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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default stalking how far is too far?

    this article it's obvious the author goes entirely too far. 'Am I being catfished?' An author confronts her number one online critic | Books | The Guardian

    but I was thinking we probably all do it at least a little. I am constantly clicking people i don't know on facebook and learning about them or reading people's old posts on here. but it's not that I'm planning to use what I learn against them. Hell I'll go through people's cabinets but I never mention what I've found or say anything. I don't have the intention of destroying another's life I just think I'm curious. So where is the line between nosey curiousity and full on stalking?

    P.s. Not actual catfishing
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so
    Likes Destiny, GarrotTheThief, PocketFullOf liked this post

  2. #2
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I think the line is a mixture between individual and societal and it all stems from the potential for something bad to happen. Stalking is harmless unless there's a negative motivation for it--even if that motivation is "I like this person--but I'm unaware that they don't like me."

    Society has their own wavering standards. For example, when FB first came out (before I got on it) people were saying how creepy it was for someone else to check out their page and mention that they had. Now, it's pretty normal for that to happen, and almost expected considering potential fraudulent dating site people and such. So, there's societal standards... which are vague in and of themselves.

    And then there's individuals. For example, I'd find it a bit creepy for someone to follow me physically around anywhere without coming up and talking to me. But another girl might find it sort of intriguing and mysterious if it's done the right way.. like a simple, plain flirting. I don't find it creepy at all that I absorb information online of others--following their posts, reading their interests, etc. etc. But someone else might find it super creepy and weird that I'm taking the time to 'research' all of that.

    So, basically, if the person feels threatened, that's pretty much where the line is. Outside of that, who the stalkee is and how attractive the stalker(s) is/are make all the difference.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    I think being able to use the information you know about someone in a harmful way could be considered stalking. I've done the exact same thing on social networks where I just click through relatives of someone I've talked to once, then their friends, then their friends of friends, and then get to someone who lives practically on the other side of the world. It's weirdly interesting - sort of like finding random Wikipedia pages and scanning them over.

    I'm with @kyuuei when she said she would be bothered if someone followed her. If someone knew where I am on Thursday afternoons at 2 without me telling them and showed up, I'd be a little scared. Some people might be flattered because, I don't know, the person following me is just that interested with my life. People just need their space, and I don't need them in my face all the time.

    Another thing to consider is what if you tried cutting off contact with that person......do you think they would become dangerous to themselves or others? It seems like some stalkers and most abusers threaten suicide if their victim leaves them.

  4. #4
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    haha yeah @kyuuei and @lil_Red if I find myself behind someone unintentially for an extending period of time I worry that they think I'm stalking them, even though we just happen to be going the same way. I'm too paranoid of being accused of stalking to actually fully stalk someone. Plus I honestly don't care enough to bother.

    also my friend did that red or almost he was asking if it be ok if he went to karoke where a guy he had a one night stand with was gonna be. and I just said can you play it off like you were gonna be there anyways? and he was like yes. then he goes "He thinks I'm obsessed with him" and I was like you are. last 3 conversations were about this guy.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #5
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    haha yeah @kyuuei and @lil_Red if I find myself behind someone unintentially for an extending period of time I worry that they think I'm stalking them, even though we just happen to be going the same way. I'm too paranoid of being accused of stalking to actually fully stalk someone. Plus I honestly don't care enough to bother.

    also my friend did that red or almost he was asking if it be ok if he went to karoke where a guy he had a one night stand with was gonna be. and I just said can you play it off like you were gonna be there anyways? and he was like yes. then he goes "He thinks I'm obsessed with him" and I was like you are. last 3 conversations were about this guy.
    I hate it when people think I'm following them or being too nosy, even though I swear some people regularly would ask about a random stranger's bowel habits and think that wasn't that other person's private business at all. I'm sort of an obsessive person, so I would never let this become too big of a habit otherwise it would fuck me up big time.

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_Red View Post
    I hate it when people think I'm following them or being too nosy, even though I swear some people regularly would ask about a random stranger's bowel habits and think that wasn't that other person's private business at all. I'm sort of an obsessive person, so I would never let this become too big of a habit otherwise it would fuck me up big time.
    I've had a 20 minute conversation about someone constipation before. just you know because why not? but she brought it up.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I've had a 20 minute conversation about someone constipation before. just you know because why not? but she brought it up.
    lol, but it was sort of on her because she brought it up in the first place

  8. #8
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_Red View Post
    lol, but it was sort of on her because she brought it up in the first place
    yeah well i don't mind. I'm just saying if you need to talk about your pooping habits I'm available.

    in a non-creepy way.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #9
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    yeah well i don't mind. I'm just saying if you need to talk about your pooping habits I'm available.
    I'll keep that in mind

  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_Red View Post
    I'll keep that in mind
    ok good. i guess maybe we should get back to stalking.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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