Is it ever acceptable to lash out at others due to stress?

[DiscoBiscuit]

so it's justified to murder someone who has never comitted a crime whatsoever?

Well that wouldn't be justifiable homicide.

It is occasionally justifiable to kill. Not always.

 

[prplchknz]

Well that wouldn't be justifiable homicide.

so the type of situation i'm refering to means it isn't justified, based on your logic

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

so the type of situation i'm refering to means it isn't justified, based on your logic

Well I was responding to the question in the thread title.

Yes it is sometimes justified. Sometimes it is not.

Is it ever justifiable, yes. Is it always justifiable no.

That seems pretty common sense.

 

[prplchknz]

Well I was responding to the question in the thread title.

Yes it is sometimes justified. Sometimes it is not.

Is it ever justifiable, yes. Is it always justifiable no.

That seems pretty common sense.

so you didn't read the OP?

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

so you didn't read the OP?

Nope.

 

[prplchknz]

Nope.

you probably should, just a suggestion

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

If it's every once in a while, I'm okay with it, especially if they'll give me the explanation that they had a bad day or whatever. But if it's a regular occurrence and they always have some excuse or the other, it gets a bit old. You get to the point where you want them to just admit that this isn't some rare event, them being mean to you, it's regular. It's not a behavior as much as it is who they are. Then, the issue can be addressed more properly.

 

[Stansmith]

It can be an explanation, but it isn't necessarily justified. I usually regret reacting in that way.

It can be justified, however, if the person continues to prod you for no good purpose after you've made it clear that you're not in the mood.

Someone's probably already said this, though.

 

[johnnyyukon]

so you didn't read the OP?

Your thread title and your thread description are very different.

 

[cafe]

I do it sometimes, but it is not justifiable.

 

[prplchknz]

Your thread title and your thread description are very different.

no they're not the first line is the completion of the title

 

[The Ü™]

11 people (so far) never worked in customer service.

 

[prplchknz]

11 people (so far) never worked in customer service.

or have actually read the post

 

[Amargith]

The only times I'll do it that I can think of as justifiable are the ones where it is in self-defence and it is meant as a 'shock' to get through to someone who just won't hear you otherwise - because it is the only form of communication they understand or respect.

That would also mean that you would not continue to do it if it didn't work on the person (instead of venting and escalating the situation - extremely hard not to do btw), and that you'd only follow up with that same attitude if you noticed that it worked but more is needed. It also means that you'd stop the second they backed off instead of taking the offence (again, this can be hard as it almost feels like your hunting instinct has been triggered and hounding almost comes natural to ensure maximum safe space between you two).

That said - in theory people would never do this. In practice, we're all human and we've all snapped at some point or another. I think the best you can hope for in people is the self-awareness from the person who snapped that they just did, and the ability to own it and make amends later on (or even during), and understanding of mitigating circumstances for the person who gets snapped at, which would also help them realise that this aint about them and it's nothing personal.

 

[The Ü™]

or have actually read the post

Okay, I read it and my answer is still yes. I have ADD, so that's my excuse for not reading it, and this is analogous to PMS and moodiness.

 

[Lexicon]

While I do think it's human for people to end up being terse or otherwise less considerate when under a ton of stress on occasion, for various psychological/physiological reasons, kneejerk reactions, etc- understanding why someone might be more edgy than usual does not condone their behavior. Self-monitoring & good communication about what you're going through is important. Apologizing when you've done this & making a marked effort to improve on your internal stress management is also important. If you just sweep it under the rug, it never gets better, & relationships may be irreparably damaged.

If the person is incapable of reflecting upon their actions (in the moment or near future) & discussing it with you (& making clear efforts to improve and actually improving over time), then it's probably a good idea to distance yourself emotionally from them, as that sort of lashing out is just plain abusive when there's no remorse or resolve to manage problems/emotional reactions differently.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

I don't think having a bad day/whatever is necessarily an excuse to justify bad behavior, but a way to say don't take it personally.

 

[johnnyyukon]

11 people (so far) never worked in customer service.

Hah! Not me. And working in it has taught me to only reserve extreme rudeness for MAJOR ASSHOLES. And I always tip at least 20% unless I see the waiter/waitress spit in my food (hasn't happened yet).

As far as being rude cuz you're in a bad mood, I don't do it. I'll stay home if I'm in a REALLY foul mood, just so it won't rub off on anyone.

 

[Evo]

11 people (so far) never worked in customer service.

What?

 

[johnnyyukon]

11 people (so far) never worked in customer service.

What?

People that work in customer service are often treated very rudely, so it would follow that they don't do it themselves. At least, that's my case. Waiting tables, dealing with customers is HARD work considering the pay.