User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 22

  1. #11
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Interesting theories Edahn, but nothing I relate to. Either I'm a total freak, or it's just you that works that way. Or some other, third thing.

    In a way I see anger as a sort of neurosis. It's when the world somehow fails to live up to your expectations, and rather than accept and adapt, you rant and rave against it, and the longer reality refuses to bend to your will, the angrier you get.

    Of course, I don't get angry much, cos I actually do control reality.:SaiyanSmilie_anim:
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #12
    Member hiddengem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    People who are insecure or fearful in the core level have trouble experiencing the vulnerability brought on by sadness and usually will resort to anger to relieve the anxiety and pain.
    This really resonated with me on a personal level. Which in turn is responsible for my opinions as stated below.

    Why do people get angry?

    I think a lot of anger is really fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of people or ideas that are different, fear of our own emotions.

    How does one resolve anger?

    I don't think many people do. They see someone else or something else as the cause and therefore don't realize that they have issues that should be addressed. A "It's not my problem, but their problem" attitude.

    In addition, I think society teaches that anger is a violent/negative emotion that should be avoided, especially in women.

  3. #13
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    [QUOTE=ThatsWhatHeSaid;250517]As I see it now, anger is a reaction to sadness in the majority, if not all cases. I believe that things trigger sad moods in us, anger arises as a technique to push away the sadness, and we use our anger to "touch" that sadness thereby deflating the anger, either by exposing sadness in someone else and reflecting it, or by needling our own feelings.
    QUOTE]

    I agree partially but my assessment is different.

    Sadness is a result of issues you feel you cannot control. That loss of control and feeling bad create a feeling of helplessness and can throw you off balance. Helplessness = sad.

    Anger is a misplaced attempt by your psyche to stand up for yourself and 'take back' the situation. However, the anger is usually not 'rationally' justified (can you really be mad at the universe and 'make' it do anything?) and is taken out on undeserving parties. Or comes out passive-aggressive or plain destructive.

    A very dangerous combination is a feeling of entitlement coupled with anger/sadness. Basically feeling that somehow your happiness (and internal value) was robbed from you because of [fill in the blank] Not helpful.

    Extreme feelings of entitlement make people feel EXTREMELY PISSED that they are feeling sad. Because they feel they should live a blessed life.

    Otherwise, I don't think anger/sadness necessarily follows one path. Sometimes it's the anger first, sometimes sadness -- it's almost impossible to cleanly delineate and trace feelings and measure them against the other.

    Anger makes you sad partly because of simple chemical reactions. Anger really depletes a lot of energy, it leaves you feeling drained. It takes away your psychic buffer and protective mechanisms that let you not feel the disappointments, hurt, etc. that we all have experienced and carry inside ourselves to some extent. After you get realy angry and release some negative emotion, you're simply too tired to lie to yourself anymore about how you feel.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  4. #14
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    Interesting responses so far.

    One of the keys to this mystery is how anger deflects anxiety. They're incompatible, such that anger forces anxiety out. People seek refuge in their anger because, I think, it leads to self-sufficiency, which cuts a person's attachments, and therefore, their anxieties. I think the self-sufficiency has to do with staring down depression and not being afraid to confront it. You're already there, and that's probably why you got angry in the first place. (CzeCze, I still think that in most cases, pain precedes anger, not vice versa.) You can sense this in people who have been depressed or who are currently depressed. They're very aggressive with their humor, tone, and/or body language because they're not as afraid of getting rejected or experiencing discomfort. They have a certain familiarity with it that others want to avoid. So, they can make all sorts of threats that steer the interaction towards crisis and rely on the other person to compromise.

  5. #15
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    They have a certain familiarity with it that others want to avoid. So, they can make all sorts of threats that steer the interaction towards crisis and rely on the other person to compromise.
    Actually, I think that is both a cry for help and also a sign that they're losing perspective. It can also be a misguided source of pride, a badge of honor, and revealing a chip on their shoulder.

    Once your mindset is always negative, angry, and sad -- you can't help but spit it out at others. You don't quite realize how harsh or socially inappropriate it is. I think you also want someone to realize how much distress you are in and honestly just give you a hug and an ear. Basically you want other people to help you feel better. Also, when you're really bad off, you can't but help find humor in it. It's bitter humor.

    I think partly it's the 'misery loves company' idea too, except that in this case, people want to make you feel just as bad as them.

    All 'moods' more or less are self-absorbed and spread. When you're happy and in a good mood, you naturally spread that good mood around. When you're tense, you spread that energy around and can make other people stressed. Etc.

