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How do some people get what they want while others don't?

prplchknz

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I've noticed that I don't demand anything but for some reason people are willing to go out of their way for me. I don't demand nor expect people to. But 9 out of 10 times I get what I want. I have been known to ask nicely, but I don't expect them to heed my request, they just tend to. I've been told by complete strangers that I seem trustworthy.

Yet other people do the same thing and they don't. Does it have to do with energy? Looks? What?
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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You are likely not getting a whole lot of stuff.
 

Habba

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First impression goes a long way when dealing with strangers. Also some people want less, so you it's easier from them to get what they want.
 

cafe

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Treating people like equals and respecting their feelings and autonomy goes a long way with a lot of people, IME. A lot of people don't do it so when somebody does, it stands out and they are willing to go the extra mile. Not always, but often. I can't imagine that you wouldn't treat people like people, at least until they got stupid on you.
 

Noll

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Luck and genes, some people are doomed.
 

Senkrad

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I think this really has to do with what other people think of you the first time they see you. Looks combined with "energy" or something, I don't know the technical psychological jargon.

People seem to subconsciously think of me as a leader, even in situations where I obviously am the newest person on site. I have a way with words and others always think that I am very intelligent. I am not even trying to make others think of me as a leader, they just do it. Of course, this isn't always good for me as other persons in the group sometimes take this as a threat, whether it is the groups real leader or just someone that wants to be the leader.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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I have been known to ask nicely, but I don't expect them to heed my request

^ this.

expressing it as something you need without applying pressure for them to provide it for you. also, knowing the right people to ask is huge. Ne helps with that I think. like oh, this person would likely be able to help me out with X.
 
W

WhoCares

Guest
I get what I want the majority of the time, but I wouldn't put it down to my people skills...:D But there is something about me that makes others mistake me for someone familiar, or they assume what they know about me is actually correct, it isn't. But I have this uncanny ability to create that sense of familiarity with people. I can't really describe it. I've even had arguments with complete strangers who insist they know me, when they don't. If I was a less scrupulous person I could take advantage of that. As it is, I find it annoying mostly.

But despite that, I don't find it difficult to get myself into situations or opportunities that I want.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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The people who seem to always get what they want tend to:
*Word hard and persistently even in the face of difficulties
*Not afraid to speak up for what they want
*Are assertive about their needs without being an asshole about it
*Are just plain lucky sometimes
 

Honor

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The people who seem to always get what they want tend to:
*Word hard and persistently even in the face of difficulties
*Not afraid to speak up for what they want
*Are assertive about their needs without being an asshole about it
*Are just plain lucky sometimes
+1

This can be a tall order to follow sometimes, but you just have to keep your nose to the grindstone.
 

prplchknz

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The people who seem to always get what they want tend to:
*Word hard and persistently even in the face of difficulties
*Not afraid to speak up for what they want
*Are assertive about their needs without being an asshole about it
*Are just plain lucky sometimes

Don't do the first thing. I do speak up sometimes. I guess I'm assertive. Yeah probably just lucky
 

OrangeAppled

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The people who seem to always get what they want tend to:
*Word hard and persistently even in the face of difficulties
*Not afraid to speak up for what they want
*Are assertive about their needs without being an asshole about it
*Are just plain lucky sometimes

I admit I am very cynical about this. I have come to the conclusion that honest, hard work & real talent is not rewarded in this world, but cheating & lying & selfishness & two-faced butt-kissing often is.

The rest seems right though... although why it is that when some "ask for it" it is not deemed demanding, yet when others do it is, is still the mystery. I notice I get what I want more not when being an ass nor when being too NICE either. But if I act like I deserve it & am unapologetic, then people are more likely to do it.

The other factor is how high the dream. Some are content with simpler things, with less, etc. They may more easily attain satisfaction then. Sometimes the easiest way to get what you want is to change what you want, to something "less".
 

greenfairy

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I find I get most of what I want but I seem to have a lot of psychological blocks to getting the other things I want. I'm generally a lucky and fortunate person and circumstances seem to turn in my favor, partly because I try to align myself with the flow of the universe and think positively and generally be nice to people (and visualize things turning out how I want them), but certain things I really don't want keep happening over and over and over and I have yet to figure out exactly why and fix it.

But that's just me. I would echo Such Irony and OrangeAppled as to people in general.

I believe we create our own realities, but we have to work with the flow of things and not against it.
 

prplchknz

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I admit I am very cynical about this. I have come to the conclusion that honest, hard work & real talent is not rewarded in this world, but cheating & lying & selfishness & two-faced butt-kissing often is.

.

I agree with this. I've been honest in situations and I got in more trouble than if I had said what they thought was the truth. So it's really honesty is the best policy if you pretend the truth is what the other party wants to believe is the truth.
 

xisnotx

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it's because kind people exist and kind people like to do kind things for other kind people. it feels better than to just do something for your own reasons...to kind people, at least.

in this world, it's been my experience so far, that if you know what you want...you'll eventually find a way to get it. people who don't know what they want, don't tend to get what they want. or perhaps they do get it, but when they have it...they don't realize they want it.

if you want it, go get it. no one is stopping you but you.

if you can see it, you can be it.
 
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