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If You Had to Pick, What Are Your Top Two Needs Out of This List?

grey_beard

The Typing Tabby
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
1,478
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
1)Certainty/Security
2)Uncertainty/Variety
3)Significance
4)Connection/Love
5)Growth
6)Contribution

- Please list your MBTI, enneatype, and/or varients if possible.

- If you want to explain how you get these needs met, that would be awesome too.

- And do you think your needs have changed over time?

[MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION] --
Significance, Connection, Growth.
INTJ 5w4.
Changed over time, used to be certainty/security and contribution, then significance.
Odd, isn't it?
I get those needs met right here on TypC, didn't you know? /dripping-sarcasm>
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ESTJ 1w2-7w6-3w4 so/sx/sp

Contribution
Growth


Becoming a better and more capable person over time. Making a tangible difference.

Not really. I think if you'd asked me this three or four years ago, I would have underestimated my need for growth, and would have put "certainty/security" as my second. But now I know what stagnation feels like, enough to know that it suffocates me like it would suffocate a fish.


Edit: Wasn't sure how to separate "significance" and "contribution" -- decided that by my working definition, "contribution" can include "significant contribution", but without the glory. I can do without the glory.

I am having a hard time figuring out if I need significance more than growth.

Like I almost feel like I'm growing if I feel significant.....does that make sense?

I don't like stagnation either though :shrug: idk
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Growth - leaving a mark on the world would be wonderful, but what's more important to me is to become a better person whether anyone witnesses it or not, which I define as developing the courage to live by one's values with increasing integrity in the face of whatever life may bring. If you have that, the other items on the list will come easier, anyway.

Certainty - The real need is for independence, but the word "certainty" illustrates how I can overindulge in it. It isn't as healthy - more like the last remnants of a very unhealthy period - but it is a significant craving right now. What I want to be guaranteed at all times is a space in my mind untouched by other people's influence and outside concerns where I can create and process those things that are important to me, which more often than not relates to laying a claim to physical space. While everyone has the right to inner space, the boundary shouldn't need to be supported by social detachment - besides, relationships can be a muse. The implication is that others will collapse the boundary if let close, which in turn implies that I assume no choice in whether it happens. Better to develop some real resilience.

It is interesting how multiple people claim that they would have chosen certainty in the past, but either grew out of the desire or have secured it and moved on to pursuing other needs. Nothing in the world is one hundred percent certain, and it seems the very best one can do in this area is to become confident in their personal capacity to deal with the unknown. Then, the constant knowns formerly clung to are no longer needed to prop up a semblance of mental health - the real thing doesn't need training wheels - although said knowns may be nurtured purely because they are valued by the person, only if they are.

4w3 so = sp = so = sp = :p
 

Freesia

cool cat
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
225
MBTI Type
Meow
Enneagram
:0)
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
1) Growth
2) Significance (as in, I hope to be significant in other people's lives in a positive way, which for me ties into both connection and contribution)

INFP 4w5 so/sp
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I am having a hard time figuring out if I need significance more than growth.

Like I almost feel like I'm growing if I feel significant.....does that make sense?

I don't like stagnation either though :shrug: idk
What if you stay as significant as you always have, indefinitely? Like a fixture in the community, always doing the same task. Or holding the same position for decades. Or something else like that.
 

Flâneuse

don't ask me
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
947
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
low-Ne INFP, 9w1 sp/sx

1. Connection/Love - I try to seek out people with whom there would be mutual understanding, and people who genuinely want to love and understand rather than manipulate (you may be surprised how hard it is to find the former). I also try to stay in touch with myself / my own feelings as much as possible because, somewhat ironically, that's what allows me to empathize and connect with others.
2. Contribution -
Small-scale contributions: Contributions to people I care about come with the 1st thing I listed. I also try to be honest, thoughtful and original in my interactions with everyone (though like everyone I fail at this sometimes), as well as kind if they treat me kindly as well.
Large-scale contributions: Still working on this part. I've accepted that it may never happen. I might have to make do with making lots and lots of small differences in place of a big one.

My desire for significance in the eyes of others has decreased over time (but is still pretty prominent), while my needs for internal significance and love/connection have grown.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
Contribution and Growth- I like making an impactful difference, and getting better each time I do it. Wherever I apply myself.

INTJ
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ENFP 7w6 - 2w3 - 9w8 so/sx or sx/so

1. Connection/Love
2. Uncertainty/Variety

Interesting how most of the self-typed 6s so far go with Certainty/Security. Unsurprising, but interesting. :D

I also don't really feel a need to contribute to anything if it doesn't relate to my personal gain as terrible as it sounds haha. Watching the world come together in unity is a beautiful thing and of course I'll do my part, but most of the time I'm just looking out for my own benefit. A bit selfish, I know.

Oh, and my needs have changed over time. But I'm only 18. As a child, I would have prioritized Uncertainty/Variety over Connection/Love.

Oh thanks for this response! Very interesting.

The part in the bold, I really relate. I think it's a 7 thing (Or maybe just a young thing?) But I would also think a need for contribution would be related to so doms... :thinking: Funny.

