5w6 for the win. Yes comedy is my fallback position too. I discovered that who I am is somewhat disturbing to others as they cant relate. So I just play the funny card and at the very least people can relate to that. But it isn't who I am and its exhausting playing a role just so other people feel at ease. No-one gives a fuck how I feel. The hyprocrisy makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. Its very unpleasant to walk the planet as some kind of shadow being who has what I consider very reasonable interests that are treated like some kind of sexual disease. Come on....gardening is not the equivalent of genital herpes!
I know what you mean. At least I have friends for whom I can share some of my weirder interests with. That counts for something. But it is odd how some people get if you know too much about something other than idle gossip.
My flaws; or rather the ones I chose to ignore, until they brought me low.
But sail upon the wind of lamentation, my friends, and about your head row with your hands' rapid stroke in conveyance of the dead, that stroke which always causes the sacred slack-sailed, black-clothed ship Charon to pass over Acheron to the unseen land here Apollon does not walk, the sunless land that receives all men.
I have a hunch that being ejected from the womb was the most painful thing that I've ever experienced and everything ever since has only been an echo of it. The only way I know how I could verify that is through hypnotic regression, and I couldn't trust the process. My subconscious is a charlatan.
I think losing my dreams are the the most hurtful things, especially when those dreams are attached to people that I love. And when I have to leave those people by my own choice, with nobody else to blame. And when I realize that I live in a world where that choice needs to be made. It's nearly unrecoverable.
Probably being held to an impossible standard at a young age with some neglect by loved ones sprinkled in.