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  1. #11
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    I'll say no, but I'm not very assertive when I say it since I don't have a clear idea of what my own opinion is. So, people will then push me to change my verdict and go along with them, but out of principle I just keep saying no.

  2. #12

    Default Can't say no

    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    What causes a person to have lots of difficulty saying no? For example, I have always hated social events, and I have never wanted to go to those events, but I always ended up going anyway because I feel too guilty to say no

    What causes me to have so much difficulty saying no to people? Why can't I say no? What's wrong with me?
    That is also my problem. Everytime someone asks for a favor, I can't say no especially if it's really not that hard to do.

  3. #13
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I usually say yes, because usually it's not anything major. if I have something that conflicts I'll tell them.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #14
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Happy people can say no, seriously. There's nothing I get more a kick out of than setting my boundaries in stone, saying no according to them, and then having some people pleaser resentfully ask me why I'm not doing xyz. I simply sight their resentment as my reasoning. I refuse to live my life on fumes doing things I don't feel called to do, all to please people.
    Last edited by small.wonder; 10-03-2014 at 04:33 PM. Reason: Spelling, grammar and all that jazz.
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  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    I have a problem with it sometimes. Was harder for me when I was younger, but I've learned enough lessons that I'm much more able and willing now.

    7: afraid of missing out
    6-wing: not wanting to seem disloyal
    2: wanting to sacrifice for others. No feels selfish.
    9: wanting to avoid conflict, go with the flow.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Happy people say no, seriously. There's nothing I get more a kick out of than setting my boundaries in stone, saying no according to them, and then having some people pleaser resentfully ask me why I'm not doing xyz. I simple sight their resentment as my reasoning. I refuse to live my life on fumes doing things I don't feel called to do, all to please people.
    I disagree, I don't have a problem saying no, but I usually say yes because what I'm being asked usually isn't that big of a deal. it's usually on my way or the person gives me gas money (though last time I just asked them to buy me coffee)
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #17
    Google "chemtrails" Bush Did 9/11's Avatar
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    Why difficulty? Appeasement. Not wanting to feel like a leech. Guilt.

    Others have given more nuanced answers.

    But, yes; it a tendency that has to be deliberately balanced with the ability to say 'no.'
    J. Scott Crothers
    aka "Bush Did 9/11"
    Founder, Truthtology, est. 1952
    Prophet and Channel, God Almighty
    Author, the Holy scripture Elevenetics

    "Just as jet fuel cannot melt steel beams, so too cannot the unshakeable pillars of Truthtology ever be shaken, whether by man, nature, or evidence."
    - Elevenetics

  8. #18
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    Several factors may play into this. Insecurity, Conflict aversion, a wanting for approval, etc.

    Type wise, of course 9's are the most obvious type to pin the yes man label upon(along with 2's) based upon the stereotypical perception of 9's as abhorring and going to great lengths to flee from conflict. However, I could very much see 4's being caught up in a yes cycle, after all they have a line to 2, which could potentially make them very "help-y", social 4's especially. Really, social doms in general as I don't think social lasts (or even social seconds though exceptions may be present in a select few social last/second subtypes, most namely sp 4's who's tendency towards "suffering in silence" could be conducive towards certain aspects of self erasure) would be so much inclined to have trouble with this, especially not in pertinence with the third possible factor mentioned.

    As for 9's, I can't see Sx 9's(especially 9w8's) falling into this particular trap being that they usually possess an almost inately stronger connection to 3 than say, social nines who's connection to 3 may actually not so healthily manifest itself in people pleasing behavior. I also couldn't see sp 9's doing this either being that from personal experience(as well as what I've picked up from a few of the comments I've seen from other sp 9's), helping others seems too much a bother and I'd only do so if I felt I would need a favor from the individual at a later time. I find saying no comes too easily, and saying yes to be very hard as I hate going out of my way and discomforting myself for others, generally speaking.


    Succinctly put, this is far and away from exclusively being a "9 thing".
    In that which is night to all things, therein the self-subjugated remains awake; but where all else is awake, that is night for the knower of the self.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    It depends on the case. If someone asked me something small, like whether I want ice cream or not (the answer is always yes anyway) I would answer quickly and honestly. If I'm torn, I can have trouble saying no.

    My little brother is an INFP too and can be very indesicive. That means you like to avoid conflict and don't like the hurt people's feelings. You really care and are sensitive.

  10. #20
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    The response elicits an end, whereas I always find curiosity wishes to know more about the reasonings through the questions they've asked. It's efficiency arises when I hold an alternate focus or when the presumptions detriment security.

    #darnlions
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