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  1. #1
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Default Be A Man - The Three Most Destructive Words For Boys (and Men)

    So I found this interesting trailer, it is called The Mask You Live In. It's basically a documentary that is coming out sometime in 2014 about pressures American society put on boys and growing adolescences.

    It's kind of funny because I can easily relate to it. The whole "Be a Man" thing and that boys/men don't cry... that I should suck it up and such... that I need to act a "certain" way.

    Many of these things are connected through societal pressures.



    Video is the same one that is on the link without the commentary.

  2. #2
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Did you read some of the comments on that video? Wow....it's pathetic to read.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  3. #3
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    I've never really been pressured to 'be a man', but I do find the whole thing awfully silly. It's better to be the one you are, that goes for all gender identities. Those who refuse to accept it should die.
    4w5-9w1-5w4

  4. #4
    Stansmith
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    True virtue is unisex. Traits often associated with masculinity such as self-confidence, resilience, and responsibility are just useful to women; as are humility and emotional intelligence for men.

  5. #5
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    True virtue is unisex. Traits often associated with masculinity such as self-confidence, resilience, and responsibility are also useful to women.
    Aye, I think that is the tragedy here. Boys are taught that masculinity is, in itself, a merit, beyond its actual functionality. If we were to decide upon beneficial traits based on criteria such as happiness and life success impartially we would find ourselves drawing from both masculine and feminine arenas. Whereas we've come to the point women and girls are now, to a greater degree, allowed to draw from the masculine well, the same can not for the most part be said to be true of boys drawing from the feminine well. That is still very much taboo.

    So we have praise put on ways of being that deny both success and the self. I'll list a few initial thoughts to maybe get things started.
    Do not be afraid or uncertain.
    Uncertainly is necessary for education and learning. We must recognize a position of uncertainty, of ignorance or inability, to agree that we need to learn as thus act on such agreement. Fear is inevitable and denial of fear will only make us behave in irrational ways, most likely directing our fear into irrational anger. "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." John Wayne - A better example of how a man or a woman should relate to fear.
    Do not feel or express emotion.
    More than anything this has an effect on life satisfaction and happiness. One needs to be able to be capable of feeling and sentiment to enjoy life's pleasures. Perhaps a lack of feeling and expression of such can aid in career success but...to what end? What is the point of having wealth or status if you can't enjoy it? Of course, society doesn't care if this is the case. It is more beneficial for society that they have their worker bees.
    Always be in control
    Either in control of oneself or others. Obviously, this is a good way to sabotage team work. It also turns any potentially nurturing relationships into dominance struggles. One in which not the strongest or most capable prevail, but the most ruthless and dishonest.
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

  6. #6
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    meh, gender roles don't make sense.

    people who think early modern moral sensibilities are absolute are dim.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rail Tracer View Post
    So I found this interesting trailer, it is called The Mask You Live In. It's basically a documentary that is coming out sometime in 2014 about pressures American society put on boys and growing adolescences.

    It's kind of funny because I can easily relate to it. The whole "Be a Man" thing and that boys/men don't cry... that I should suck it up and such... that I need to act a "certain" way.

    Many of these things are connected through societal pressures.



    Video is the same one that is on the link without the commentary.
    I was impressed enough to share this. Thanks for posting it.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  8. #8
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
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    I dislike the framing.

    Nothing wrong with being told to "be a man." It's a matter of what "being a man" entails and the context.

  9. #9
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Be an adult is more healthy....when they get that age/responsibility.
    I N V I C T U S

  10. #10
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beorn View Post
    I dislike the framing.

    Nothing wrong with being told to "be a man." It's a matter of what "being a man" entails and the context.
    There doesn't have to be anything wrong with being told to "be a man." Unfortunately, the understanding put forward by that video is that the context and what the phrase entails is equal to how they are framing the phrase. That is, that the context and entailment do in actuality imply positivity in exaggerated masculinity and thus enforce it. Individual instances of beneficial use of the phrase do not negate that the phrase is more often used to negative effect. Or is it that last you question? Would you say the majority of instances in which "be a man" is expressed do not include these negative connotations and/or effects?
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

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