- Please list your MBTI, enneatype, and/or varients if possible.
- If you want to explain how you get these needs met, that would be awesome too.
- And do you think your needs have changed over time?
Significance, Connection, Growth.
Changed over time, used to be certainty/security and contribution, then significance.
Odd, isn't it?
I get those needs met right here on TypC, didn't you know? /dripping-sarcasm>
"Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan
Becoming a better and more capable person over time. Making a tangible difference.
Not really. I think if you'd asked me this three or four years ago, I would have underestimated my need for growth, and would have put "certainty/security" as my second. But now I know what stagnation feels like, enough to know that it suffocates me like it would suffocate a fish.
Edit: Wasn't sure how to separate "significance" and "contribution" -- decided that by my working definition, "contribution" can include "significant contribution", but without the glory. I can do without the glory.
I am having a hard time figuring out if I need significance more than growth.
Like I almost feel like I'm growing if I feel significant.....does that make sense?
I don't like stagnation either though idk
I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate.
Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
"Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Eric
Growth - leaving a mark on the world would be wonderful, but what's more important to me is to become a better person whether anyone witnesses it or not, which I define as developing the courage to live by one's values with increasing integrity in the face of whatever life may bring. If you have that, the other items on the list will come easier, anyway.
Certainty - The real need is for independence, but the word "certainty" illustrates how I can overindulge in it. It isn't as healthy - more like the last remnants of a very unhealthy period - but it is a significant craving right now. What I want to be guaranteed at all times is a space in my mind untouched by other people's influence and outside concerns where I can create and process those things that are important to me, which more often than not relates to laying a claim to physical space. While everyone has the right to inner space, the boundary shouldn't need to be supported by social detachment - besides, relationships can be a muse. The implication is that others will collapse the boundary if let close, which in turn implies that I assume no choice in whether it happens. Better to develop some real resilience.
It is interesting how multiple people claim that they would have chosen certainty in the past, but either grew out of the desire or have secured it and moved on to pursuing other needs. Nothing in the world is one hundred percent certain, and it seems the very best one can do in this area is to become confident in their personal capacity to deal with the unknown. Then, the constant knowns formerly clung to are no longer needed to prop up a semblance of mental health - the real thing doesn't need training wheels - although said knowns may be nurtured purely because they are valued by the person, only if they are.
4w3 so = sp = so = sp = :P
4w5 6w7 1w2 sx/sp ⏩ ISFP
RLOAX (don't do it) ⏩ Melancholic Hufflepuff
A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung
1. Connection/Love - I try to seek out people with whom there would be mutual understanding, and people who genuinely want to love and understand rather than manipulate (you may be surprised how hard it is to find the former). I also try to stay in touch with myself / my own feelings as much as possible because, somewhat ironically, that's what allows me to empathize and connect with others.
2. Contribution -
Small-scale contributions: Contributions to people I care about come with the 1st thing I listed. I also try to be honest, thoughtful and original in my interactions with everyone (though like everyone I fail at this sometimes), as well as kind if they treat me kindly as well.
Large-scale contributions: Still working on this part. I've accepted that it may never happen. I might have to make do with making lots and lots of small differences in place of a big one.
My desire for significance in the eyes of others has decreased over time (but is still pretty prominent), while my needs for internal significance and love/connection have grown.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” - Hermann Hesse
Interesting how most of the self-typed 6s so far go with Certainty/Security. Unsurprising, but interesting.
I also don't really feel a need to contribute to anything if it doesn't relate to my personal gain as terrible as it sounds haha. Watching the world come together in unity is a beautiful thing and of course I'll do my part, but most of the time I'm just looking out for my own benefit. A bit selfish, I know.
Oh, and my needs have changed over time. But I'm only 18. As a child, I would have prioritized Uncertainty/Variety over Connection/Love.
Oh thanks for this response! Very interesting.
The part in the bold, I really relate. I think it's a 7 thing (Or maybe just a young thing?) But I would also think a need for contribution would be related to so doms... Funny.
And I don't think it's selfish or terrible sounding btws. That's why I love finding these things out...cause we can really come to an understanding of how people tick, from a perspective of non-judgment. - We are who we are, prefer what we prefer, and need what we need.