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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    ... Finally she was like "did you notice, I stopped saying good morning?" and I was like "no" and she told me how it's considered polite to say good morning even if you don't feel like it. or someone will drop a hint about something I shouldn't do, I'll completely miss the hint, and piss them off, and 9 out of 10 times, they'll assume I'm just being defiant. sometimes I get the hints, not all the time. It's just I feel worse, because even though I can be a social fuck up, I really don't want to be.
    Ha ha, this totally reminds me of conversational confusion that will happen with me and my so/sx husband (or that he'll tell me about with his friends). This is totally a social first vs social last thing.

  2. #82
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    That said, I do pick up hints in other, more casual/playful situations. This is just lighthearted banter for the most part and has no unspoken negative undertones. I do tend to use the phrase "there's a little truth in every 'just kidding'" if I feel that there is though. It tends to gently do the trick.
    If I know the person well I can pick up on stuff like that most of the time. But if I barely hang out or we're friends but not super close I often miss stuff like that.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #83
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    I was thinking on this, and I think one of the reasons I have issues with indirectness is, more than once some one has tried dropping hints. And I don't notice, so I keep doing what's making them mad. And when they are finally direct with me, I feel ten times worse, than if they were just upfront.
    The issue here, is that you're an INFP. You're not expected to pick up on subtle cues. An ENTP, like myself, is FINELY attuned to them, and it has only increased as I've matured (well ENTPs actually get more childish as they grow but you know what I mean).

    You could work on it, but you can probably do only so much. ENTPs are naturally focused externally, it's easy. But I find that the fault lies not with you, but people who just don't take the time to understand kinda who you are and how you operate. There's probably really nothing you need to change, just, if someone thinks you're some kind of dick for not noticing there hints, that's THEIR problem for not understanding you. IMO, anyway.

  4. #84
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    The issue here, is that you're an INFP. You're not expected to pick up on subtle cues. An ENTP, like myself, is FINELY attuned to them, and it has only increased as I've matured (well ENTPs actually get more childish as they grow but you know what I mean).

    You could work on it, but you can probably do only so much. ENTPs are naturally focused externally, it's easy. But I find that the fault lies not with you, but people who just don't take the time to understand kinda who you are and how you operate. There's probably really nothing you need to change, just, if someone thinks you're some kind of dick for not noticing there hints, that's THEIR problem for not understanding you. IMO, anyway.
    I keep fe people on retainer for this reason
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #85
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Being direct has its place, however, so does dropping hints.

    Dropping hints, in its broadest sense, can be so much fun. The subtlety of it. It can almost become poetic within an interaction. Like a dance.

    It can be flirty. It can be quixotic. It can reveal those who pick up on the subtleties laid out, just so, to fill in the blanks. And then you revel in it; in the fact that the other was astute enough, to pick up on it, and volley it back, in the same vein. It's like communicating in a language, in the middle of a crowded street, that only the two of you know.

  6. #86
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qrious View Post
    Being direct has its place, however, so does dropping hints.

    Dropping hints, in its broadest sense, can be so much fun. The subtlety of it. It can almost become poetic within an interaction. Like a dance.

    It can be flirty. It can be quixotic. It can reveal those who pick up on the subtleties laid out, just so, to fill in the blanks. And then you revel in it; in the fact that the other was astute enough, to pick up on it, and volley it back, in the same vein. It's like communicating in a language, in the middle of a crowded street, that only the two of you know.
    ^this. I'm only indirect when I'm flirting or teasing someone. Otherwise, I'm pretty direct. Few things make me more nuts than being indirect because I associate it with being passive-aggressive and I find that so damn frustrating.

  7. #87
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I keep fe people on retainer for this reason
    Lol yup, same. My INFJ posse is the best.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  8. #88
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Lol yup, same. My INFJ posse is the best.
    Yup
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #89
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Japan has an exquisitely indirect culture.

  10. #90
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    I keep fe people on retainer for this reason
    Weren't you an INFP a few hours ago?
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

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