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Thread: Which specific compliments rub you the wrong way?

  1. #1

    Default Which specific compliments rub you the wrong way?

    Based on a lil bloggy conversation, I thought this might be a funny/interesting topic.

    Is there anything that people say to you that is a nice thing and a true thing, but that bugs you for whatever reason (while other compliments don't bother you as much)?

    What is it about these things that rubs us the wrong way like that?
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  2. #2


    My appearance, musical ability, my voice.

    I pretty much disregard all compliments though, but those rub me the wrong way.

    You can figure out why.

  3. #3


    When I was younger I suffered from frequent social anxiety. I had small, compulsory reactions to compliments; I would look down, deflect them, or broach the topic entirely.

    I questioned whether people really meant what they said; I also wondered if it was even okay to feel comfortable with myself, my accomplishments, and other things, since I've always preferred a progressive mindset: there's always room for improvement. I think the atmosphere of my upbringing typically encouraged shame as a virtue.

    Since then, I've learned to take compliments at face value - not to accept them as gospel truth - but simply acknowledge that someone said XYZ and take it into account for further reference. It's still easy to revert back to an unwarranted sense of shame, but it's a drag so fuck that.

  4. #4


    One that bugs me is if people focus on optimism/cheerfulness. Sometimes it's fine if someone mentions it as something they like about me, but other times, it makes me SO ANNOYED to hear it.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #5
    wants Mifune clone minion Array Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Personally, I have trouble with being given any kind of accolades publicly or in front of others. Even if it's genuine, it makes me very uncomfortable if people can overhear it. While it's helpful to know people appreciate X or Y about me- I'd always prefer to hear it in private.

    It's slightly different if it's work related- it wouldn't especially bother me to hear "you did a great job with that" in a meeting. But in more social venues it makes me very nervous and wary to distraction.

    And also, it feels kind of awkward to get compliments about something I don't especially care about. I never know how to respond- if the person is complementing it then it probably means something to them, so I don't want to belittle it, but it leaves me with a deer-in-headlights feeling.
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  6. #6
    Seriously Delirious Array Udog's Avatar
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    I have a nasty tendency to interpret "You did a great job!" as "Wow, color me surprised that you didn't completely blow that!" So I struggle to take that compliment as well as I should.

  7. #7
    Alma Array five sounds's Avatar
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    I hate hearing that I'm "animated"

    Not even sure that's a compliment though.

    I used to be bothered a lot more when people would tell me I was always smiling or always happy. I've kind of gotten over that though. Whatever.
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  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I have a nasty tendency to interpret "You did a great job!" as "Wow, color me surprised that you didn't completely blow that!" So I struggle to take that compliment as well as I should.

    We have been struggling to teach my dad that people might not love when he says "actually... I really liked that food you made" or "that was actually funny", because his tone sort of implies that he wasn't expecting to enjoy it/didn't think the person was capable of being funny.

    But then he says, "I KNOW... that's why it's a compliment, because I wasn't expecting it to be that way, but it was, so I was pleasantly surprised."

    I mean, I can see where he's coming from, but not everyone would interpret it that way.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  9. #9


    Compliments regarding my intelligence, demeanor, or external appearance.

  10. #10
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Array Mole's Avatar
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    They say in massage we should direct our strokes towards the heart, and it's the same with compliments.
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