dropping hints vs being direct

[prplchknz]

Like what's the advantage to dropping hints? it seems like it would cause more frustration in the long run. People can't read your mind, just say what you need to, and move on, if they don't like it, that's their problem. I'm sorry it just seems like a coward thing to do. maybe there are times when simply dropping hints is a good idea. I can't think of any.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

In my experience, it's part of some manipulation. People want you to think that you thought of an idea yourself, and become more supporting of the idea. You're getting someone used to the idea of something so that they're more accepting of it. Or, it's not really dropping hints. It's testing out someone's acceptability of an idea maybe?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Being direct all the time would make interaction incredibly boring

 

[prplchknz]

In my experience, it's part of some manipulation. People want you to think that you thought of an idea yourself, and become more supporting of the idea. You're getting someone used to the idea of something so that they're more accepting of it. Or, it's not really dropping hints. It's testing out someone's acceptability of an idea maybe?

not telling someone, what the problem is dropping hints.

Being direct all the time would make interaction incredibly boring

no it wouldn't.

 

[Giggly]

I think it was the great Victor (forgot what his name is now) who said that being direct is the death of seduction. I think there are appropriate times to be direct and appropriate times to be indirect. Of course, no one can be perfect in always getting the timing correct.

 

[Mal12345]

Like what's the advantage to dropping hints? it seems like it would cause more frustration in the long run. People can't read your mind, just say what you need to, and move on, if they don't like it, that's their problem. I'm sorry it just seems like a coward thing to do. maybe there are times when simply dropping hints is a good idea. I can't think of any.

I don't know that it's cowardly, so much as implying, "I want this to be YOUR idea and not MINE; just in case, I'll drop a few hints just to make sure."

 

[johnnyyukon]

being direct is the death of seduction.

This.

And are we talking about in romantic dealings only, or in social interactions in general? In business, dropping hints to get things done is probably going to end in a bankrupt business.

If it's in pleasant social interactions, drop hints first, then be direct. You don't want to come off as a dick unless you have to.

 

[prplchknz]

This.

And are we talking about in romantic dealings only, or in social interactions in general? In business, dropping hints to get things done is probably going to end in a bankrupt business.

If it's in pleasant social interactions, drop hints first, then be direct. You don't want to come off as a dick unless you have to.

dropping hints is a waste of time. and I mean with friends, and i'd rather have directness instead of some passive agressive bullshit/

 

[johnnyyukon]

dropping hints is a waste of time. and I mean with friends, and i'd rather have directness instead of some passive agressive bullshit/

Well, so what's stopping you?

 

[prplchknz]

Well, so what's stopping you?

I am direct, I'm referring to other people. I have no situation currently that I need to be direct.

 

[johnnyyukon]

I am direct, I'm referring to other people. I have no situation currently that I need to be direct.

So say you're at a checkout line and the cashier is an older lady and is taking forever. Would you be honest and direct and say "Hey, can you hurry it up already, granny??"

 

[prplchknz]

So say you're at a checkout line and the cashier is an older lady and is taking forever. Would you be honest and direct and say "Hey, can you hurry it up already, granny??"

no I wouldn't

 

[Werebudgie]

no I wouldn't

What would you say/do?

 

[prplchknz]

What would you say/do?

nothing, I'm never gonna see the person again.

 

[á´…eparted]

I try and be extremely tactful with others. When I am dropping hints, it's because it seems like the situation best calls for it, when I am direct, then it seems that the situation best calls for it. I prefer to be direct. It's much easier and I feel better about it. That said, I find myself being subtle while dropping hints more often.

 

[prplchknz]

I try and be extremely tactful with others. When I am dropping hints, it's because it seems like the situation best calls for it, when I am direct, then it seems that the situation best calls for it. I prefer to be direct. It's much easier and I feel better about it. That said, I find myself being subtle while dropping hints more often.

I suck at being subtle, maybe that's why I hate it.

 

[garbage]

Like what's the advantage to dropping hints? it seems like it would cause more frustration in the long run. People can't read your mind, just say what you need to, and move on, if they don't like it, that's their problem. I'm sorry it just seems like a coward thing to do.

All of this.

maybe there are times when simply dropping hints is a good idea. I can't think of any.

This is a stretch: But when someone doesn't know you so well--acquaintances, etc.--and would translate "being blunt" as "being an asshole," sometimes it's necessary to package your message in a way that they will actually receive it. Those who know and trust you should have less of a problem with you being direct--or at least they should be.

 

[garbage]

Like what's the advantage to dropping hints? it seems like it would cause more frustration in the long run. People can't read your mind, just say what you need to, and move on, if they don't like it, that's their problem. I'm sorry it just seems like a coward thing to do.

All of this.

maybe there are times when simply dropping hints is a good idea. I can't think of any.

This is a stretch: But when someone doesn't know you so well--acquaintances, etc.--and would translate "being blunt" as "being an asshole," sometimes it's necessary to package your message in a way that they will actually receive it. Those who know and trust you should have less of a problem with you being direct--or at least they should be.

 

[Elfboy]

Being direct all the time would make interaction incredibly boring

it would also solve 70% of people's communication related problems. overcomplicating things just for the sake of keeping them "interesting" is stupid and counter productive

 

[prplchknz]

it would also solve 70% of people's communication related problems. overcomplicating things just for the sake of keeping them "interesting" is stupid and counter productive

I find keeping things "interesting" annoying and it usually ends me being like why didn't you just say that? When I find out what it actually is