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  1. #1
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default Men Interrupting Women

    I found this article to be really interesting.

    Basically what is says is that men interrupt women in conversation a lot more than women interrupt men and that men and women don't interrupt men nearly so much.

    Do you see or experience this?

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  2. #2
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I found this article to be really interesting.

    Basically what is says is that men interrupt women in conversation a lot more than women interrupt men and that men and women don't interrupt men nearly so much.

    Do you see or experience this?
    That is a pretty well-documented and generally accepted fact, as far as I remember, you can find in just about every book on sociolinguistics. It was mentioned in a class I took more than 10 years ago in college (linguistics class, mind you, not gender studies! )

    However, in my personal environment (no representative of society as a whole, of course) I don't really see it as often, or rather, it seems to correlate with age and be more widespread among my parent's and grandparent's generation than my own.

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    We interrupt them because it's the only way we can get a word in edgewise. Or maybe that's just with my mom.
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  4. #4

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    All of this is true. Damn. It makes me pretty mad. This is just another reason I could never have an emotional connection with a man. That and I'm interested in only women. The only times guys didn't do this interrupting is... Probably never. God! Even if a guy says he's interested in me intellectually... He interrupts entirely too much. Then he starts thinking I like him merely because I'm too nice and willing to spend time with him trying to intellectualize. Then I realize he hasn't really been listening to me all along and is interested in me in all the wrong ways. I point it out to him. He denies it. But then the same stupid pattern.

    I think the only solution is for me to never again be naive enough to think a real friendship is possible with a normal straight male... There's the extremely geeky ones who are humble and socially phobic, these guys might br okay. Guys who are borderline asexual, guys who are gay, and guys who are bisexual might be okay... But the relatively normal straight male is out of the friendship equation for me.

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    I don't think I've ever noticed myself interrupting girls particularly, I could be wrong but I'm pretty self-aware. I tend to listen to everyone until they are done speaking. If anything, my sister interrupts me a lot. But according to @Keirouen, this might be because of my humbleness and sexuality. No one besides my sister ever interrupts me as a male, it's kind of unfortunate. I say a lot of stupid things.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    I interrupt regardless of gender and based, I think, on how I relevant and valuable I consider my current thought compared to what my interlocutor is about to say. I usually do it to expand on an idea that has just come up, to prove something right or wrong, or to make an important Simpsons reference. Also, I insert words when they are too slow in finding their own. I do expect people to carry on afterwards, but sometimes they feel... interrupted.

    I noticed this tendency to get too focused on the flow of ideas and forget about the balance of conversation a couple of years ago. I have since tried to be more mindful of interruptions.

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    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I haven't particularly noticed that in my own experience. I have experienced plenty of the situation where my word counts for less than a man's, though.

    If anyone has a problem with interrupting, it's me. My mind flows too quickly and I have trouble listening to people explain something I already understand. I also tend to get a little overexcited when ideas come to me and want to explore them immediately. Basically, I blame Ne. Not really an excuse, but anyway...
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    Sshhhh women, men are talking.

    Yeeeah, it really is a cryin shame.
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  9. #9
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    yes. like @Red Herring said, it's been generally accepted as fact by sociolinguists. i do experience this, especially in a mixed sex group. i very rarely take it as anything but an interesting study of human behavior and our culture, besides allowing myself to use this knowledge to squash out any feelings of inferiority or "i'm talking too much" that may threaten as a result of this pattern of communication.

    basically what i mean is, i don't fault men for this. it's kind of encoded in them by the patterns they learn as very young boys acquiring language and social skills. and i believe that it's so unconscious that if a woman really were to assert herself, in most instances, the men would respect that and give her a voice (slight guilt might even result if the men realized the effort with which the woman had to get herself in there). the myth that women talk more has everything to do with their style of speech rather than the number of words they generate or the length of time they talk for. women take more frequent, quicker turns which might lead men (who are more prone to monologue-style speech) to perceive that a woman is talking a lot. also, women are more prone to spend words on emotional, kind of meta-conversational messages, like encouraging someone to come sit closer, or noticing a partner's reaction to something within the conversation.

    this knowledge can help women to a) know that regardless of what they feel, try to look at the conversation objectively before you decide you're talking too much, and b) command the attention of men by speaking a little more in their style when needed. i have no intention of changing my conversational style to a male one, but much like code switching between dialects and different formalities, it can be a useful tool. and finally, since these are patterns taught and learned at a young age (and women/mothers are generally the primary force in a child's language development) we can teach our sons and daughters differently! like RH also said, it's not as much of an issue as it was 50, 100 years ago when culturally, women were explicitly subservient in many ways. since that dynamic is shifting on other fronts, it should be easier than ever to reshape those relics in our unspoken conversational rules that represent a time past.
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  10. #10
    Member ginniebean's Avatar
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    It's quite likely men are slightly more impulsive than women. I haven't noticed that men interrupt more but then, I wasn't looking for it either.

    As an aside, I don't mind getting interrupted, what I dislike tho is people who get self righteous over being interrupted. I consider a normal conversation where a person speaks for about 30 seconds and then you can respond. When someone monologues and then pulls the "don't interrupt me" bogart I consider it equally as rude as they consider interruptions.

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