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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    More generally I have the perception that a lot of people don't consider themselves free citizens. Their whole day, week, year is composed by a long string of pre-programmed obligations (I am excluding work from the equation since you obviously need money to survive).
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
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    It's hard for me to answer this question as I don't even pay attention to social rules. Here are some that I've broken...people have told me "normal people don't do that".

    Sitting with a complete stranger, because you didn't want to be alone. (Usually you have to be friends..lol)
    Telling women you want to have sex with them, because you want to have sex with them. (Usually there are steps involved...idk..)
    Being not sober in sober society. (It's a lot more fun, though...)
    Dancing and singing in the middle of the day. (I do this a lot...people usually look at me like I'm strange. I'm like...uh...this is happening. Life. I'm enjoying it...so whatever...)
    Making mean and awkward jokes, just for laughs. (Apparently, my humor is mean )
    Apparently going out at night is generally not accepted...but, unless I have some sort of obligation, I fall asleep when I'm tired, and wake up when I'm not. So, sometimes I'll be wide awake at 3 in the morning, and want to go outside. But no one is up. (I should move to ny to avoid that problem, I guess..)

    Also...my last gf...she had a habit of saying hi to literally everyone she met. Everyone. I couldn't even ride the bus with her, it was horrible. I mean, I got used to it...and I actually ended up liking her more because of it...but at first. Every single person she'd meet, she'd greet. lol i miss her

  3. #13
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Hazing and any other ritual that causes others to become a social pariah, laughing stock, scape goat or outcast while maintaining the 'clique' - and the subsequents 'either you conform to our rules whether they be fair or not, or you get rejected' attitude that follows to continue the power abuse.

    Used to be that tribes had to shun the unfamiliar and defend their culture - I'd like to think we've grown out of that. But the behaviours that resulted from that instinct still exist for God only knows what reason.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    The concept of "fashionably late". I do not get it, I will never get it, and I refuse to do it. If you tell me the party starts at 8, I will be there exactly at 8.
    I think the idea is supposed to be that you were coming from somewhere - you are so in vogue and in demand - but in truth I think it mostly ends up just being a convenience/courtesy to the hosts and hostesses who could probably benefit from an extra 5 minutes of getting everything ready.

    The way I understand it, though, I only follow that rule of thumb when it's a small house party. If it's an event where an activity is taking place, I'll show up right on time, and as far as I have experienced many large non-formal parties tend to be drop-in anyway, so you can come and leave at any point.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith
    Hazing and any other ritual that causes others to become a social pariah, laughing stock, scape goat or outcast while maintaining the 'clique' - and the subsequents 'either you conform to our rules whether they be fair or not, or you get rejected' attitude that follows to continue the power abuse.
    Hazing is interesting. I have been hazed, and it was actually a positive experience for me. It was fun and a little bit stressful, but no one was threatened or harmed. We were told repeatedly that we would never be put in any danger - and we never were - and people kept a close eye on the individuals they thought would be more likely to get scared. However, I have read horrific accounts of totally inhumane hazing, too.

    To be honest, I don't think the idea in and of itself is terrible. I think it's probably much harder for someone who hasn't been through it to understand why people who have been through it often support it. When you're joining a large and/or longstanding group, especially one of a more private nature where trust and confidence is very important, it can be hard to overcome the hurdle of "outsider" to "insider", and rituals like hazing can help get through that, because "proves" that you have overcome the trial and are worthy, and it also creates a shared experience with high emotion (stressful situations have been scientifically demonstrated to create deeper relationship bonding) between oneself and the others going through it. It actually can counteract forced conformity, because once you've gone through it, it automatically makes you a "real" member, and everyone seems to respect that. It's like a transitional ritual to bring you from the outside in.

    That said, in recent years my sorority and many others have taken a black-and-white stance against hazing because the abuses of it have just become too many and too dangerous. It's been taken wayyyy too far. We do still have outside-to-inside ceremonies - "initiation" and the like. But that is a beautiful, formal ceremony that I would be proud to show anyone, were it not secret. I think the dividing line is the intentional creation of distress in people, which is completely unnecessary. Bonding can be done in better ways.

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Im for the theory of it, for sure. But honestly - I've only ever seen it be abused and I'd never willingly subject myself to it, *unless* I already knew the people of that group enough to trust them - and that kind of defeats the point
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh please start with not wearing pants in public. that would be so entertaining. also this whole politeness with not sitting with strangers should go. all these people avoiding each other out of politeness for personal space or whatever. so not fun.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    A minor one: the notion that you have to say "have a nice day" anytime you have a short exchange with an acquaintance or stranger. There's politeness (like saying "please" and "thank you"), and then there's just blatant insincerity. It always makes me cringe to hear it, and especially to actually say it.

  8. #18
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Im for the theory of it, for sure. But honestly - I've only ever seen it be abused and I'd never willingly subject myself to it, *unless* I already knew the people of that group enough to trust them - and that kind of defeats the point
    Lol, yeah, that's true. For us the people subjecting us to it (~10 people) were close to us and trusted, and so it was more about getting "in" with everyone else (~40 people). But it was silly and fun, not anything awful or dangerous. One girl did freak out and threaten to sue everyone, lol, and they had to walk her out of the situation and talk to her. She ended up quitting the group kind of spitefully later so I'm not really sure what to say about her, besides that I really liked her but she was one heck of a fireball. Probably ESFP 7w8 sx/so.

  9. #19
    cool cat Freesia's Avatar
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    Small talk. I wish you could just stand in companionable silence with people without it being awkward. I also don't like how it's considered rude to take the last piece of food, so it just sits there while everyone looks at it longingly. Not being able to wear pajamas outside. And it would be really nice if it were socially acceptable to sing and dance in public randomly. Everyone would be so much happier.

    "Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high.
    Then life seems almost enchanted after all."
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    - Wearing a bikini suit in public is okay, but wearing a bra and panties is gasp-worthy. Wut? Women's bathing suits get scantier, while men's bathing suits get more and more baggy, with time.

    - Criticizing religious faiths is on par with committing the taboo of racism, sexism, etc. Why?

    - Brides-to-be and groom-to-be both get bachelorette/bachelor's party. Bride gets a bridal shower. Nothing for the groom? Baby shower - again, women. What about the fathers? What if it's a same-sex relationship?

    - A lot of other stuff with gender roles.

    - A white dude in USA is an American. A black dude in USA is African-American. Default is white.

    - Responding when you have nothing to say, but because they contacted you, it's good "etiquette" to respond back.

    - Wearing black at a funeral? Bride wearing white at a wedding? (Western cultural rules)

    - White after labour day?

    - Tipping

    - "ought", "ought", "ought"....IS.

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