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  1. #11
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I'm the same as the OP. ..I'm quite confident once they're in motion, but I'm unlikely to send one for fear of being obtrusive.
    +1

    I don't PM often, probably because generally (always?) I haven't initiated it.

  2. #12
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    This is interesting.

    I'm starting to wonder things now, not about others' private conversations but of how I come across to others who PM me.

    I've gotten several PMs from members who seem to want to chat, but I just never know how to respond, so I just read the messages but that's as far as it goes. I just don't know how to respond. So now I'm wondering if maybe this contributes to others getting the impression that I'm pushing them away.

    I've also got messages from people at social networking sites (namely AnxietyTribe) where people told me I could feel free to chat, and while it's not PMing, I think, psychologically, it's the same principle. I read the messages, but I didn't know how to respond. As a result, I got removed from their contact lists and such.

    I find it easier to talk about myself and draw the crowd towards me -- I don't know how to do it the other way around.

    I am just startled over how many people here use the feature for intimate conversations.

    (Oh, and I wasn't sure where this thread should go, so move it where necessary.)

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I've gotten several PMs from members who seem to want to chat, but I just never know how to respond, so I just read the messages but that's as far as it goes. I just don't know how to respond. So now I'm wondering if maybe this contributes to others getting the impression that I'm pushing them away.
    Answer: yes.

  4. #14
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    +1

    I don't PM often, probably because generally (always?) I haven't initiated it.
    Same. I will respond to incoming PM's just fine, but I would almost never send one unsolicited on my own.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  5. #15
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Yes, I too do not like to intrude, and avoid initiating a PM unless it's a close friend or business.

  6. #16
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    It's like there's an "ok" list. Once someone is on my ok to PM list, it's ok to PM. Until they are, it feels a little like intruding to initiate.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    It hardly ever occurs to me to PM someone.

  8. #18
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    It's interesting because I once got a PM from a member who seemed inviting in this context, but in the public forum, this person continued to have a bitter hostility against me and it was kind of confusing.

    Part of my lack of responding to this particular message had to do with the contradictory nature between public and private, part had to do with my loss of words, and part of it had to do with my suspicion aroused by the facts.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    Yeah, I don't go on instant messengers very often anymore. I only chatted with a few people anyway, but they faded from the internet long ago. I don't mind PMs though, but I rarely, if ever, send them myself. :P

  10. #20
    seor member colmena's Avatar
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    I'll go for a long walk by the sea on my own about once a week. I usually sit down on the pebbles and watch the sea for forty minutes or so before getting up and walking back. Sometimes I have the sort of romantic fantasy where a nice girl would just come up to me uninhibited and say hi. And just either sit with me, or have a weird but not awkward conversation.

    Sometimes when I go out for a walk, I see a girl on her own. I assume she's probably similar to me (they're quite rare). But I could never go up and say hi, or just sit with them.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

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