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  1. #61
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I agree with this. I don't find gender based humor funny at all, and not even because I think it's 'harmful' or ideological. It just plain isn't funny.
    I get a hunch that this might be due to your and MP not really identifying much with your gender.

    And that's totally cool and legit.

    I am one of those people who is mystified by her heterosexuality, and who views a distinct pattern amongst both men and women and when people speak about these differences, if their assessment happens to be accurate, I can and do find myself relating.

    I know that there are exceptions to the rule, my sister being one. She is more masculine than most men, for real.

    She works in production is competitive as hell and has zero tolerance for relationship intimacy and issues, she is *not* the girl you call when having problems with your SO or your best friend, etc.

    I am always observing men, and more specifically men that I happen to get romantically involved with, obviously they were all individuals, but they too were all heterosexual males, and they all exhibited similar "male" qualities, bless their little hearts.

    Yes, well, hmm, women and men, there is in fact a difference.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  2. #62
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I hear women say things like this, but I always wonder if it is because they feel they ought to say it. I mean do many women in happy relationships really feel this way? Heck I don't feel this way even when my relationship with husband is getting me down and I'd like to fast track him to the moon.

    When young and single, I had a lot more sexual thoughts and interest than I ever let on because it is just not "safe" to be that open. I tend to think women are just as sexual as men but it is not safe to always allow it come to surface. Then too I see a lot of women in vastly unhappy relationships who use sex as power leverage as something to withhold. I never understand how they are able to do that.
    That bothers me on so many levels. Number one, way to let your partner know that sex with him is such a drag that you consider it currency. Number two, if you actually enjoy sex, why would you punish yourself?

    As for the "sex = nice bath = ice cream = TV" sentiment? No, I don't feel that way in a general sense. Sex is way better and I'd rather do it. But there are times when I would choose one of the others over sex because I'm just not feeling sexy. I don't think that is true of my husband very often.

    And I think you're dead-on about it not being safe to express that aspect of ourselves. Hell, I self-censor a lot of my sexual comments on this forum, even, because I get the impression people think of me as a maternal figure and the societal pressures not to mix madonna and whore are very strong. My usertitle on INTPC for a long time was "Sacred and Profane."

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Romance novel heronines usually have a lot of sex. Even the Regency ones now have a lot of sex.
    But they're starry-eyed while they're getting it on!
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #63
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    But they're starry-eyed while they're getting it on!
    May we all be so starry eyed while getting it on. Life can be so ugly, why not be starry eyed when one can be!

  4. #64
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    May we all be so starry eyed while getting it on.
    I thought it was compulsory! Don't tell me that not everyone is

  5. #65
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Oh, regarding the whole sex (as in coitus) thing.

    I know that I really must be in the mood to really have sex, granted there were times when I would just give it a go to please my mate but he knew that, regarding sex, I was the ultimate gate keeper, if I didn't feel like it, he would have to either work hard at making me feel like it, ahem yes, a whole lot of foreplay on his behalf, or accept the fact that he wasn't going to get laid.

    Should sex be more democratically allotted?

    Perhaps, but I like the notion of having sex whenever *I* feel like it.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Oh, regarding the whole sex (as in coitus) thing.

    I know that I really must be in the mood to really have sex, granted there were times when I would just give it a go to please my mate but he knew that, regarding sex, I was the ultimate gate keeper, if I didn't feel like it, he would have to either work hard at making me feel like it, ahem yes, a whole lot of foreplay on his behalf, or accept the fact that he wasn't going to get laid.

    Should sex be more democratically allotted?
    Wanting to be wooed a bit or needing foreplay is different from what I am talking about. I just see that as part of the whole act.

    Perhaps, but I like the notion of having sex whenever *I* feel like it.

    Oh I agree with the above.

    I had an old friend who used to make her husband promise to buy her outfits (when their budget was really strained already) in exchange for sex and she would laugh later at how desperately he pleaded. It really sickened me, but I also didn't understand how she could do so long without sex. I mean from what she said, she was like a block of ice about it. I'd say more, but lol this is a message board and I already say too damn much as it is!

  7. #67
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I get a hunch that this might be due to your and MP not really identifying much with your gender.

    And that's totally cool and legit.
    The problem here is very simple. Who is defining whether or not I identify with my gender? I'm apparently not very male, even though I am a male in every possible way. This doesn't make sense.

    In other words, if I'm a man and I behave this way, than I'm apparently behaving a way that a man might behave. Get it? This is apparently male behvaior, because its being acted out by a male.

    This exact problem came up in an entirely different sort of thread. It was the silly thread about dressing up as another MBTI type. I decided to mock it by claiming that I'd dress up as an INTP, and then described a very stereo-typical depiction of an INTP that is also nothing like the way I dress. I then said I normally dress like an INFP. The joke here, is that if I'm a n INTP, then however I dress is apparently the way an INTP would dress.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  8. #68
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Oy vey, not male vs. female, but masculine traits versus feminine traits.

    One can be an androgynous male or female, a female can have masculine traits and a male can have feminine traits.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #69
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Then what is the source of the definition of masculine and feminine, and what good is having them?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  10. #70
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    For all intents and purposes and to be concise,

    Femininity ~ Estrogen-induced behaviors/characteristics

    Masculinity ~ Testosterone-induced behaviors/characteristics
    Thar ya go!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

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