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  1. #31
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntiheroComplex View Post
    I cited those things because you expressed surprise that one could take such delight in doing those specific things at age thirty.
    No. If you think that, then you misunderstand what I'm trying to convey, or I'm leaving too many gaps for you to get a strong sense of it. It's not about taking delight in any one thing, and it's not about taking delight in them at 30. I see other FB posts that are equally about the "small stuff" (including my own) and I do not get the same perception of that person. It's about an aggregate of posts over time that lead me to draw a much younger portrait of someone overall, and not younger in a positive sense. That's what I want to explore, because this person is not the only person who I get that feeling from.

    At any rate, your post is very enjoyable and I appreciate you taking the time to share all those thoughts.

    So, knowing that I have something of a personal bias against the term, would you describe to what degree you'd link the concepts of commitment and maturity? What relationship do those ideas have, in your opinion?
    And I will try to answer this after some additional thought.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #32
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Re: the "what is it about twentysomethings" article... That was definitely a great read.
    Another complementary article:

    http://www.thewire.com/national/2013...on-time/65054/

    Re: the rest of it: I think the OP is misleading, and I completely understand everybody who reacted negatively to it -- since I, too, am on the side of "people should live the way they want to as long as they aren't hurting others"*. But Fi has its problems with articulating things like this... I've been there, I get it. So I'll wait on that promised explanatory post.

    *so while I'm totally fine with "childish" older folks usually, if they're a selfish burden on their loved ones -- e.g. some of the unemployed middle-aged folks still living with their elderly parents in Japan -- that's where I draw the line.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #33
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Re: the "what is it about twentysomethings" article... That was definitely a great read.
    Another complementary article:

    http://www.thewire.com/national/2013...on-time/65054/

    Re: the rest of it: I think the OP is misleading, and I completely understand everybody who reacted negatively to it -- since I, too, am on the side of "people should live the way they want to as long as they aren't hurting others"*. But Fi has its problems with articulating things like this... I've been there, I get it. So I'll wait on that promised explanatory post.

    *so while I'm totally fine with "childish" older folks usually, if they're a selfish burden on their loved ones -- e.g. some of the unemployed middle-aged folks still living with their elderly parents in Japan -- that's where I draw the line.
    japan? but the japanese have robotic parents, so how can they be elderly?

  4. #34
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    japan? but the japanese have robotic parents, so how can they be elderly?
    Eh, you know... their gears get worn down... they stop functioning for no reason... You have to reboot them all the time... they can't open really large PDFs anymore...
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #35
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Eh, you know... their gears get worn down... they stop functioning for no reason... You have to reboot them all the time... they can't open really large PDFs anymore...
    bastards

  6. #36
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    bastards
    I don't remember posting this. But I probably did

  7. #37
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Re: the rest of it: I think the OP is misleading, and I completely understand everybody who reacted negatively to it -- since I, too, am on the side of "people should live the way they want to as long as they aren't hurting others"*. But Fi has its problems with articulating things like this... I've been there, I get it. So I'll wait on that promised explanatory post.

    *so while I'm totally fine with "childish" older folks usually, if they're a selfish burden on their loved ones -- e.g. some of the unemployed middle-aged folks still living with their elderly parents in Japan -- that's where I draw the line.
    Thanks for the link.

    May I ask HOW the OP is misleading? I had the genesis of a thought ... I brought it out in the open to gather more data. I have drawn no conclusions about anything, I am not judging anyone's behaviour, but I am getting projection onto me that I am judging this woman and somehow by extension judging other 20-somethings on here or other people who like to bake smiley-face cookies.

    I don't have much to explain, because I'm trying to understand more.

    My question is - is it even a "thing"? If so, what might some consequences be for the future? It's something I've noted more and more over time, enough now to start to articulate my own perspectives, and heck, my 24 year old son is still at home, not launched into an independent life yet and my 22 yo daughter has already finished her undergrad and is now doing a post-graduate program. I live both ends of this spectrum real-time.

    I do realize that when I'm not sure of what I'm trying to say and when I'm trying to gather more information, I don't always phrase things the way I want, and maybe in hindsight I should have realized that the bulk of folks on here might have some sensitivity to the topic. It's useful to see just how much.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #38
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Thanks for the link.

    May I ask HOW the OP is misleading? I had the genesis of a thought ... I brought it out in the open to gather more data. I have drawn no conclusions about anything, I am not judging anyone's behaviour, but I am getting projection onto me that I am judging this woman and somehow by extension judging other 20-somethings on here or other people who like to bake smiley-face cookies.

    I don't have much to explain, because I'm trying to understand more.
    Well the OP was essentially: "I saw this woman posting pictures of her pets and her food, and it felt like I was looking at a teenager instead of a grown woman -- is it wrong to be in this state?" What struck me as judgmental about it was the fact that in your post you seemed really surprised that someone her age would do something like that, and that it had sparked that revelation in the first place. I looked at the OP and went "Why is it childish to post pictures of your pets and food on Facebook? Why would that make you think that she was in some sort of delayed stage that may have consequences later?"
    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    My question is - is it even a "thing"? If so, what might some consequences be for the future? It's something I've noted more and more over time, enough now to start to articulate my own perspectives, and heck, my 24 year old son is still at home, not launched into an independent life yet and my 22 yo daughter has already finished her undergrad and is now doing a post-graduate program. I live both ends of this spectrum real-time.

    I do realize that when I'm not sure of what I'm trying to say and when I'm trying to gather more information, I don't always phrase things the way I want, and maybe in hindsight I should have realized that the bulk of folks on here might have some sensitivity to the topic. It's useful to see just how much.
    I think it would have come across better if the bolded was the focus of the OP. The example and your personal ideas on the topic came across as an opinion that you held with enough strength to post a thread about it -- it didn't come across as neutral, even if you meant it that way.

    Thank you for the clarification, though. I feel much better about this thread now!

    So... to answer the question, I think it may be a thing, for some people, and there may be consequences for the economy (i.e. if these folks aren't contributing to it) and to families (if these folks are burdensome to them) -- but really, as long as you aren't hurting anybody, then go ahead and do whatever makes you happy. Someone else, earlier in the thread, mentioned the subjectivity of the concept of "maturity", and I agree with that.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #39
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    The example and your personal ideas on the topic came across as an opinion that you held with enough strength to post a thread about it -- it didn't come across as neutral, even if you meant it that way.
    My threads are generally about things I want to learn about, not things I have much of an opinion about. If I had posted that I'd watched this girl's posts over the last few years, that Mom pays for lots of treats and trips, then perhaps you'd judge her as being one of the perpetually adolescent. I just wanted to explore the idea of being stuck in that state, no judgement attached.

    Note that in your rephrasing, you say, "Is it wrong to be in this state?" That's not what I'm asking. And it's not up there in the OP, anywhere. Maybe being in a state of perpetual adolescence IS indeed heaven on earth. Maybe it's the best thing for society ever! I don't know.

    Think of me as the Switzerland of human neutrality. I generally just want to know more. My judgements can be decades in the making, because I reserve making them since when I do they can be pretty final.

    I do apologize for any confusion though ... it's hard for me to find the words to explain what data gathering I need to do.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  10. #40
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Actually, a better way to say the above just came to me - I make a thread like this to get more data points when I feel myself leaning towards making a judgement. It's not really about her per se (just the catalyst of the moment) but it's about my inner framework, my inner structure.

    I want more data in order to stay balanced. To build as true a model as possible.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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