    There is an ugly violent quality about some anger/sadness that does not sit well with me. I think when you get so wrapped up in your own issues and pain/anger, that you begin to develop your self-identity around it. You try to make yourself feel better, but instead of addressing the root issue, you begin to take pride in how depressed/angry/sad you are. I.E. How 'tough minded' and 'realistic' etc. you are compared to all those other silly people who are happy for no reason. You also can get resentful and get a chip on your shoulder. You get very self-absorbed and have this assumption that if only other mere mortals knew how bad you had it, they would be awed, destroyed, or just supremely sympathetic to you.

    Wrong.

    However, your mental state can get twisted with pain/anger to the point you want to lash out at others.

    I think anger/sadness are primal emotions and they can really knock out all the social/psychological/psychic tools and buffers mature adults create for themselves. Chronic sadness/anger the way you describe can make you revert to a more infantile, vulnerable state, possibly following Maslow's hierarchy. You simply are focusing on just getting by emotionally day by day.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #16
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    You can sense this in people who have been depressed or who are currently depressed. They're very aggressive with their humor, tone, and/or body language because they're not as afraid of getting rejected or experiencing discomfort. They have a certain familiarity with it that others want to avoid. So, they can make all sorts of threats that steer the interaction towards crisis and rely on the other person to compromise.
    Also -- I'm not sure what kind/how many 'depressed' people you know. I have a friend whose been clinically depressed and has been on a cocktail of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for years. She's the opposite of aggressive, extremely timid and nervous and she knows this. So does everyone else who knows her. She does blurt out VERY socially inappropriate things sometimes related to her depression, but she's also INTP. LOL.

    Again, I think chronically depressed people can become aggressive when they are crying out for help or the other way around.

    Truly depressed people give up, let themselves go, and fall off the grid.

    Sometimes, it looks 'aggressive' to see someone let themselves go to such an extent and seem flippant about social mores. It's not aggression, IMO, they're just too far gone to realize where the boundaries of 'normal' are anymore.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #17
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    ...
    In a way I see anger as a sort of neurosis. It's when the world somehow fails to live up to your expectations, and rather than accept and adapt, you rant and rave against it, and the longer reality refuses to bend to your will, the angrier you get.
    Of course, I don't get angry much, cos I actually do control reality.:SaiyanSmilie_anim:
    I see a lot of truth in what you have said.

  8. #18
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Why do people get angry?

    How does one resolve anger?
    ...
    I don't have time to go into a great big essay, so let me just say that I am just addressing ONE ASPECT of anger for ME.

    When I experience anger as depression, it usually means that I am HURT in some way.
    The way I resolve that anger is to GRIEVE the loss I feel, by going through the Grieving Process. If a person has hurt me, I have to forgive them as part of that process. At the end, I am recovered and am able to invest in life again.

  9. #19
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,313

    Default

    I like this thread a lot. I'm gonna approach this from a neuroscientific perspective and say that fear, anger, sadness, depression, etc. are not specific or stereotypical to any complex situation. The experience and expression of emotion is mediated by the amygdala. In addition to sensory stimuli, it also recieves input from all over the neocortex, including the "higher" brain regions involved in learning and memory, motivation, reasoning, blah blah. This input makes it highly dependent on personal experience, such that Situation X could make Person 1 angry, and have no effect whatsoever on Person 2.

    Shortcut: The neural projections to and from the amygdala are complex and personalized. Therefore, you're not going to be able to come up with a stereotypical pathway that arouses fear/anger/sadness in 90% of the human population (again, I'm refering to experiences beyond the instinctive: "Dude's pointing a gun to my head. I feel fear."). Yeah, just wanted to bring a physical POV to the varying sources and reactions to anger, etc.

    Now, I shall try once again to sleep through my insomnia.

  10. #20
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    I like this thread a lot. I'm gonna approach this from a neuroscientific perspective and say that fear, anger, sadness, depression, etc. are not specific or stereotypical to any complex situation. The experience and expression of emotion is mediated by the amygdala. In addition to sensory stimuli, it also recieves input from all over the neocortex, including the "higher" brain regions involved in learning and memory, motivation, reasoning, blah blah. This input makes it highly dependent on personal experience, such that Situation X could make Person 1 angry, and have no effect whatsoever on Person 2.

    Shortcut: The neural projections to and from the amygdala are complex and personalized. Therefore, you're not going to be able to come up with a stereotypical pathway that arouses fear/anger/sadness in 90% of the human population (again, I'm refering to experiences beyond the instinctive: "Dude's pointing a gun to my head. I feel fear."). Yeah, just wanted to bring a physical POV to the varying sources and reactions to anger, etc.

    Now, I shall try once again to sleep through my insomnia.
    Sorry about your insomnia.
    Have you tried milk?

Similar Threads

  1. anger transfer in a nf relationship
    By entropie in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-21-2011, 12:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO