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  1. #21
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I don't think unconditional love would even be a good idea.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  2. #22
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    I believe that unconditional love exists... but it's not easy to find, until and unless you have the right mindset to seek it in the first place.

    At this point, I'll let you figure out what you believe the 'right' mindset is - each person has his/her own sense of what is right or wrong in the world, and I'm no one to judge that.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  3. #23
    The Iron Giant
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    I think unconditional love in romantic relationships is possible, but rare. I also think the only healthy way for it to happen is for it to develop over time. It's something that is best to, on some level, be consciously established, and only with someone who is healthy and positive enough to reciprocate.

    I am loath to give examples from romantic film, particularly problematic ones like The Notebook, but if you look at the way Noah and Allie are in their senior years, that's what unconditional love is. There has been conflict in their lives, and they haven't even always been together, but if you see the way "old Noah" (Duke) takes care of his wife who doesn't even remember him, you get some idea. She's not doing anything for him at all, apart from just being herself (and even that is debatable, without her memories... so it may be more accurate to just say she's being). He hasn't stopped loving her just because she's sick, but that doesn't mean he's not hurt. It's love as a natural way of being instead of a transaction.

    Unconditional love is not blind to abuse or dependency. There's a clear difference between harming someone and not providing conditional benefit.

  4. #24
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I'm skeptical about 100% unconditional love even being possible. I think just about everybody has a 'breaking point' when someone does something so heinous that love and forgiveness is just not possible. What if someone tried to kill you and felt no remorse whatsoever? That would be an example where I could no longer love the person.
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  5. #25
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Iron Giant View Post
    I think unconditional love in romantic relationships is possible, but rare. I also think the only healthy way for it to happen is for it to develop over time. It's something that is best to, on some level, be consciously established, and only with someone who is healthy and positive enough to reciprocate.

    I am loath to give examples from romantic film, particularly problematic ones like The Notebook, but if you look at the way Noah and Allie are in their senior years, that's what unconditional love is. There has been conflict in their lives, and they haven't even always been together, but if you see the way "old Noah" (Duke) takes care of his wife who doesn't even remember him, you get some idea. She's not doing anything for him at all, apart from just being herself (and even that is debatable, without her memories... so it may be more accurate to just say she's being). He hasn't stopped loving her just because she's sick, but that doesn't mean he's not hurt. It's love as a natural way of being instead of a transaction.

    Unconditional love is not blind to abuse or dependency. There's a clear difference between harming someone and not providing conditional benefit.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

    MY BLOGS: https://freestylelines.blogspot.com/, https://tfthdiary.blogspot.com/
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  6. #26
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    I have my doubts that humans are even capable of such a thing, even in the parent child context. So many parents are looking for and extract from their children the cost of love over the course of their lives. Whether they do it consciously or not is up for debate. The parent/child relationships that I have known have been firmly based on an ownership dynamic where the child has the expectation placed upon it that they must reflect the parents values in the world.

    I tend to think of unconditional love as being an idealised concept, but not really a practical one. The modus operandi of most people is a give-take situation. You barter for others affections with good behaviour and receive their approval in return. I'm not juding this as either good or bad, it just is. Realising this about human relations has been the hardest thing for me to square with. I'm not a fan of singing for my supper and feeling like a circus monkey in the process. I'm also not a fan of anyone holding currency over me for the purposes of being a puppet master. I like to maintain the ideal of personal freedom at least in my head if not anywhere else.

    My view on love relationships is personally that they are all bound to be shortlived. No-one can perform for another and not feel exhausted at some point and a tad resentful at having to perform in the first place. The best I can acheive in such relationships now is to ride the wave of the less I understand your inner workings the better I like you and then to call a relationship at it's natural end when I discover enough objectionable things about my partner to realise being involved with them is no longer an option. Sorry if that offends some romantic notions out there, its all I've got at this point in time.

  7. #27
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    To me, 'unconditional' sounds a lot like 'indifferent'. It means that you don't love something or somebody for what they are; you do it just because they happen to be around.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

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  8. #28
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    It doesn't exist, but so what? Conditions might not be that difficult to meet.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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  9. #29
    Junior Member Chancelade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    There does always seem to be a condition, if even the condition is that the person giving "unconditional" love is to feel good about themselves for doing so.
    Conditional sounds bad because we feel an ever-increasing need to save ourselves by loving and being loved after an era of disappointments (God and heaven, the enlightening power of science, the end of class struggle etc.).
    The idea of unconditional love has become a necessity as it is the only thing still free of cynicism which we think is achievable, thus conditional has a negative connotation to it.

    I think such labels as conditional are mere wordsmansip. I guess you can call it "conditional" if you love because you are rewarded with pleasure by feeling selfless, but it is completely irrelevant and does not detract anything from the strength or value of your feelings. In this case, unconditional love has no additional meaning to what we refer to as love in our everyday life. You can debate it, but it's unnecessary.
    everything goes

  10. #30
    Stansmith
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    It's a nice thought.

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