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  1. #81
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Just stop being a victim and acting like a martyr. Step away or find a way to protect yourself if he's crossing boundaries. He clearly has issues but it's really not your responsibility. You seem way too emotionally entrenched in this situation and you seem desperate for people to validate it by using the BPD diagnosis.

    I can see you were trying to help but having a mentality of "saving him" puts you in a "superior" position over him and it's not going to help. He has to hit rock bottom or truly understand the gravity of the situation.
    See- I am a "martyr" and "victim." I see with these individuals, I am not allowed to have suffered or seek assistance for my suffering. It is only about them- not the damage they do. This is truly horrible. And I will say this. If you are about to embark into any situation with someone that displays qualities of BPD--- run your damn ass off. They are essentially posessed by the devil.
    :P
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  2. #82
    Glycerine
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    Well, you have the power to get out of the situation, don't you? Is he manipulating you to maintain the "friendship"? That's what I mean by "stop being the victim". Also, "trying to save him" and "I did everything I could but he just won't accept help" mentalities seem a bit martyr-ish. Sometimes, people are fucked up but they don't want your help. It's almost masochistic to keep up that dynamic.

  3. #83
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #84
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Well, you have the power to get out of the situation, don't you? Is he manipulating you to maintain the "friendship"? That's what I mean by "stop being the victim". Also, "trying to save him" and "I did everything I could but he just won't accept help" mentalities seem a bit martyr-ish. Sometimes, people are fucked up but they don't want your help. It's almost masochistic to keep up that dynamic.
    Yes- and I know what you mean. I am emotionally in shock right now and hurt. I am trying to crawl my way out of the hole. I'm actually proud of myself- as I see the light. It's just not as easy as dismissing it like that. I hate calling myself a victim- but the reality is, I suffered extreme manipulation and abuse that I finally recognize and am trying to deal with. Thanks.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  5. #85
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Thank you- will read and OMG so eery!!!!! Before I saw your post, I JUST READ this one from the same site- omg- it is the best article on it to date for me. It encapsulates the experience I had perfectly and does not dishonor my feelings in the matter. Amazing. It is going to help me continue to deal and recover from this experience.

    http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/12/05...good-and-evil/
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  6. #86
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Yes- and I know what you mean. I am emotionally in shock right now and hurt. I am trying to crawl my way out of the hole. I'm actually proud of myself- as I see the light. It's just not as easy as dismissing it like that. I hate calling myself a victim- but the reality is, I suffered extreme manipulation and abuse that I finally recognize and am trying to deal with. Thanks.
    That really sucks. Regardless of his potential diagnoses, it sounds like a toxic situation and "friendship". I apologize for dismissing your traumatic experience. It's scary how one person can have such an impact on our lives. Despite my harsh posts, I wish you luck.

  7. #87
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    That really sucks. Regardless of his potential diagnoses, it sounds like a toxic situation and "friendship". I apologize for dismissing your traumatic experience. It's scary how one person can have such an impact on our lives. Despite my harsh posts, I wish you luck.
    No problem and thanks so much. I know my posts are harsh because I am raw right now. And truly- every post on here has helped me. I know this is not a self help board- but I do appreciate everyone here and their contributions to this thread. As you can imagine, it's complicated. I am actually a fairly mature and strong person- but this really socked me in the gut. And I think I was really caught up in the mind games- giving benefit of the doubt for far too long. I seriously feel a bit foolish at the moment, hurt and in shock. Thanks again so much.
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  8. #88
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    I am doing so much better. Particularly when I finally found some resources that validate my feelings. I have rights. I do not have to sign my rights away to someone because they have "a disorder." Get the f outa here. Do school shooters get a "get out of jail free card" cuz their momma didn't hug them? No. They big fat don't. I don't give a crap if anyone wants to tell me I'm a horrible person for not allowing a BPD to paint me black and accept it. He can paint me black, white, purple, pink----either way- whatever he paints me stinks cuz it's a dillusion. I know I did the best I could. I was MORE forgiving than I should have been. And I took abuse. And I now know these situations are absoutely FUTILE. They never get better. Rarely. And it has to come from them. Not from anyone else on the planet.

    So .... I'm no longer drowning.

    I'm on dry land.

    I'm making myself a yummy cocktail.

    And Ima lie here in the sun.

    And draining people need not apply. But if anyone wants to lie next to me and have a cocktail too ..... you are more than welcome.

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  9. #89
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I worry I might be borderline, but i;m told repeatly that i'm not.

  10. #90
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I worry I might be borderline, but i;m told repeatly that i'm not.
    Since I've been experiencing what I've been experiencing, you are always welcome- if you want - to PM me to talk about it.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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