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  1. #21
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default Beautiful Lies

    It is a milestone in the development of a small child when they tell their first lie.

    Yes, we learn to lie at a very early age and it is essential for our social development.

    We are inter-subjective species. And just as we can share our minds, we can hide what we are thinking by lying.

    And hey, I always tell those close to me to lie to me to save my life or lie to me to save my feelings. And they do, and I am alive and I feel good, all thanks to lying.

    The biggest lie we are told is to be like George Washington who cannot tell a lie. And we are told liars are bad, and even in English 'liar' is a pejorative word.

    But not only do I want you to lie to save my life; I want you to lie to save my feelings; but I want you to tell me beautiful lies.

  2. #22
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I could lie to someone's face and they wouldn't even doubt me if I wanted to do so... I have pretty perfect control over my face, voice and body language. I did it for years.

    Most people don't consciously realize what their face, eyes and body are doing at any given moment... unfortunately for anyone who wants to lie, those things easily give away whether or not you are telling the truth. I spent a lot of time bored as a kid and decided at one point that if I wanted to get out of my home town and do anything with my life I needed to make myself someone who could... and part of that involved learning to control that stuff (it involves a mirror!)

    Control your image and presentation and you control the interaction... kind of simple really

    Unfortunately I kind of lost control and started to believe my own lies so I choose to tell the truth now... it's easier and a bit of a thrill. Especially when you tell the truth about something and then have to convince everyone else that what you did really WAS the right move while not lying... it's like tap dancing!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #23
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I can't seem to do this correctly. What are the tricks in lying?
    Do I look fat in these pants?

  4. #24
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Can't help you. I believe I suck at this.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  5. #25
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    It is actually hard to lie successfully and it takes a professional like Meryl Streep.

  6. #26
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Do I look fat in these pants?
    yes eat some celery

  7. #27
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    yes eat some celery
    Knew you couldn't resist. Congratulations, you just graduated from the school of liars!

  8. #28
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    I am a horrible liar. The worst. It would show all over my face. Can't do it.
    If you can't lie- avoidance is a good second measure.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  9. #29
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I can't seem to do this correctly. What are the tricks in lying?
    High Mach here, lying can be mastered pretty easily.
    1. Tell as much of the truth as you can with the lie, the more truth told, the more believable it is, and the more confident you will be with your lie.

    2. The reason why psychopaths are amazing liars are because they BELIEVE their own lies, if you can somehow justify your lie in your mind and/or convince yourself you did/didn't do something (something abstract, not concrete, you can't convince yourself that you didn't punch someone in the face, but you can convince yourself that you didn't say something harsh to someone last week), the lie will pass by much more smoothly.

    3. Incorporating an embarrassing detail into your lie will make it exponentially more believable than not incorporating one.

    4. Never look away from someone when you are lying, always keep eye contact and act like you normally would, and do not under any circumstances, expand upon a lie. If you try and explain as to how you got in a situation such as "I was late coming home because my boss held me up at the door and I couldn't find my keys and I got an important phone call right after I found my keys and there was a traffic jam on the highway coming home" it will fail. The only time you can break this rule of thumb is with #3.

    5. Never under any circumstances should you get offended when someone calls you out for lying, this is the number one mistake made by bad liars, people who are telling the truth won't (usually) get offended and will say things like "It's the truth," or "Believe what you want."

    6. The less you lie or get caught lying, the more trustworthy you will seem. Think ahead and figure out if this person will 100% find out you lied to them, and if they will find out immediately, don't lie. It reduces their anger and it will make you seem more trustworthy in the long run.

  10. #30
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    We have two channels of communication.

    The first is conscious and the second is unconscious.

    So we can consciously lie with words but we find it almost impossible to lie with our body language.

    So when we lie there is no congruence between our words and our body language.

    So if we want to lie successfully we need to be trained to synchronise our words with our body language. Meryl Streep does this beautifully.

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