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  1. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    haha... so you're saying that a common attitude amongst people is not a threat on perceived territory?

    Or that some people feel they hold a "greater right to things"? I may be an INTP and do weigh up things rationally, but then if you presume everything is metaphysically controlled then this is opinion and not fact. It's little to do with INTPness (though i generally don't care about logic, but then I think I'm an atypical INTP).
    ^ If I heard someone speaking like that in real life I'd refer to their speech as at best "garbbled" and at worse nonsensical.

    Your posts in the thread so far have been pretty defensive, you respond to people giving you advice or simply trying to participate in an accusitory way, suggesting they are threatened and getting into a conflict footing as quickly as possible.

    This is simply what I've observed from your posts. It doesnt make for communication, instead it obstructs communication.

    You're using a lot of language which conveys very little, it looks verbose and obtuse, perhaps you're trying to impress upon forum posters that you're a "pretty smart guy" and that's, as I say, unnecessary, you're building walls and not bridges with that sort of communication.

    Although it all belies someone whose ego is pretty fragile and is highly deployed in their interaction with others, which itself would be suggestive of some sort of narcissism.

    Whether that's just the age you are, it associated with adolescence a lot in sources I have read, or perhaps developmental stage, maturational processes can be blocked in all sorts of ways so someones chronological age doesnt reflect their functioning, its impossible to know from the information available in the thread.

  2. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    er.. it's clear that this is what was insinuated.

    Also, not all people are logical. And many here do say they engage in friends with benefits.
    I dont believe that anything was insinuated, how do conclude that it was clearly insinuated?

    What baring upon the thread has either your conclusion that not all people are logical or your observation about what some posters have disclosed/posted about their sex lives?

    I'm afraid this appears to me just like further defensiveness and conflict as a deflection, if this is what you're doing in the thread I can only suspect it is also what you're doing in person in your interaction with your "psych".

  3. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    Life is reciprocal, is it not?

    Also Lark and others were hostile to me, so I will be hostile in kind. if we're all strangers, so be it.
    You're discussing life now? Alright, did you know you were posting a reply to me or did you choose to refer to me in the third person when posting directly to me?

    I dont believe that anyone was hostile you at all. The posters who responded to you did not validate your points, maybe you felt that equally they were failing to validate you when that happened.

    That can happen a lot when people begin discussions online, we've had discussions about "safe spaces" and things to that effect in the wider forum community as a result. However, given the topic of the thread and how you've choosen to interact with people I think its perhaps a little more than that.

    Hostility isnt a good strategy for communicating with people or holding discussions. Although perhaps you can report back on how its working out for you now that you've identified its a definite choice you're going to make or behaviour you will opt for?

    Good luck with that.

  4. #54
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    ^ If I heard someone speaking like that in real life I'd refer to their speech as at best "garbbled" and at worse nonsensical.

    Your posts in the thread so far have been pretty defensive, you respond to people giving you advice or simply trying to participate in an accusitory way, suggesting they are threatened and getting into a conflict footing as quickly as possible.
    I'm saying that I'm not a typical INTP. And?
    This is simply what I've observed from your posts. It doesnt make for communication, instead it obstructs communication.
    If you are hostile, then so am I. Why do you presume strangers must owe you their time? If you respond in a hostile manner, others will to you.
    You're using a lot of language which conveys very little, it looks verbose and obtuse, perhaps you're trying to impress upon forum posters that you're a "pretty smart guy" and that's, as I say, unnecessary, you're building walls and not bridges with that sort of communication.
    So you resent intelligence, which I don't believe I am, and hold an unhealthy attitude towards it? Ok....
    Although it all belies someone whose ego is pretty fragile and is highly deployed in their interaction with others, which itself would be suggestive of some sort of narcissism.
    Narcissism? No, you mocked my posts and OP, so this is how people respond. I never mock anybody's posts here, since if you truly don't care then it makes no sense to post.
    Whether that's just the age you are, it associated with adolescence a lot in sources I have read, or perhaps developmental stage, maturational processes can be blocked in all sorts of ways so someones chronological age doesnt reflect their functioning, its impossible to know from the information available in the thread.
    haha.. If you make judgments of me, I make them of you. You're insinuting you hold some "upper hand" here, but I don't know nor care...

  5. #55
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I dont believe that anything was insinuated, how do conclude that it was clearly insinuated?

    What baring upon the thread has either your conclusion that not all people are logical or your observation about what some posters have disclosed/posted about their sex lives?

    I'm afraid this appears to me just like further defensiveness and conflict as a deflection, if this is what you're doing in the thread I can only suspect it is also what you're doing in person in your interaction with your "psych".
    yes, it was. You meant all to say that casual sex is bad, yet if you all have friends with benefits, how is it truly bad?

