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  1. #51
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    Pride..
    and fear of rejection.

  2. #52
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    and fear of rejection.
    Mhmm.

  3. #53
    Member JustAMind's Avatar
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    fear of failure/rejection seems to be most often cause, only speaking from my own experience with people I am no doctor

  4. #54
    Insert witty line here... Ponyboy's Avatar
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    *skipped 5 pages so I have no idea what I missed* Most people are more than happy to help others yet afraid to ask for help themselves. It seems to be seen as some sort of "weakness". I have no issue asking for help. I learned a long time ago that if you are willing to help others than you deserve to be helped. I'm not talking about living life on the dole but more in the sense that everybody needs a hand once in a while. The best example I can think of right now is at work, I have absolutely no qualms about asking for help. The way I figure is if I don't know something then it will be a learning experience. I have also asked for help with things I could do easily on my own. That's just a sneaky way to make people feel included, wanted, & necessary....which is pretty much what life is all about. Life is better with teammates!
    I'm never wrong, I'm just sometimes less right

  5. #55
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    Don't ask for the source, but statistically, people view you more favorably having done you favors.

    You could speculate on it a bit, perhaps it is an ego thing, fulfillment of being needed?

    I know I go out of my way to help people out, it truly is a drug-type high, knowing I facilitated some sort of ease for another.
    good point, and i try to remind myself of that too when i'm feeling that way.

    i do have a tendency to 'wanna do it myself', but once i realize i need help, i'm actually pretty good at overcoming whatever kind of fear is in the way of that and just asking. it's not a huge problem in my life, but when fears do creep up, i'm usually dealing with the fear of burdening others over fear of rejection. (e2?)
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #56
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    Don't ask for the source, but statistically, people view you more favorably having done you favors.

    You could speculate on it a bit, perhaps it is an ego thing, fulfillment of being needed?

    I know I go out of my way to help people out, it truly is a drug-type high, knowing I facilitated some sort of ease for another.
    aww. you kinda melted my heart a little bit there jon.
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

  7. #57
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    i don't fear people saying no as much as i fear them saying yes and actually being put out or annoyed by it. wish people would just say what they mean so i didn't have to worry about that kinda stuff.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I can't speak for everyone, but I have not asked for many things I want. It's because I hate feeling like I am in anyone's debt. I like being in the black socially.
    Yes I can relate to that.

    I try to create as much good will as I can if I ever ask for something from others. Expressing my sincere enjoyment and/or gratitude, and trying to do something nice for the other person at some point soon in the future. For example, getting a ride from someone: shorter trips, I try to bring a lil treat or get them a beer or something like that, longer ones, I give gas money as well, and try to be a good, helpful, passenger as much as possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    but i'm always willing to commit favors, if I like you. and if i asked for a bite of your burrito it means i like you, because i'm taking the time to spend time with you and talk to you
    Yeah I feel the same... when you like someone, you just inherently WANT to do nice things for them
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  8. #58
    garbage
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    Feeling like an unnecessary burden. Being an unnecessary burden. Unfairly shoving a responsibility of yours onto someone else. Wanting to grow and learn for yourself in some area that you think you need help in. Fear of rejection. Ego. Fear that you will then owe the person who helps.

    Take your pick.

  9. #59
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garbage View Post
    Feeling like an unnecessary burden. Being an unnecessary burden. Unfairly shoving a responsibility of yours onto someone else. Wanting to grow and learn for yourself in some area that you think you need help in. Fear of rejection. Ego. Fear that you will then owe the person who helps.

    Take your pick.
    so wait, I'm a bad person, because I ask?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #60
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by garbage View Post
    Feeling like an unnecessary burden. Being an unnecessary burden. Unfairly shoving a responsibility of yours onto someone else. Wanting to grow and learn for yourself in some area that you think you need help in. Fear of rejection. Ego. Fear that you will then owe the person who helps.

    Take your pick.
    so wait, I'm a bad person, because I ask?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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