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  1. #51
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    Yeah I can do this sometimes, but it's important for me to know the other person's into it too. I usually try to read their mood or sometimes ask outright. Depends on the person and the situation.

    I agree with what @skylights said too. It's nice to have company and like ongoing intermittent interactions. They feel casual and comforting.
    I totally agree with what you're saying too about wanting to be sure the other person is into it. I don't want to be a burden on someone else.

    (Edit, add-on, sorry) I wonder @Giggly, does your friend realize you're not into it too and that it's draining for you? Maybe she thinks it's pleasing to you as well and doesn't realize that it's not a good experience for you.

  2. #52
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Ummm... well...

    It was a romantic relationship...

    And we were long distance...

    It actually felt rather incredible...

    In how she was able to so easily pick up on my feelings...

    Like, it was unnaturally telepathic...

    So that part was cool...

    But sometimes it got to be too much...

    Felt like she was a succubus draining me of my life essence...

    Like an alien parasite sitting on top of my head sucking my brain thru my skull...
    Did you like it if you sat on the phone in silence?

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I totally agree with what you're saying too about wanting to be sure the other person is into it. I don't want to be a burden on someone else.
    Me neither.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Did you like it if you sat on the phone in silence?
    Sometimes.

    I mean, we would always spend crazy amounts of time on the phone (6-12 hours, easy).

    If we sat in silence, it would usually be because I was going to bed.

  4. #54
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    (Edit, add-on, sorry) I wonder @Giggly, does your friend realize you're not into it too and that it's draining for you? Maybe she thinks it's pleasing to you as well and doesn't realize that it's not a good experience for you.
    It's not that bad. I usually find a way to deal with it. I was mostly just wondering why.

  5. #55
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Despite me needing time alone and her EXPERIENCING this from me, she laughs at me when I tell her that I'm an introvert and says "No you're not". She mistakes me being super talkative and happy when I am wanting to be around people for extroversion.
    That sucks. I would probably start distancing myself if I were you but that's just me.

  6. #56
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    I didn't read the whole thread, just the original post.

    I think she's just really lonely, bored and needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    INTJ?

    Hah.

  7. #57
    deplorable basketcase Tellenbach's Avatar
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    This is fascinating. I haven't heard of such behavior, but some of the answers have helped me understand this song lyric:

    "O.k. so no--ones answering,
    Well can't you just let it ring a little longer
    Ill just sit tight, through the shadows of the night
    Let it ring for evermore." Jeff Lynne (Telephone Line, ELO)

    I think someone hit the nail on the head with the "social dependency" idea. There is a connection between you two even though you aren't speaking and even though the lady in the song isn't picking up the phone.
    Senator Rand Paul is alive because of modern medicine and because his attacker punches like a girl.

  8. #58
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Sometimes I like to do this.. but not if it's going to annoy others. I do it more when I lack friends to hang out with a constant basis. Or if I'm dating someone long distance, its nice to just watch TV together, or youtube videos or something.. even though it isn't active talking time, it still tells a lot and it's things you would normally do if you were in person so it feels more natural.

    I wish I had a chick friend that wanted to talk to me this much I'm doomed to forever only have acquaintance girlfriends.

    Have you just told her you don't like it?
    If so.. Maybe you can just put time restraints at the start of the calls you do decide to take? "Hey, I've got about 15 minutes before I [insert excuse here], or I'm waiting for so and so to call so I might have to go soon, but what's up?" Then 15 minutes later, say you have to go. I have to do this with some people, and its pretty understandable and easy.
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  9. #59
    Just a note... LittleV's Avatar
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    My ESTJ sister does this, and sometimes I would in return, while waiting (might as well make use of that 'time'). I think it does have to do with wanting company (state loneliness)… but it might only happen if you'd also believe that the person you'd be making wait cares for/loves you unconditionally (enough). She wouldn't do this with her friends; she knows that I wouldn't bail on her for being unengaging at times. However, this might also have to do with (certain aspects) of Extraversion; when you're so used to being around people and/or having background noise… you could get anxious when alone. More severely: there could be some issues of dependency there (not necessarily clinically) and/or trait loneliness (there's a gene for this). Regardless, it sounds like she trusts your loyalty.

  10. #60
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleV View Post
    My ESTJ sister does this, and sometimes I would in return, while waiting (might as well make use of that 'time'). I think it does have to do with wanting company (state loneliness)… but it might only happen if you'd also believe that the person you'd be making wait cares for/loves you unconditionally (enough). She wouldn't do this with her friends; she knows that I wouldn't bail on her for being unengaging at times. However, this might also have to do with (certain aspects) of Extraversion; when you're so used to being around people and/or having background noise… you could get anxious when alone. More severely: there could be some issues of dependency there (not necessarily clinically) and/or trait loneliness (there's a gene for this). Regardless, it sounds like she trusts your loyalty.
    Yes, I think this is it.

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