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  1. #91
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I relate to these symptoms
    Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or illegal drug use
    Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, but sometimes feeling unable to change it (I don't self injure though)
    Wide mood swings
    Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
    Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
    Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
    Suicidal behavior
    Feeling misunderstood, hopeless
    Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing

    but not these
    feeling neglected, alone
    Fear of being alone

    but i really don't know if they're bad enough for me to be BPD

  2. #92
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I relate to these symptoms
    Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or illegal drug use
    Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, but sometimes feeling unable to change it (I don't self injure though)
    Wide mood swings
    Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
    Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
    Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
    Suicidal behavior
    Feeling misunderstood, hopeless
    Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing

    but not these
    feeling neglected, alone
    Fear of being alone

    but i really don't know if they're bad enough for me to be BPD

    Anything I say is completely subjective as I'm not a doctor. So my layman's initial reaction to what you wrote does NOT make me think you are BPD (not saying you aren't- but just saying I'm not thinking that yet just based on that) because I really think the CORE of BPD is abandonment issues. All that other stuff sprouts from this core. I know people that exhibit the things you talk about---- and they are not at all BPD. (I used to have anger issues which I have overcome years and years ago- so happy about that.)

    Also- at BPD's core is a stunting of emotional growth. They are emotionally immature. I truly believe that emotionally, my BPD friend is about 5 or 6 years old. I do not say this lightly or in a joking manner. In all other phases of his life, he is stellar, strong, amazing. Emotionally broken are those with BPD.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  3. #93
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Anything I say is completely subjective as I'm not a doctor. So my layman's initial reaction to what you wrote does NOT make me think you are BPD (not saying you aren't- but just saying I'm not thinking that yet just based on that) because I really think the CORE of BPD is abandonment issues. All that other stuff sprouts from this core. I know people that exhibit the things you talk about---- and they are not at all BPD. (I used to have anger issues which I have overcome years and years ago- so happy about that.)

    Also- at BPD's core is a stunting of emotional growth. They are emotionally immature. I truly believe that emotionally, my BPD friend is about 5 or 6 years old. I do not say this lightly or in a joking manner. In all other phases of his life, he is stellar, strong, amazing. Emotionally broken are those with BPD.
    yeah that's not me at all.

  4. #94
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    yeah that's not me at all.
    Good. And the fact that you are wanting to figure it out so openly screams to me that it's not either. So I would say try not to put a label on yourself and just try to address issues you are not comfortable with. (ie having anger outbursts.) For me--- when it was brought to my attention, it was like a slap in the face as I did not even realize I was doing it. I took a hard look in the mirror and it was an AH HA moment in my life- thank God. For the better.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  5. #95
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    NECRO'D...

    Found this old post about unhealthy version of ESFP... I think the description fits that of someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder... There have been some recent threads about emotional abuse and relationship advice... ESFPs may be prone to this condition... I had a female coworker (ESFP I guess) once that exhibited the bolded...

    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphim View Post

  6. #96
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    This is an interesting subject. @AzulEyes, I'm curious, how did you let him know he was hurting you?

  7. #97
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by solipsists View Post
    This is an interesting subject. @AzulEyes, I'm curious, how did you let him know he was hurting you?
    I flat out told him and it threw him into a talespin. I don't believe he is capable of acknowledging my feelings, that I have feelings, that my feelings matter. It is always ALWAYS only about HIM. And it's everyone else's fault.

    I never got the closure that most people would want in situations that are painful. He was never capable of giving it to me. I'm still trying to heal from the insanity.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  8. #98
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    I flat out told him and it threw him into a talespin. I don't believe he is capable of acknowledging my feelings, that I have feelings, that my feelings matter. It is always ALWAYS only about HIM. And it's everyone else's fault.

    I never got the closure that most people would want in situations that are painful. He was never capable of giving it to me. I'm still trying to heal from the insanity.
    Huh. I wonder how you phrased it and what exactly he did in response. No worries if that's too personal though.

    (I'd be happy to PM, but I understand if you'd rather not)

  9. #99
    LadyLazarus
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    Hmm, I think my father may suffer from this, I've suspected it for quite a while actually...

  10. #100
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by solipsists View Post
    Huh. I wonder how you phrased it and what exactly he did in response. No worries if that's too personal though.

    (I'd be happy to PM, but I understand if you'd rather not)
    Well- it was a complex set of circumstances that took place. I remember one time being very clear about the pain it was causing me. He pretended I was crazy- like did a gaslighting thing on me. Another time- I chose to be very calm and almost apologetic- just in hopes of getting some sort of reaction that I could work with- and I was essentially given the silent treatment. Very crazy reactions that I'm not accustomed to. Honestly- I have been in relationships that had really normal back&forth type of interaction. With Mr. BPD, it almost seems surreal like, "Is he REALLY doing this???" Like I would actually think that this must be a joke because grown people do not behave this strangely- but yes- grown people with personality disorders very much act really crazy. Almost like dealing with a delusional 5 year old.

    I know I'm not getting as specific as you might need me to- sorry. I think I was sort of traumatized by the entire experience of our "blow up(s.)"
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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