So the other day I read something about ESTPs using their Ti on other people, analyzing the algorithm that runs other people, but not finding the algorithm of themselves. Essentially they are loose cannons until they turn their Ti inward.
So I decided to give it a try. I realized that too often my body does what it wants and I have no control over it. My Se dominates my Ti, and my Ti is a slave to my Se.
So I began "programming" my body to do what I wanted it to do. I spent a moment of meditation focussing on activating my Ti in such a way that I control myself, almost as if I am operating myself in third person, or actually controlling my body.
So I spend the rest of the day doing this. Then at one point I had to go help my friend with his car.
Then as we are driving through, I get this moment of clarity. Suddenly I am in absolute control of my life.
In that moment, the world went from 240p to 1080p. Suddenly I understood everyone's emotions. Suddenly I stopped viewing everyone as a threat, and as a lost scared child instead. In that moment I suddenly realized my purpose in life relative to others. In that moment I saw myself standing with my friends amidst the context of the world. It suddenly felt as if we were a small group of friends huddled together for comfort amidst the blizzard outside. One girl often made it a point to talk about how badass and tough she is, an ISTJ, the other girl is kinda simple and doesn't complain much, but that's also her flaw in that she is oblivious to anything outside her narrow vision, and the ENFJ was scared and spent the rest of the night huddled with his girlfriend (his car broke down and we came to help him out), and amidst all this I stood solitary like a protective parent. I suddenly realized that I push people away from me even though they look up to me, so there is often a frustration from others, they don't know how to talk to me. They want to but I don't let them, because I never understood what they wanted. I thought they were all self centered rational beings out to live life for themselves, but suddenly realized they are all scared lost children and that they would all become absolutely loyal if I gave them that bit of love or support they were missing in their lives. For the first time I saw these people as my equals, but I didn't fully understand how. I simply felt as if I was one of them.
I didn't have this mode of perception long enough to completely understand my own weaknesses in the situation, but regardless the whole experience was eye openning.
Just wanted to share. Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Anyone know what just happened to me?
It felt like this whole time I've been walking with my head clouded, and suddenly boom, I was transported down to earth.