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  1. #11
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    don't have a filter
    May I be perfectly frank with you prplchknz?

    Part of your charm is that you don't have a filter. However sometimes this gets you into trouble. So leave the filter off but watch the effect you have on others. With the filter off you have considerable power to affect others. This is a power you can start to enjoy.

  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Pretend your hardest that it's true. Really get in that mindset. Spend a little time before telling it if you can crafting the whole world in your head like it is true. And keep it as true as possible - the more deviation from truth, the harder it will be. It's so much easier to just bend things as they already are just a tiny bit than to craft a whole new situation.

  3. #13
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    so another question: when I don't like someone without me trying nor thinking about it. I glare at them, I don't realize I'm doing it. I have a friend who I hated at first, and one time we were talking, and I was like I didn't like you when I first met you. and she was all like I know you would glare at me. And so I can see how this could be good because people know where they stand with me. But in certain situations it could get me in a lot trouble. So how do i turn it off?

  4. #14
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    It's not about the lie, it's about the outcome. If you are lying it's hopefully for the greater good, whatever you have defined that to be. Now focus your attention on the cost of what would happen if you didn't lie, and that risk is the source of motivation for speaking with confidence while you lie.

  5. #15
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    so another question: when I don't like someone without me trying nor thinking about it. I glare at them, I don't realize I'm doing it. I have a friend who I hated at first, and one time we were talking, and I was like I didn't like you when I first met you. and she was all like I know you would glare at me. And so I can see how this could be good because people know where they stand with me. But in certain situations it could get me in a lot trouble. So how do i turn it off?
    Start to think about the effect you are having on the other person. Put yourself in their shoes. And then you can start to choose which effect you want.

  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Start to think about the effect you are having on the other person. Put yourself in their shoes. And then you can start to choose which effect you want.
    that's not gonna work cuz i'd hate myself if i was acting the way they do and in turn start glaring at myself and going "you idiot!"

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    that's not gonna work cuz i'd hate myself if i was acting the way they do and in turn start glaring at myself and going "you idiot!"
    They don't see themselves the same way you do.

    So there are two ways of looking at them: there is your way and the way they look at themselves.

    You can start to look at them in the two ways: you can look at them your way and you can look at them their way.

  8. #18
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Channel into your Te. Don't think of it as lying, just reorganizing facts for more effectiveness.
    So is Te the driver of this? I am like George Washington. I'm the worst liar ever. My Te dom friend however- has it down to a science.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  9. #19
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    So is Te the driver of this? I am like George Washington. I'm the worst liar ever. My Te dom friend however- has it down to a science.
    Oh, I don't lie well, I'm also ENFP. But I can see myself believing certain things very strongly in order to make other things happen.

  10. #20
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Oh, I don't lie well, I'm also ENFP. But I can see myself believing certain things very strongly in order to make other things happen.
    I think because ENFP's

    A) Wear their hearts on their sleeves.
    B) Very much dislike hurting other people.
    C) Very much dislike being inauthentic in front of other people.
    D) Very much dislike being inauthentic with ourselves.

    I don't think it makes us more moral or something per se. I think it is our hard wiring that makes it difficult for us to lie. It just is written all over our damn faces. lol
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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