know someone and any inconsistencies in their behaviour start to show up, you don't have to be looking for them.

    By the way I also put up strangers in my house too and I base the trust on my intuitive grasp of their character too. But my criteria are very different from my mom's (ESFJ) and yet she's been conned and tricked many times and I've never had any serious problems. I mean I've put up bums and alcoholics and drug dealers in my house that she was horrified about, certain they'd axe murder the kids in the night or something but I was totally confident they could be trusted, these particular individuals, and I was vindicated every time. And yet she goes through agencies and gets references and looks at resumes and interviews and all that malarky, and yet has a track record of about 70% lemons!!

    I think sometimes people focus on obvious criteria that aren't necessarily as helpful as they think they are - things like always telling the truth about stuff like your name, your background or whatever or looking you in the eye - I don't think these things tell you whether a person will physically harm you or not, or whether they'll steal from you or not, or gradually manipulate you like a psychopath or whatever. They just tell you whether they're easy to understand or not. A person not being easy to understand doesn't make them a bad person in my book. I'm willing to put in the effort to understand a person... some people are happier to write off 'complicated' people as dishonest somehow because well, maybe they don't see why they should make the effort to understand why a person might feel the need to hide parts of themselves.

    So many of the people I've met who've been written off by society as being untrustworthy have turned out to be the best, most supportive and sincere friends I've had... I've learned not to base my trust on conventional 'checklists'.

    I guess we all pick the risks we're willing to live with and go with it
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  4. #134
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    agreed but with reservations - people can often be wrong in their judgement of another person's character. Just because you THINK you can see things about a person when you meet them face to face, doesn't mean you're necessarily right, just like the things you think you learn about a person through the internet aren't necessarily wrong just because you've no physical cues to back it up.
    If I am allowed to make a asumption at this point, I think you do think like I think, but I thought this way some time ago.

    I definitely understand the point that it is important to show people the fine line of conversation. That means to bring them near that you can talk about anything, as long as they try to speak your language until some very easy reachable point. That means that they show, they respect you and when you speak to them that they respect your feelings to some extent and after that the conversation can become really nasty in all sorts of intellectual ways, it was just important for you to know, they do respect you.

    There is the other thing, you see something is going wrong and you want to share your view with other people. But they cant grasp what you are talking about. The thing is they do grasp it sometimes, but you are not satisfied. You need them to know what you FEEL.

    ----

    Like 5 years ago or so I was that real bad gothic. Not emo, we gothics used knives to kill other people, not ourselves. I was trapped in a constant wish to make anyone understand what I think. Cause this is what ENTP's do. We make other people believe.

    Imagine that ability. Not working right. You want to show other people just this little tap on the back what makes them see that their partner in conversation has just the same feelings as they do. Why would you do that ? Why would you try to change someone ?

    Why do you have the idea of turning anyone towards the mysery that you are facing.

    Over the years I eventually came to recognize the fact that in most times, I made a problem, it was me having problems. Today I cant tell, I am free of problems, but my behaviour in society has grown more adult. I have accepted the fact that there are different worlds out there and I have started to point my intrests into exploring them.

    For, if you know the foreign world and if you speak its language, then you finally can relate to the things you really wanted to say.

  5. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I mean I've put up bums and alcoholics and drug dealers in my house that she was horrified about, certain they'd axe murder the kids in the night or something but I was totally confident they could be trusted, these particular individuals, and I was vindicated every time. And yet she goes through agencies and gets references and looks at resumes and interviews and all that malarky, and yet has a track record of about 70% lemons!!

    So many of the people I've met who've been written off by society as being untrustworthy have turned out to be the best, most supportive and sincere friends I've had... I've learned not to base my trust on conventional 'checklists'.
    I don't really "know" what is it that makes someone trustworthy in my books. I guess it is some feeling. Sometimes it is a feeling of coldness in their persona, sometimes I just dont like them. Its not like I have a formula for this...

  6. #136
    Member Buds of May's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie, substitute
    ...

  7. #137
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    THAT...

    was...

    ....

    I wont comment on this, to proud for that, I am out

  8. #138
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You are SO out !!!

    *turning the back towards bad of may*

  9. #139
    Member Buds of May's Avatar
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    Um, really? Just for coming on to you?

    Damn.

  10. #140
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You could post something about startrek.

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