A good guideline in differentiating between the "soul" and "spirit" of man I have found in the works of the late Christian psychologist Conrad A. Baars (Feeling and Healing Your Emotions Plainfield, NJ, Logos International, 1979 and others). He divides our 11 basic emotions into "humane" emotions, (love/hate, desire/aversion, joy/sadness), which are ennobled by our or "intellect" ("intuitive", or "contemplative" mind); thus making up our "heart"; and also our "utilitarian" emotions (hope/despair, courage/fear, anger), which aid our "reason" ("working" or "discursive" mind) thus making up our "mind". ("intuitive" comes from a Latin word meaning "look" or "view", and "intellect" from "to read between", both as opposed to simply "reasoning")
"Upwardly" he says, "the humane emotions are intimately linked with our spirit, and the utilitarian emotions with our reason" [i.e. soul]. Downward, both groups are linked with our body. (p.33). The humane emotions are from our "pleasure appetite" and cause inner movement within the psyche. They are our responses to what we perceive as "good" or "bad". Our intuitive mind also receives its knowledge from such sources as nature, the arts, faith, and directly from God through the Spirit. The utilitarian emotions of our "utility appetite" move us to action to make life better or respond to threats to our happiness or well being. Thus, they are concerned with mundane things; what is useful or harmful. It's the humane emotions that distinguish us from animals (hence, "humane"). While they certainly share the utilitarian emotions (anger, courage, etc) with us, the other set of emotions are not "ennobled" in them, being that they have instinct to guide them. Since we have those emotions, our instincts are undeveloped or "sophisticated" (its character altered).
So this gives us a good idea of how to distinguish our soul from our spirit: just think of the emotions associated with them!
Baars does not recognize an opposite of "anger", which he calls the "ultimate emotion". To my Ne, there must be an opposite, to complete a more round total of 12. So I would think "peace" or "contentment" would fit. Anger is a "sense-evil" emotion sort of like an active, charged version of sadness, and a temporal cousin to hate. So its opposite would be similarly related to love and joy. "Peace", can be thought of as a more spiritually charged form of joy, and is connected with love. It is needed when the other utility emotions are not able to remove the cause of pain or unhappiness, or when something gives you pleasure apart from the intuitive mind. The proof is that animals such as our pets would have the sense-evil reaction of anger if teased, but if petted, a sense-good reaction that is not the "humane" love or joy, and certainly not hope or courage. They are then peaceful. Baars and his colleagues considered this state (which they referred to as "meekness") as not an emotion, but as a spiritual state. But this would probably result from the fact of anger appearing to be the "ultimate emotion". It's opposite then, may appear not to be an emotion at all. But its presence in animals proves it must not be "spiritual".
I find it helpful to categorize the different pairs into categories:
category-----------------Anticipating (future)---Present reality---reactive (past)