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"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"

Rasofy

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Quote attributed to Jim Rohn.

Do you agree? Thoughts welcome.
 

Alea_iacta_est

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Who the hell does Bill O'Reilly spend time with?

On a more serious note, I think this is accurate on the surface rather than what lies underneath (this could just be in my case, extremely high self monitor here). When I'm around certain people, I can and do mimic them, so I could definitely see myself looking like the average of the 5 people I'm closest to. Underneath however, I think I'm a completely different person than what I seem to be on the surface. Interesting quote though.
 

cafe

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For me, yeah. But that would be my husband and four children, so . . .
 

chubber

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makes sense to me.
 

baccheion

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It could be the case. Depends on how susceptible you are to external influence and the type of people you are surrounded by (how obsessed are they with pushing their own BS). For me personally this is not true. That is, I don't change to become the average of the people around me. Though some people have pushed their way into my life, then done everything in their power to change me into something else; usually into the person they keep trying to say I am, the person they think everyone should be, or the shit that they are. I never considered those people friends, I considered them pests that wouldn't go away.
 

Eilonwy

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So, would that mean that, not long ago, I was the average of my mom, who has vascular dementia from a stroke, and my cats?

Eh. I'm good with that.

:D


Hey, cats are people, too. I bet Lexicon would agree with me.
 

Magic Poriferan

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At the moment, I can't think of 5 people I spend a meaningful amount of time with. When I did, they weren't people I necessarily wanted to spend time with and can't say I felt like I was an average of them (like, at the office).

To an extent you can judge people for the company they keep, but I think it would be something of a mistake to assume they are like the company they keep. Indeed, what is sometimes so baffling and ripe for judgment in the choice of company people make is that people so often pick company worlds apart and all wrong for themselves.
 

Zarathustra

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Stupid.

Sounds like an oversimplification by an extrovert.

Do the people we spend time with influence us significantly? Obviously.

But who we are to begin with is a huge part of who we become, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with those five people.

Take two completely different people and have them spend the same time with the same five people, and they won't turn out the same.
 

FDG

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I'd agree if it's meant as friends and family and over the medium-long term. Disagree if coworkers and casual acquaintances are included.
 
V

violaine

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Hmm, interesting. I think I'm more of a connection between the people I spend time with, than an average. I think the world of the people I spend the most time with; they're all so interesting and electrifying to be with. I'm different from them and they're pretty different from each other though.

I have noticed that my best friends are always ENFJs and ENFPs. It's quite astounding how often I'm drawn to them as friends. I'm never drawn to ENFJ or ENFP men romantically though. We never seem to notice each other. :shrug:
 

greenfairy

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There would have to be similarities, but I wouldn't go so far as to say this.

ISFJ (mother)
ENFP (sister)
ISFP (2 guy friends); I'm going to throw in my other 2 friends because I spend more time with them thanmy sister: ISTP and XSXJ (ESTJ?)
What's the average of these? Letter-wise ISFP I suppose.
 

five sounds

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No.

If the point of that quote is that the company you keep is important, then duh. The people you surround yourself with probably are impacting you. Things like thoughts, behavior, mood might be influenced.

But your essential self? That's you forever no matter who's around.

I'm really different from most people I spend time with. They're all different from each other too.
 

Honor

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I am really different from the five people I spend the most time with.
 

Evo

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Stupid.

Sounds like an oversimplification by an extrovert.

Do the people we spend time with influence us significantly? Obviously.

But who we are to begin with is a huge part of who we become, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with those five people.

Take two completely different people and have them spend the same time with the same five people, and they won't turn out the same.

this
 

Udog

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I agree it's an oversimplification, but I think there is truth to this as well. There's quite a bit out there about how social networks influence us... you can predict (statistically) how likely someone is going to get divorced by whether or not their friends were recently divorced, for example. The same goes for obesity and weight loss.

People aren't statistics, and there will always be exceptions, but I think there is enough truth to this that you should be aware of who are you are spending most of your time with.
 

Udog

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I agree it's an oversimplification, but I think there is truth to this as well. There's quite a bit out there about how social networks influence us... you can predict (statistically) how likely someone is going to get divorced by whether or not their friends were recently divorced, for example. The same goes for obesity and weight loss.

People aren't statistics, and there will always be exceptions, but I think there is enough truth to this that you should be aware of who are you are spending most of your time with.
 

Zarathustra

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I agree it's an oversimplification, but I think there is truth to this as well. There's quite a bit out there about how social networks influence us... you can predict (statistically) how likely someone is going to get divorced by whether or not their friends were recently divorced, for example. The same goes for obesity and weight loss.

People aren't statistics, and there will always be exceptions, but I think there is enough truth to this that you should be aware of who are you are spending most of your time with.

I do agree with this.
 
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