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  1. #51
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Oh, I am well aware (personally and intellectually) that this detachment it is extremely hard to accomplish. That is why Taoism & Buddhism exist. It is a lifetime struggle. What I was addressing was that it is not a denial of these emotions which one should seek, but rather an awareness, an observation of them, so that you have greater perspective.. and this perspective will aid your growth in the direction of genuine detachment..

    The more experience you have with going through the motions of being subjected to the will of your ego, the more inclined you will be in the future to acknowledge and move forward before your ego even has a chance to get involved! Now, of course there are scenarios in which it is impossible and unadvisable to deny yourself feeling and emotional involvement... but I am really addressing the more miniscule, daily situations in which one need not be bothered by involvement.

    This is a very abstract concept to me, and it's a bit hard to put into words..

    What I am saying is that it takes a form of self control to be able and willing to see through the delusions that the ego presents to the self. The ego wants to protect itself and its power at all costs. It can take a hold of a self improvement program and easily manipulate it around to serve the protection and promotion needs of the ego. So it takes work to be able to consciously detach from these self protection mechanisms. The ego is constantly working to perfect its protection mechanisms, as the self learns and becomes more sophistocated so does the ego. Often people deepest into New Age type programs have the most overweaning egos and are full of how holy and pure they are.

  2. #52
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Indeed...

    Which presents the enjoyable opportunity for daily training to defeat this eternal nemesis (which, as you stated, is impossible, and so there is always a ripe challenge). Never a dull moment.

  3. #53
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    My super-ego was overdeveloped like a straight jacket because of the strict religious training I received. (I feel that Jennifer and I have that in common.)

    But my husband's delight and confidence in me freed me and made me feel like I was something good even though I'm not something flawless. He seems to barely think of my flaws as flaws at all.

    So I think sexuality has soothed and nurtured my ego.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #54
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    From what I understand the ego is the voice that says "You can do it!" when courage faluters and it is also the part of us that wants to protect ourselves, our own individual being at any cost. By its own definition it is the one, the I, selfish. I am not sure how one would expand that in any heathy way.
    In the vernacular, when I first heard the word "ego" used, it was always in reference to the negative: "Oh, S/HE has a BIG ego" or "what a ego trip," etc.

    When I finally ran across Freud, I realized the ego did not have to be negative. Freud's general concept was that the self, the ego, was the mediator between the compulsive greediness of the ID and the harsh discipline of the Superego. If you didn't have a mature ego, you were at the mercy of either one or the other of those forces.

    [For myself, my "ego" or sense of self was crushed from an early age and my superego was in charge... which left me in bad shape for years and years. I had no strong mature confident "sense of self." I actually had to strengthen my ego boundaries in order to mature.]

    So I think we have different definitions, and yours sounds like it is more aligned inherently with the negative. I don't define the ego in the negative, the ego to me is one's "sense of self" and is a neutral concept.

    But what I am saying is that we do need the ego voice as cheerleader but the problem comes when people make the ego their team captain, instead of the true core so-called higher self being the leader.
    If you define the ego as someone's self-confidence or self-importance rather than merely their sense of self, then of course you would have to rein it in. I don't find that definition useful, except perhaps under a black-and-white moral code where that usage seems to be predominate and the ego itself is viewed as "bad."

    Sorry, I am probably misunderstanding your point. I'm pooped today and a little fuzzy...

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My super-ego was overdeveloped like a straight jacket because of the strict religious training I received. (I feel that Jennifer and I have that in common.)
    Yeah. Sigh. Life was guilt, and every action had to be scrutinzed. Spontaneity was beaten out.

    But my husband's delight and confidence in me freed me and made me feel like I was something good even though I'm not something flawless. He seems to barely think of my flaws as flaws at all.
    That's what I like to call... "love."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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