And I don't think it's selfish or terrible sounding btws. That's why I love finding these things out...cause we can really come to an understanding of how people tick, from a perspective of non-judgment. - We are who we are, prefer what we prefer, and need what we need. :)

Re certainty and 6-ness:

I took this test: http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69144

and I got Growth as my number 1
and Certainty as my number 2.

I agree with the test actually....I am bad at reading myself :doh: lol

But I read the explanation of my top two needs, and it explains my many contradictions.
 

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
1) Growth

2) Connection/Love
3) Significance
4) Certainty/Security

5) Contribution
6) Uncertainty/Variety

In those groupings.

Growth first, next three tied (and all important), next two don't really care too much about.
 
0

011235813

Guest
Love/connection and significance are pretty neck and neck for me. As far as significance is concerned, it's not necessarily prestige I'm concerned with but rather with making sense of the world and discerning its meaning and assigning it significance. I would be crushed if life was just a joke.

I self type as an ISFP 9dw but 4w5 is also possible.

I seek intimacy with people who have a philosophically hopeful view of the world and are willing and able to help me make sense of it. I seek out beauty because it makes me feel like it all does mean something and helps me love more freely and fully. I love feeling wanted and needed and desired in relationships ... and the feeling of coming first with people.

- And do you think your needs have changed over time?
Yup. My need for variety, for example, spikes very regularly, since I don't like getting bored. Similarly, whenever I've felt shaken by unexpected life changes, I've struggled towards security. At a deeper level, though, I think connection and significance will probably be the most important to me.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
4)Connection/Love
1)Certainty/Security

In that order.

Funny how those connect to Enneagram type

I don't think these have changed
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Based on the test:
Growth 12
Certainty 11
Significance 11
Contribution 10
Love/Connection 8
Uncertainty/variety 8

I think that test was pretty accurate assessment of my needs.

I wonder if SP variants tend to have higher certainty scores and SX variants tend to have higher uncertainty scores?
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Connection/Love
Growth

- Please list your MBTI, enneatype, and/or varients if possible.
INFP 925 sx/sp

- If you want to explain how you get these needs met, that would be awesome too.
Connection/love: through my relationships.
Growth: introspection, therapy, effort.

- And do you think your needs have changed over time?
I might have answered Security instead of Growth earlier in my life, though it's still close to the top, at 3.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Growth and Contribution. These are connected, in that I try to grow in ways that make it possible for me to contribute more.

INTJ, 5w6 sp/sx

I meet these by continuing to learn about areas that interest me; to develop and hone skills that allow me to do more, for myself and others; and to take on tasks that allow me to use my knowledge and skills to accomplish (contribute) things that are important to me, and to develop my skills further.
 

Maou

Mythos
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
6,117
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
INTP 4w5

1) Significance
2) Growth
3) Contribution
4) Uncertainty/Variety
5) Connection/Love
6) Certainty/security.

I seek significance in life, but that cannot be obtained without effort. Learning, and evolving is what helps me achieve that. Through effort, also comes contribution, and significance can be derived from people's reactions to what I contribute. But sometimes, my contributions are plague with self-doubt. So I constantly try to spice things up and do different approaches to see if anything works better. Connection/love and security is where I retreat to, when I am beaten up by the storm of life. To seek inspiration to stoke the fires of passion once more, and continue to fight the everlasting battle.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Connection/Love
Significance

in that order

ISFP E4 sx/sp
 

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,414
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
1)Certainty/Security
2)Uncertainty/Variety
3)Significance
4)Connection/Love
5)Growth
6)Contribution

Significance and growth.

- Please list your MBTI, enneatype, and/or varients if possible.

All in my profile.

- If you want to explain how you get these needs met, that would be awesome too.

I don't think that I get my need for significance met, although I attempt to do so by cultivating my passions and trying to be the best in them that I can be. I'm doing a poor job, but I desire so much to be valued for doing something meaningful, not necessarily by the world but by the people I value. I don't consider myself to be very worthwhile, so I long for others to find me significant in their lives.

Growth is important because I need to be constantly changing for the better. If I'm staying as the same loser I already am, might as well not exist. Improvement for me is very slow as it is hard, but I try to better myself through a lot of self-reflection and actually trying to make these changes. It's usually one step forward and two back, but I need to try. And I think I am at the very least better now than I've been, although so far from where I want to be.

- And do you think your needs have changed over time?

I think these two have been pretty stagnant as more important for me than the others throughout my life.
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6,124
MBTI Type
FELV
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
946

Pretty hard to choose, but I'm going to say growth and variety. Growth I see as learning new skills, and unlocking my full potential. Variety, I embrace my multifaceted personality and seek out variety in my everyday life, wanting to spice things up. I've always had an adventurous spirit, but I think I would have chosen significance awhile back(over growth). When I was younger, I wanted my name to be on everyones' lips and seeked to achieve status everywhere I went. I just wanted to have a place in the world, really. Everything on this list is important really, and I still desire significance in some forms but I think now significance is a little less important as long as life's good. I think I choose growth now because I see growth as where everything starts, as well as discovering type and becoming more and more self searching. If I did want to achieve significance, I'd need to grow somehow. If I wanted to contribute more to the world I'd need to grow and embrace my talents.
 
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