• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Shying away from private messaging...

JustDave

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
992
MBTI Type
xNTP
FWIW, the reason my personas are not consistent is because I am naturally a cheeky bastard. However, it is hard to convey my humor along with my good intentions via the cold dry text that forums are built on. As a consequence of not wanting to upset everyone I interact with my online persona has become very dry (and boring).
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
So, what am I really like? :D

al-gore.jpg
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
I hardly ever get PMs, nobody likes to talking to me I guess.

It's weird to send them out of nowhere, without first establishing some repport with the person on the open forum.
 

JustDave

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
992
MBTI Type
xNTP
I was thinking more of an intelligent Peter Griffin.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
This is pure speculation on my part but I think that extroverts would be more inclined to utilize PM.

Eh, not really.

I'm not shy about PMing people but this whole format is not really my thing. I'm much better in living color. I'm more personable via PM but not the best at timely responses. If it's someone I've PMed with regularly, I'm more likely to make the leap to AIM or MSN because they're faster which is what I like.
 

JustDave

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
992
MBTI Type
xNTP
Good point. There certainly is more immediacy with those formats in comparison to the forum based PM.
 

aeon

Potoumchka
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
339
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
947
Instinctual Variant
sx
After reading a few of the responses here, I understand why I haven't gotten responses to some of my PMs. I usually don't respond to short rep messages, but I always respond to PMs. I initiate them fairly often, too.

Same here.

On the few times I have sent a PM and gotten no response, I have wondered a long time why that was. I have a better idea of it now, though I still do not know for sure. I feel kinda shy about PMing them now. :huh:

I have sent PMs to people because something they said touched me, and I wanted to give them feedback. A couple of times In return I have received deep personal witnessing that was vulnerable and expressive of their human experience, and I have no words to say how much I value that. Those are moments of ineffable beauty to me. :blush:


Namaste,
Ian
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I find that PM’s are where real (cyber) friendships can start, I’m less guarded about personal information and feelings away from the boards. There are a number of people that I communicate with via PM on an almost daily basis elsewhere and I feel as though I’ve been able to get to know them very well.

As for initiating, well I don’t normally but I always respond, there are a few people that I’ve initiated conversations with but only after interacting on the forum first and feeling as though the opportunity for conversation is there.

Personally I prefer PM’s to MSN as it’s not so distracting, most people I speak to are in the States and the time zone means I’m at work when they’re on line, my bosses don’t appreciate me chatting all day :rolli:
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
PMs are best for getting to know certain people better. However, I sent a PM earlier for a more practical reason. I didn't want to clog up a thread. So, I answered the individual's question via PM.
 

clueless

Permabanned
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
92
Actually, I won't talk to anyone anymore in PM or IM if I don't know who they are in real life. Too many imposters on the internet and you don't know who you're really saying what to. Jaded.
 

Falcarius

The Unwieldy Clawed One
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,563
MBTI Type
COOL
Ok, Falcarius has a confession... He have never initiated a 'personal message' with any other member of MBTIc other than a few of the madmin, even then it was so they would feel wanted. Also, he has only ever gave something like one comment for every ten received in the 'comment section'.

Falcarius used to ignore most of the personal messages that did not ask him a direct question. He keeps getting these odd messages from new people saying how they have been lurking for a while and wanted to let him know how much they love his funny stories; Falcarius never knows how to reply.

One day someone personal messaged Falcarius and told him that she thought he had the coolest profile on the whole of this forum. She also mentioned how he also voted for the 'weird option' in a poll in which the question was what type was she. Just thinking about it makes him feel woebegone as he has not seen her post since; he wonders if it is his fault.:confused:

Ever since the incident he just mentioned before Falcarius has replied to nearly all his personal messages even the one from a self-described "weird" individual who was naturally interested in other "different" things. And an Australian called something strange like Qantassaurus, she seems to be a bit lost and ended up in the same forest as Falcarius.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
One day someone personal messaged Falcarius and told him that she thought he had the coolest profile on the whole of this forum. She also mentioned how he also voted for the 'weird option' in a poll in which the question was what type was she. Just thinking about it makes him feel woebegone as he has not seen her post since; he wonders if it is fault.:confused:

Methinks Falcarius is probably innocent of this offense.
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
Joined
Jul 9, 2007
Messages
901
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
9
I don't initiate PMs very often. I can't say I only PM my good friends, because that's not true. I have gotten to know a few people on this list and others very well through PMing them. I recommend it if it feels comfortable to you.

I've also sent PMs once or twice to people and never gotten a response. Being Fi, it sometimes hurts and is a little confusing. But, whatever. I've got other fish to fry.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I PM people when I feel moved to say something but may not necessarily want to post to the board either because it feels more private or I don't want to side track the thread that much or I am responding to a rep comment.

I do not necessarily expect them to respond automatically, only if they also feel moved to. I hope that no one has felt that they MUST respond to me because that would make me feel like I had been invasive which I do NOT intend.

If someone does not respond, I just assume that either they didn't feel moved to reply back or they were busy at the time or whatever. I don't automatically assume it was a slight against me or that I need to write that person off or anything. It is just message board communications and gosh here of all places things ought to be more free and easy going than in real life. The only time I would write someone off is if they express clearly to me that they dislike me or hurl abusive language at me. ;)

I do not always respond to other people's PM right away. This is not because I don't take them seriously, but moreso because I want to wait for a time when I can say what I want in a more careful fashion, to give it more thought.
 

TenebrousReflection

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
449
MBTI Type
INFp
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
This is pure speculation on my part but I think that extroverts would be more inclined to utilize PM.

I can only speak for myself as an introvert on this, but I find PMs a more comfortable way to talk in many cases because I equate it to a one-on-one conversation where I just feel more comfortable talking about certain things and also I like not feeling obligated to stay on-topic (some of my PMs are just because I want to comment or branch a thread on a tangent and don't want to de-rail the existing one) Sometimes I do feel awkward about sending a PM to someone (the more personal the nature of what I want to discuss the more second thoughts I have before clicking send, but I usually consider the potential conversation more worthwhile than the fear of reaction or silence).

I think I actually feel more awkward using PMs for business purposes (ie: Mod - please delete/edit xyz in abc post) than I do using them for normal communications (adminaphobia acquired from working under a tyrannical network admin for several years in a previous job :))
 
Top