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  1. #21
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Is there anything that people say to you that is a nice thing and a true thing, but that bugs you for whatever reason (while other compliments don't bother you as much)? What is it about these things that rubs us the wrong way like that?
    For me, it all depends on WHO is giving the compliment & WHY. It seems to me that about 50% of the compliments I get IRL from other chicks (some temperaments in particular) are kinda back-handed. For instance, I've been working out lately and I've dropped about 10 pounds. I wasn't fat to begin with really but a little bit plump I guess. I've always been kinda curvy & I liked that & showed it off pretty often. This coworker (who hates me & I hate her) starts gushing in front of everyone in a meeting yesterday.."OMG, you look amazing! You've dropped soooooooooooooooooooo much weight! You just look stunning my dear!". She emphasized "so" way too much for me. Essentially, she was implying that I was suuuupppper fat before in front of everyone. Gag me with a spoon, bitch!!!!

    I look at guy's motives too but they usually tend to be pretty straightforward.

    Other ones I don't care for that I get alot: "you're so unique" & "you are so intelligent and smart BUT....(**insert** whatever the hell they think I should be doing here).
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  2. #22
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    "OMG, you look amazing! You've dropped soooooooooooooooooooo much weight! You just look stunning my dear!". She emphasized "so" way too much for me. Essentially, she was implying that I was suuuupppper fat before in front of everyone. Gag me with a spoon, bitch!!!!
    what a bitch, i hate two face bitches. I like to think I'm straight forward, maybe I'm not. My point is being it's better to say you're a fucking bitch and i hate you than to say something back handed. I don't always realize compliments are back handed, It took me years to learn "bless you" in the south is essentially fuck you. So I hate when people aren't straight forward, it's like urgh. it confuses me. I need a guide

  3. #23
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    I hate hearing that I'm "animated"
    That's right. You're no 'toon!


    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    For some reason I hate it when people say I'm "nice and friendly" -- which might be true, but which I feel doesn't come anywhere close to my essence at all.

    "Weird", on the other hand, is a compliment.
    Hmm. Awww... you're so weird.


    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    "Cute". The word is harmless for infants and animals, but I can't think of a single instance of healthy behavior in an adult that could fit under the definition of "cute". If it's not a backhanded sneer, they're excusing awkward behavior that shouldn't be excused. People pull this out unfailingly when in my own eyes, I am at my least competent.

    But that's expecting everybody else to have my perspective. If there's anybody who sees/uses this in a friendly manner, it would ease my soul if you said so.
    Cute is probably one of the best and sincerest compliments I could give, seriously. It means I like some aspect about someone so much that I'm willing to sound all gushy and feely to express it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    For me, it all depends on WHO is giving the compliment & WHY. It seems to me that about 50% of the compliments I get IRL from other chicks (some temperaments in particular) are kinda back-handed.

    I look at guy's motives too but they usually tend to be pretty straightforward.
    Speaking of backhanded compliments!

  4. #24
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    the ones where they compliment you to criticize you. I hear "I think you're great, but you're actually a shit head" just call me a shit head.
    Ugh, yeah. It really doesn't sit well with me when people try to preface criticism with something syrupy. It comes across (at least to me) like treating people as if they are stupid. I get so distracted by the (seeming) underhandedness of it that I half want to dismiss the criticism out of spite.

    [It doesn't always come across as condescending to me- it generally depends on context and/or the person who is doing it, how often the person does it and specifically what they say.]
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  5. #25
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Ugh, yeah. It really doesn't sit well with me when people try to preface criticism with something syrupy. It comes across (at least to me) like treating people as if they are stupid. I get so distracted by the (seeming) underhandedness of it that I half want to dismiss the criticism out of spite.

    [It doesn't always come across as condescending to me- it generally depends on context and/or the person who is doing it, how often the person does it and specifically what they say.]
    I know that's how they teach you to criticize but really it's just mean.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    what a bitch, i hate two face bitches. I like to think I'm straight forward, maybe I'm not. My point is being it's better to say you're a fucking bitch and i hate you than to say something back handed. I don't always realize compliments are back handed, It took me years to learn "bless you" in the south is essentially fuck you. So I hate when people aren't straight forward, it's like urgh. it confuses me. I need a guide
    Yah, worse yet she touches me sometimes only when my boss is watching. She "hugs" me, sometimes with a full frontal which I cannot stand. I try to hide but I've discovered her "hugs" from behind are much worse and I can't escape them as easily

    Speaking of backhanded compliments!
    ..................
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  7. #27
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Yah, worse yet she touches me sometimes only when my boss is watching. She "hugs" me, sometimes with a full frontal which I cannot stand. I try to hide but I've discovered her "hugs" from behind are much worse and I can't escape them as easily

  8. #28
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Yah, worse yet she touches me sometimes only when my boss is watching. She "hugs" me, sometimes with a full frontal which I cannot stand. I try to hide but I've discovered her "hugs" from behind are much worse and I can't escape them as easily
    Why the hell do people feel the need to get all hands-y especially the ones you dislike the most? Personal space, anyone? Gross.

  9. #29
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I'm always at least a little hesitant about accepting compliments. But I can't say they really ever rub me the wrong way. I don't hate them. I also don't neccesarily feel undeserving of them. I just feel that me just being me doesn't warrant complimentary.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #30
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Oh god, I do that exact same thing, for the exact same reason.

    What type is your dad btw?
    Hahaha. I can kind of imagine that actually. Cracks me up.

    Hm. I have no idea. His conception of himself is that he is soooo rational, but I kind of think, in terms of his philosophies about life and the world, he has a hard time communicating it in a clear manner. He's really really intelligent, his life has not really followed a linear trajectory. I have thought at times maybe ENFP but I honestly have no idea and am the world's worst typist.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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