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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default the difference between being shy and being reserved

    shy is where you're afraid of approaching other people/situations while reserve you don't have a problem doing those things but you don't voice most of what's on your mind not because you're scares (that would also be shyness) but rather you think it's irrelevant

    do you agree or disagree with this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    I agree. I consider myself reserved but not shy.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  3. #3
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    I agree. I consider myself reserved but not shy.
    I consider myself more the opposite, but somewhat reserved in that I am hesitant to get involved with people and discussions even when I want to. I have my own things to do, and I'm concerned people won't be interested in what I have to say and will think I'm butting in and stuff.

    Edit: That's a good thing about online forums; you can butt in pretty much wherever you want.

  4. #4
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    Reserved means quiet, as in the person doesn't talk much. Shy means the person is apprehensive and maybe anxious about putting themselves out there and talking to others (afraid of rejection, humiliation, etc). Shy often means the person wants to be more outgoing but fears doing so which results in them being quiet and withdrawn. Once the person overcomes their shyness, they may either become more outgoing, or may remain reserved but without the fear of engaging others.

  5. #5
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CapLawyer View Post
    Reserved means quiet, as in the person doesn't talk much. Shy means the person is apprehensive and maybe anxious about putting themselves out there and talking to others (afraid of rejection, humiliation, etc). Shy often means the person wants to be more outgoing but fears doing so which results in them being quiet and withdrawn. Once the person overcomes their shyness, they may either become more outgoing, or may remain reserved but without the fear of engaging others.
    what I meant but you said it better thanks not sarcastic

  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    I consider myself more the opposite, but somewhat reserved in that I am hesitant to get involved with people and discussions even when I want to. I have my own things to do, and I'm concerned people won't be interested in what I have to say and will think I'm butting in and stuff.

    Edit: That's a good thing about online forums; you can butt in pretty much wherever you want.
    haha! that's my favorite thing! people (strangers) don't typically like that irl
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    Stansmith
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    Reserved around strangers, shy around friends.

  8. #8
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    I agree with your assessment, prpl. I myself am often reserved, and sometimes shy. There's a very fine distinction between the two. I sympathize with other people around me who obviously can't tell whether I'm one from the other; after all there's no particular cue to pick up on.

    Being reserved has sometimes been misconstrued by others as a lack of interest on my part or even contempt for the people at hand. I often just don't have anything to add. I think it's easier for people to assume you're shy, and that you're just afraid of speaking up rather than having nothing to say.




    I wish I could remember a quote I heard, or even the person who told it to me. It's something along the lines of "You know you've found love when the silences between you are comfortable."

  9. #9
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Agree totally. I am reserved, but never shy. I don't really fear anybody, nor see ANY need to do so.

  10. #10
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    I'd probably consider myself a little of both. Some days I'm more reserved than shy, while others I'm more shy than reserved.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    haha! that's my favorite thing! people (strangers) don't typically like that irl
    Yeah, well it gets really awkward. Once a couple of people I know were having a group bitch-fest about a certain person, when a random dude came and sat down in the middle of us. It was just so strange. He had no clue what we were talking about and he just stayed there until we had to leave. I applaud his balls, but it just didn't work out.

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