One thing for me.... if I try to think about "why" too early, I think that plays a role in suppressing anger. But it doesn't actually diminish the charge. I just need to write it, but try my damnedest not to fit it into a conceptual framework. At least not at first. I suppose that fits with not expecting a "why" to surface immediately, though.There’s always a reason for anger. As much as it might seem like that reason is ‘outside’ of you, the anger and the reason for it are actually inside. I think it’s a totally common trap to blame others for some way in which we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Instead of thinking, “this is too petty and it shouldn’t make me angry”- realize that it does make you angry and think about why, and don’t expect a ‘why’ that feels correct to surface immediately.
Thank you. This is what bugs me about people telling me to let it go. I don't find it that easy. If it's because I haven't accepted it first, that's a different story. Same for "not having expectations." I mean, yeah, that makes sense... but I have the expectations. Telling me not to have them doesn't make them go away. It's like telling someone not to get cancer.The ability to let it go (like lady x mentioned in the above quote)- and to realize that everyone is operating from they best place they know how- is something that comes from building acceptance for that anger in the first place. It’s not really a choice someone can make (to ‘choose’ to let it go), it’s an ability that needs to be cultivated.
Thanks for putting this into a framework I can grasp.It’s not going to happen overnight from a realization. It’s like a muscle that needs to be built from having that realization over and over and over again- until it becomes part of your cognitive autopilot.
You actually articulated that in a way that didn't make me want to throw my laptop against a wall, so thanks./is hoping she doesn't sound too preachy, but also doesn't really feel like taking the time to figure out how to not sound preachy