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  1. #11
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    Manners and etiquette set up social expectations. Sometimes, they are important and/or useful; sometimes, they aren't. Why they are performed is more important to learn than how to perform them.

    The 'rulesets' that revolve around general courtesy and that are rooted in empathy have significance. People like to feel appreciated, and paying it forward helps us all out. Collective 'proper' etiquette can be detrimental to empathy, in fact, as it persuades us to put up fronts, thick shells that hide us from one another.

    Additionally, well -- I lack patience. As such, strict and prolonged adherence to the nuances would be exhausting for me, and so I tend to avoid environments where it's a necessity.

    I've never taken a class in the stuff, though I would do so out of curiosity.

  2. #12
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I have manners I just don't always use them

  3. #13
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    I never cared about these things, but I'm usually polite. It just worked out that way. What annoys me about things like these are people that obsess about them. Anything that's even a little bit off is offensive and something to get worked up about. And they wonder why the people around them are suffocating and can't wait to get away.

  4. #14
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Have you have attended manners class?

    No.

    Do you think manners and etiquette are important?

    Only knowing them is important so they're reflexive in polite company.

    How do you think the practice of manners and etiquette changes your psyche?

    They don't but they can help during social engagements.

    And how do you think being without manners or etiquette changes your psyche?

    No impact internally but externally, expect to be judged as barn born and raised.

  5. #15
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    my grandmother had all of us attend etiquette classes.

    i'm not sure how much i retained...but my parents made sure i always sat up straight and spoke properly.

    they were funny lil aristocratic hippies.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #16
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Jane Austin would love you.

    And as we all love Jane Austin, we love you too.
    This sounds like a character from a 50s TV western. Jane Austin: Cowgirl Scribe.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

    RLOAX (don't do it)
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    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

    Kiss Kiss [johari] Bang Bang [nohari]

  7. #17
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    my grandmother had all of us attend etiquette classes.

    i'm not sure how much i retained...but my parents made sure i always sat up straight and spoke properly.

    they were funny lil aristocratic hippies.
    The English Aristocracy has a tradition of eccentricity.

    And as Australia was founded after 100 years of the Aristocratic Ascendancy, we have inherited some of the tradition of eccentricity.

    However it is an eccentricity that does not preclude good manners and etiquette.

    And hippies are eccentric and mannered.

    And I believe that as we move deeper into the Electric Age we will become more mannered and value etiquette.

    Australians are formally informal and mannered quite like Americans of the South.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by CapLawyer View Post
    I never cared about these things, but I'm usually polite. It just worked out that way. What annoys me about things like these are people that obsess about them. Anything that's even a little bit off is offensive and something to get worked up about. And they wonder why the people around them are suffocating and can't wait to get away.
    It is worthwhile caring about manners and etiquette until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

    Manners and etiquette are a bit like learning to play the piano. First we practise our scales until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

    So those who have to remember to practise manners and etiquette come across as awkward, without grace or charm, as someone without manners or etiquette.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    It is worthwhile caring about manners and etiquette until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

    Manners and etiquette are a bit like learning to play the piano. First we practise our scales until they become second nature and we can forget about them.

    So those who have to remember to practise manners and etiquette come across as awkward, without grace or charm, as someone without manners or etiquette.
    What does this have to do with my post?

  10. #20
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    The essence of manners and etiquette is that they are unconscious, so we do not think of carrying out manners and etiquette. It is only bores who consciously think of manners and etiquette.

    And manners and etiquette become second nature, or unconscious, by practice.

    And so when manners and etiquette are second nature, we can take them for granted in any situation, and we are free to be as charming and amusing as we wish.

    If we have to start remembering manners and etiquette, it is too late, we will have lost the pass, and we will be seen as awkward bores.

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