    It seems you feel threatened that others intrude on your perceived territory, but then you can never seemingly prove how you're the virtuous party. I sense that you feel threatened that I have casual sex, since you feel only "cools" as yourself should. I'm a free human being, I do as I please. That is grounded in fact, not some empty social norm I don't care about (nor need/want to at 34 years).

  6. #56
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    You're discussing life now? Alright, did you know you were posting a reply to me or did you choose to refer to me in the third person when posting directly to me?

    I dont believe that anyone was hostile you at all. The posters who responded to you did not validate your points, maybe you felt that equally they were failing to validate you when that happened.

    That can happen a lot when people begin discussions online, we've had discussions about "safe spaces" and things to that effect in the wider forum community as a result. However, given the topic of the thread and how you've choosen to interact with people I think its perhaps a little more than that.

    Hostility isnt a good strategy for communicating with people or holding discussions. Although perhaps you can report back on how its working out for you now that you've identified its a definite choice you're going to make or behaviour you will opt for?

    Good luck with that.
    Er.. no.

    I posted, you all said or affirmed "GTFO out of here". Now, I do not "get" communications?

    You yourself have used an ascerbic (eek!!! "high class language" haha.. how do you know I'm not a linguist, or a writer, or an academic? Perhaps such "wording" is second nature to me. Seems you have issues with intellect, since from your posts you like to mock it...) tone with me, so I respond in kind. You have said I am "ill", and that the "issue is with me" regarding therapists.

    Not all language is subjective, it cannot be by definition. If I call somebody an idiot, then this holds a clear meaning. If I call an animal a tiger, this holds a clear meaning.

    Then again, I'm not interested in any discussion, since I don't get why I must be "kind" to some stranger online who does not seem to reciporate based on his or her bias and insecurity. I doubt you interact with strangers in real life this way, and I frankly have stuff to do in the real world that's more pressing, you know like shopping, watching TV, going out to bars (which psychologists hate ) and being with my gf.

    I would continue to contend that you feel threatened over what I have said, and that you have insecurity issues.

  7. #57
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    Since everyone else is having trouble communicating with you, let me give it a shot...

    meh, er, eh, haha


    I take it this isn't your first rodeo.


    :banned:

  8. #58
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    yes, common mannerisms are evil, i get it. language isn't always precise, but I like how you often project your standards onto others...

    This is the Internet, not an MBA examination.

  9. #59
    Senior Member two cents's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    It certainly does seem that a lot of people are coming to the thread with their own baggage about therapists.

    Are you really going to pay someone to provide you with warmth/empathy/support?

    That sounds a lot like just paying someone for validation, like I said in my first responses to Danseen, who I have no prior contact with or opinion of.

    I dont think that therapy is purely about seeking validation and agreement, someone to reflect your values and tell you life is great and you can do no wrong.
    The point of therapy is not "to pay someone to provide you with warmth/empathy/support". A therapist needs to be warm empathetic and supportive in order to form a good relationship with the client, gain their trust, and help foster cooperation. Psychotherapy is not something a therapist does TO the client, it is something both of them cooperate on. The goal is to help the client cope and be better-adjusted (and the specifics are highly dependent on a situation). A therapist isn't there to "correct" the client, tell them what to do, or to substitute their judgement for the client's. If, and it's a big IF, a client's judgement is, in fact suspect and is causing the client problems, the therapist is to help the client develop it, by teaching specific reasoning tools/techniques, and, perhaps, providing alternative perspectives/scenarios.

    Based on what you've said so far, it seems to me that your understanding of psychotherapy is based mostly on psychoanalytic theory/practice. Well, bad news: any "science" behind psychoanalysis has been demonstrated to be made up wholesale, and has no evidence to support it. If there's anything at all in Freud's theories (or those of some of his followers) that has any relation to reality, that is purely coincidental. The practice of psychotherapy has moved on since.
    And that's my two cents on the subject.

  10. #60
    Senior Member two cents's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Well, I suppose that's the whole of it then isnt it?

    Assuming they are truthful.

    And why are you assuming they are truthful? I based what I wrote on what was actually occuring within the thread, what were you reaching your conclusions on the basis of?

    Do you make a habit of assuming that whatever a person says they are lying? Nothing danseen has said about his experience is out of the realm of possibility. Unless you have specific (and weighty) reasons to believe that his report of being victimized by a therapist is a fabrication, why jump to that conclusion? Perhaps you don't like what he has said in this thread, or even in others, maybe you think he is an asshole, maybe you actually agree that being reserved/atheist/nonconformist or liking casual sex are somehow wrong, that still doesn't prove that his report is a lie, or make the behavior he describes from his therapist even remotely acceptable.
    And that's my two cents on the subject.

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